Mornings are the worst for me. You?

[LarsWB]

Mornings are my worst...at times.

 

To wake up, reach over, and realize that person isn't there anymore....that you weren't dreaming....is a terrible feeling. I use to kiss her on the cheek, every single morning...whether she was awake or asleep. I made coffee and always left her a little note.

 

I often wonder how she couldn't miss little things like that?

 

I want my mornings back.

[Snowy]

Yeah people do often miss those little things that they used to do.

 

But you just have to live with it the way it is and think to yourself, this is my life now.

 

It is impossible for your life to stay the same for the rest of your life. There will be ups and downs.

 

This change is one of the "downs", now you just have to wait for the "up".

 

 

[SocialStigma]

I never lived with my ex, and we were long distance, so I'm used to sleeping alone except for those weekends when I would visit him or he would visit me at university.

 

Nights were the worst for me in the beginning because I knew he was out at a party/bar/club..wondering who he's with, what he's doing, if he's going home with anyone etc. I don't really think about all that anymore though.

[tryintosurvive]

Lars, my X left in April and I felt that void just like you till about the end of May or first half of June or so. I can't really remember so i guess thats a good thing right?! It is so cliche but yet so true that time will fix that for you. I HATED hearing that from everyone because I thought it was nothing but proverbial crap. But it's true. It will get easier man.

 

I will say I have a great girlfriend now I met in church that does not live with me. But just because I have her now didn't fix any left over issues I was dealing with over my X. Nor did I use her to do so. I know better. It's a tough road brother and nobody can fix your head but you. You were abandoned just like I was and thats a tough pill to swallow. It's just time and taking care of yourself that heals. My new girlfriend thinks I'm amazing. Why would she think that? Because she is getting back what she gives. And she treats me like a king. What I'm trying to say is that I don't need her to validate who Iam. I know I'm a good guy. But what I'm saying is that you are too Lars. And like me, someday you will have someone that loves you like crazy and appreciates everything that you do. What continues to make my days easier and easier as far as getting over the feeling of being dumped is realizing that I had my X on a virtual pedestal. She didn't love me like I loved her. She could be selfish and self centered. I see that now!!!! I honestly have someone now that loves me exactly as much as I love her. No doubt. No question. No fear. No trust issues.

 

Lars don't chase someone that doesn't love you. You should never have to chase. They should come to you. Know your self worth and love yourself. Just look at how you loved her. It proves your worthy of anyone. When you get that urge to cry just do it. I hate it cause I sound like a pitiful dying cow but it works. If you don't wanna be alone get in the car on some of those beautiful Georgia mountain roads and go have lunch at some mom and pop joint. Ride over to Helen Ga. Thats a cool place to hang out. Go to the gym and work out. I don't buy all my groceries at once so I have an excuse to get out of the house so I grocery shop a few times a week just buying a few things. Go to the mall and window shop. Basically just get outta the house man is what I'm trying to say. Find yourself again. It's odd at first but you'll get used to it. The main thing is just don't stay home alone for long especially if it starts to bring you down.

 

Thats all I have for now but keep posting. Your doing good.

[SapphireNoir10]

Mornings were always the worst for me, and late at night. Its lying in bed by yourself isnt it? sucks.

[iBroken]

Mornings were always the worst for me, and late at night. Its lying in bed by yourself isnt it? sucks.

 

Exactly. Mornings were the worst when I was my lowest because I often dreamed we were back together. Then I woke up in the dead of winter alone, with no one to curl into. It was the mornings I would lay awake and realize she wasnt there and I was alone.

 

Late nights were the hardest too because I would just lay in bed and cry. And think about her and the guy she left me for.........

 

It all around sucks, but as others say, time helps

[Ryme]

Evenings are the worst for me. I was used to waking up after my husband went to work, but I'm not used to going to bed without him! I tend to have more time to think about things in the evening too, and after my daughter's gone to sleep and I'm here all alone, that's when I start to think about all the great times we used to have together, and wonder whether I'll ever experience that with anyone again.

[jenna-is-here]

Hi Lars...morning are the absolute worst. Especially those first 3 mos after break up. You sound like an amazing man to do those things every morning. It is the love you gave to that relationship that made it so great. It may not be what you want to hear but you will take that love to another relationship someday and it will be awesome because YOU created that.

 

Hang in there, I am in month 4.5 and I can not believe the change between month 3 to month 4.5. I really have worked on adjusting my frame of mind. Sort of "how you think is how you feel" so I changed the way I think. It was not easy and took practice, but has helped much in moving on.

[DannyC]

And what do you do if time doesn't heal the wounds. No one on here has mentioned that yet all the Bull about " time heals " blah blah blah.

[LarsWB]

Hi Lars...morning are the absolute worst. Especially those first 3 mos after break up. You sound like an amazing man to do those things every morning. It is the love you gave to that relationship that made it so great. It may not be what you want to hear but you will take that love to another relationship someday and it will be awesome because YOU created that.

 

Hang in there, I am in month 4.5 and I can not believe the change between month 3 to month 4.5. I really have worked on adjusting my frame of mind. Sort of "how you think is how you feel" so I changed the way I think. It was not easy and took practice, but has helped much in moving on.

 

Jenna, thanks....I do appreciate the kind words

I too am working my butt off to adjust my mindset....I am however a Pisces and I wear everything on my sleeve, which probably set me up for the heartache. I opened up like never before in my entire life once I decided to change things....and for that, I got my heart shattered instead of nurtured and loved. Her choice. You know - one never really sees it coming...never expects it. That's what makes this vacuum, this void, so painful. I trust your words though, that it'll get easier.

