Nothing to live for

[timeout22]

I'm 19, and family issues are leading me to suicide.

 

My dad is morbidly obese, a hoarder,pessimistic, passive aggressive, he can hardly walk, he frequently shames people over extremely trivial things, and wallows in his own fear, anger, anxiety, physical pain 24/7.

 

He absolutely disgusts me.

 

My mom is much more sane, but frequently calls us names, yells at us, and berates us. I have 3 younger siblings, who I feel close to, but they add to the confusion and distress that plagues this house.

 

I know its natural to feel rebellious at this point in my life. But I'm close to suicidal and my hair is falling out. I barely have any money, but I have my dignity, and I can't endure this. help?!

[vertigoxo]

Sadly this is just one of the cases where you're going to have to put up with how they are and try to stay away from them, both physically and emotionally. Hang out with friends and try to stay away from the house as much as you can. Maybe consider getting a job to save up some money to move out.

 

Good luck and don't kill yourself... You have too much to live for.

[timeout22]

Thanks, that's really helpful.

[woodc5]

I agree. Try to save up some money to get your own place or find another solution. Do your best to avoid them emotionally and physically leave. You'll be away from it and your emotions will settle. Don't forget about your siblings though. It's probably hard on them, too.

[andi8172]

yep you cant change your family but get a job save some money be invisable to them and within a year move as far away as you feel you need to be....

[avman]

Being stuck with two parents with serious problems is certainly not a great situation. I'm sorry to hear this is weighing so heavily on you.

 

However you have a chance to make a better life for yourself and escape from the situation that you find yourself in with your parents. I think being rebelious is actually a very good characteristic that will serve you well. You need to rebel and break out into your own life with your own direction instead of being tied down with your parents.

 

Make a plan for yourself about how to get out on your own. Talk to friends. Get some money together. Or get into school and move out. Anything where you can look into the future and see a life that is all your own.

[timeout22]

Thanks, I've been feeling better lately. Its georgeous outside also, which helps.

 

I'm afraid of talking to anyone about my problems becuase I'll just start sobbing uncontrollably. The internet is helpful, but I need someone face to face. My therapist is on vacation, and I feel comfortable crying around him. I don't have any close friends and I can't think of a friend kind or mature enough to want to listen to me.

[OneEskimO]

Can you find a local ymca/ywca, rec center or something like that? The should have someone that you can talk to. Don't worry about crying in front of them, it's what happens when someone is upset and once you let it out and have someone to bounce it off of you will be able to begin to work through it.

 

Places like that may also be able to help you steer your life in a direction that will help you be able to move out or keep you busy so you're not a home so much to endure all that is bothering you.

[timeout22]

that's a good idea, i probably have one around here, i'll look for one.