message back?

[speak]

So, I wrote a thread about this same friendship a week ago.

 

I was asking the opinion of you all about if I should contact a person that I was once friends with.

 

He messaged me today.

 

He was verbally abusive. When I disagreed with him he would usually not like it much. If I didn't want to do something, he would start text wars with me. Two days after my fathers death he got mad at me and called me numerous ridiculous names. He once called me all types of horrible names on twitter after a disagreement. I was ugly, smelled bad, nobody cared about me.

 

Should I message back?

[nutbrownhare]

Are you being serious about messaging him back?

 

Don't even contemplate it! Cut all ties with this so-called 'friend' and concentrate on people who are nice to you instead.

[MidnightBeauty]

Uh I dont know the whole story to this BUT no one needs to put up with verbal abuse! So I say NO dont message him back, why whats the point? ask yourself...I say no need to have mean people in your life.

[speak]

Uh I dont know the whole story to this BUT no one needs to put up with verbal abuse! So I say NO dont message him back, why whats the point? ask yourself...I say no need to have mean people in your life.

 

Yeah, I don't know. Last time we talked he told me that I was like fake & that he never wanted to speak to me again. Then out of the ordinary, he messages me, (havent talked in two months) and wants to know how I am.

[anya1607307555]

No, ignore it and him. Remind yourself of your cousin's words.

 

His attitude (regardless of how or why he acquired it) is preventing him from being a friend to anybody. It is no reflection on the friendship you offered him. He is simply incapable at this point in time and has a lot of work to do before he can give to others. Offer your friendship to someone who appreciates it.

[K.S.I]

Block all the ways he can access you. Nothing else. Do not even try talking back, because that is what he wants of you. From my legal experience I can tell you that he is even a potentially dangerous person because of his total lack of self control.

[amipushy]

Block all the ways he can access you. Nothing else. Do not even try talking back, because that is what he wants of you. From my legal experience I can tell you that he is even a potentially dangerous person because of his total lack of self control.

 

 

I agree. This man is BAD, BAD NEWS. Do NOT reply.

[speak]

yeah, I understand. But why does he even do that? Tell me he wants nothing to do with me and that I am a loser, and then contacts me like two months later?

[nutbrownhare]

yeah, I understand. But why does he even do that? Tell me he wants nothing to do with me and that I am a loser, and then contacts me like two months later?

Cos he's a ******* (something I'm not allowed to put on eNotalone). You can speculate all you like about someone else's dysfunctional behaviour, but, frankly, I wouldn't bother. If he himself feels like a loser, he's likely to accuse others of being the same.

[givinggirl]

I've been there. The guy I was dating once sent me 80 nasty text messages in one day because I didn't answer my phone when he called me & he knew I was at a work function. He was verbally abusive and was down right mean to me. The best thing you can do for yourself is stay as far away from him as you can. Don't think he's going to change...he won't. Verbal abuse can turn into physical abuse very quickly. Remove yourself, change your phone number if you have to (I did). Trust me on this.

[speak]

I've been there. The guy I was dating once sent me 80 nasty text messages in one day because I didn't answer my phone when he called me & he knew I was at a work function. He was verbally abusive and was down right mean to me. The best thing you can do for yourself is stay as far away from him as you can. Don't think he's going to change...he won't. Verbal abuse can turn into physical abuse very quickly. Remove yourself, change your phone number if you have to (I did). Trust me on this.

 

Yeah, he used to get mad when I didn't answer my cell either. Sick. He told me that when my Dad died he was the "Only person to take me in." He wasn't. Many people were there for me. It's almost like, he wants me to need him. He wants to keep me low, so I will think he is the only person he needs.

[givinggirl]

Yeah, he used to get mad when I didn't answer my cell either. Sick. He told me that when my Dad died he was the "Only person to take me in." He wasn't. Many people were there for me. It's almost like, he wants me to need him. He wants to keep me low, so I will think he is the only person he needs.

 

Yeah, he wants you to think you're worthless. He wants you to feel guilty about things you shouldn't feel guilty about. The problem is he needs to build himself up because of insecurities, so he needs to break you down to make himself feel good. I didn't realize at first that he was trying to have control over me. In the beginning he was sweet as pie, but then things started going off. Once I realized what he was doing, I started to not compromise on things I normally would compromise on. That really ticked him off. He wasn't able to play with my head like he thought he could. He didn't realize I didn't need him at all. I'm a stubborn independent cookie and he thought he could have me under his thumb. He would tell me no one else will want me. He called me all sorts of names. I broke up with him, but he refused to let me. He physically trapped me (he was a lot stronger than me) until I said I wouldn't break up with him. I ended up breaking up with him over the phone and a month later, he came to my apartment at 1 am, I wouldn't let him in. He tried to bust down my door, luckily I had bought one of those security bars for the door in anticipation of an event like that. I had to call the cops and that was the last time I saw or heard from him.

 

Just stay away from him. I don't care if he is crying at your door (like this guy did to me), don't let him in. When this was happening all I thought was I'm not going to be that stupid girl on the news who shouldn't have opened the door.

[amipushy]

yeah, I understand. But why does he even do that? Tell me he wants nothing to do with me and that I am a loser, and then contacts me like two months later?

 

He's just sniffing to see if his 'victim' is still weak and vulnerable.

 

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