I know - and she knows - that I did everything for her, took care of her, and loved her like a novel...like a movie love story...that's just how I am, always have been....and that's what the next woman in my life will get.

 

Good day

[LarsWB]

Thanks to you all for the support, it helps....and I hope my support and story will help others too! That's why we're all here... support.

[lvsthebeach]

Mornings are the worse for me as well. Getting up and dealing with the reality is hard. I feel like I want to throw up and just go back to bed. The one thing that I hated (his alarm going off), now I miss.

[iBroken]

^ OOOOO, I dont miss her alarm either. LOL. She never woke up to it and Id have to nudge her and practically yell at her to get up! LOL

 

On the other hand, I have been late to work a little more often then usual

[oceanblue535]

I hate the mornings because I realize it's another day he was happier off without me. I always get that sick feeling when I wake up and check my phone.

[everybodyknows]

I really identified with your post and this really helped me today. Thanks for posting.

[TSandullo]

We never lived together and only spent five nights together though our entire relationship.

(physical activity was only during the daylight hours due to our circumstances)

 

So I have slept alone all my life.

 

But the early mornings and nights are still an issue for me, because of the rampant thoughts that occupy my mind still.

 

But it is fading in time.

 

TS

[OneBrightStar]

Mornings are the worst for me as well. I wake up and for a split second, I'm okay, until reality hits.

[Psylocke960]

I'm in the same boat. This morning I had all these random thoughts just come to me like a wave about the cute little things my ex would do and I just cried uncontrollably. I too, used to kiss him every morning on the cheek, whether he was awake or not. I miss him so much...

[LarsWB]

I'm in the same boat. This morning I had all these random thoughts just come to me like a wave about the cute little things my ex would do and I just cried uncontrollably. I too, used to kiss him every morning on the cheek, whether he was awake or not. I miss him so much...

 

My therapist told me that ANY painful thing...depression, etc. is almost always worse in the morning when you first wake up. She suggested that I keep something inspirational....a book or a saying, something that lifts me up...keep it right next to the bed and try to read it when I first wake. I've tried but it's not much help, honestly...

I use to txt my wife good morning up until a week ago....and she'd reply, and that made me feel better. That though, was prolonging false hope.

Hoping that each morning gets better, and that one day I have someone to kiss on the cheek each morning....make coffee for, and leave a note or haiku for. Someone who appreciates it.

 

I lived in SD for a long time, 5th and Juniper in the Barcelona. Love that city.

Good luck to you

[Psylocke960]

I used to surprise my ex with random notes, email or ecards every so often just to let him know how much I loved him and how crazy I was about him. I guess it never mattered

 

Lars, I know exactly where that's at in SD! Well, good luck to you as well...Each morning will get better for us.

[sunday2010]

I find night sometimes bad as I want to go to bed and be with him.the mornings aren't good at all as I have usually dreamed some bizarre dream of him.god when is this gonna stop!!!!!!!

[LarsWB]

I used to surprise my ex with random notes, email or ecards every so often just to let him know how much I loved him and how crazy I was about him. I guess it never mattered

 

Lars, I know exactly where that's at in SD! Well, good luck to you as well...Each morning will get better for us.

 

I did the same thing Psylocke....and when I would forget, she'd always say "where's my note?"

I also left haiku for her everywhere...or leave a flower in her car...she always smiled when I did things like that.

Jesus Christ, I did that * * * * up until the day I came home and she'd left.

 

I don't understand it, there seems to be no explanation and I'm trying my best not to think about it today....but it's difficult! This morning sucked.

Yes....each morning will get better...and someday I'll kiss someone else on the cheek when I go to work....and they'll smile.

[tryintosurvive]

I did the same thing Psylocke....and when I would forget, she'd always say "where's my note?"

I also left haiku for her everywhere...or leave a flower in her car...she always smiled when I did things like that.

Jesus Christ, I did that * * * * up until the day I came home and she'd left.

 

I don't understand it, there seems to be no explanation and I'm trying my best not to think about it today....but it's difficult! This morning sucked.

Yes....each morning will get better...and someday I'll kiss someone else on the cheek when I go to work....and they'll smile.

 

Sometimes I wonder if there is a fine line we cross by doing too much for the ones we love to where they just take advantage of us? I worry about that sometimes. I wonder if its possible everyone can get spoiled by this kind of generous love or just a particular person?

[ApC23]

i jsut woke up this morning, its day 2 of the break up after 3.5 years. as soon as i opened my eyes i started thinking "was that a dream? did we really break up?" then it hit me. not fun. it happened so suddenly, i thought we were doing good, then she says its over.

[theartofruin]

I never lived with my ex, and we were long distance, so I'm used to sleeping alone except for those weekends when I would visit him or he would visit me at university.

 

Nights were the worst for me in the beginning because I knew he was out at a party/bar/club..wondering who he's with, what he's doing, if he's going home with anyone etc. I don't really think about all that anymore though.

 

Yes! I am exactly the same.

 

Mornings are tough in the romantic/soppy/boo hoo I miss you way.

 

But evenings make me sick. Knowing her friend from out of town is visiting and they're going out clubbing and drinking all week. Makes me want to die. It'll pass eventually but right now I'm in that paranoid ex stage of thinking she's hooking up with a different guy every night.