Religious friend...

[tbone22]

So I have this friend who has changed a lot, she is bipolar but hasn't has symptoms in a few years but she has now given herself to God and that's all she likes to talk about. I have told her in the past and said that I don't want to talk about God and it seems like now was can't relate in anyway. Whatever I have to tell her i.e. drinking, or a TV show she rolls her eyes and thinks completely opposite to how I think, it seems like we have nothing in common... and now my boyfriend can't come to the cottage with me so I was thinking of asking my friend but I am thinking is that really a good idea? I just find that as the years pass on I am starting to feel distanced from her, all she does is read books, go to bible study... camp, like nothing like my life. In a way I want to remain friends with her but in a way I find whats the point since I am always feeling this sort of annoyance from her.

[Stay_home]

People change sometime... Who you used to know is not who you know anymore, you know what I mean?

[RelaxByWater84]

I have been where your friend is and those of us who follow God have to learn(most of the time the hard way) that we can't tell others how to think or what to do. She is at the beginning phase of her walk with God. Its like finding a new interest and if she is like me she will throw herself into it 110%. Her behavior will calm down. There is hope for your friendship with her.

[sidehop]

I agree, she probably will mellow out expressing her beliefs out loud with time. I probably wouldn't go to the cottage with her at this time though.

[abitbroken]

I have been where your friend is and those of us who follow God have to learn(most of the time the hard way) that we can't tell others how to think or what to do. She is at the beginning phase of her walk with God. Its like finding a new interest and if she is like me she will throw herself into it 110%. Her behavior will calm down. There is hope for your friendship with her.

 

The most fervent people are the newly converted. She will stop being so in your face in time an let her actions speak louder. However, is her pointing out things you shouldn't do really the problem if you were good friends with her when she was in the throes of bipolar symptoms? I just ask because a member of my ex's family was severely bipolar and changed much like your friend and the friends and family couldn't handle that there was no 'drama' anymore and couldn't handle the fact that she was making better choices and they didn't "need them" so much. Its just like when someone has an addiction and gets better - some friends don't like the new them. They want the them that would party or that would be needy, etc. They just flat out didn't know how to react and felt that their applecart was tipped too far.

[redswim30]

It's the old adage- " It's possible to never change your friends. As long as you accept that friends change"

 

Since I'm guessing neither of you will change your beliefs anytime soon, you have two choices- Accept how she has changed or choose not to be her friend anymore.

[nutbrownhare]

You can still be her friend; it might be an idea to distance yourself a bit, until her religious fervour dies down a little - if it ever does.

 

Having her on holiday with you sounds as though it would be excruciating, though. Not so much because of her religious beliefs per se, but it would be very difficult being closeted with someone whose beliefs do not chime with yours and who insists on imposing them on you. It would be just as difficult with someone who had strong (and vocal) affiliations to a political party you didn't support, or who was a very strict moralising vegetarian, say, if you weren't.

 

It doesn't sound to me like the recipe for a relaxing, enjoyable holiday!

 

But it certainly doesn't mean you have to give up totally on the friendship, either.

[catfeeder]

Your friendship doesn't need to be an all or nothing deal. Relationships ebb and flow over time. I wouldn't bind myself to spending a vacation with her, but that doesn't mean you need to burn any bridges.