My ex is going to miss out on me, I promise!

[kennyc90]

So my ex recently told me that she never wants to see me or be friends with me again. I was being mean to her that day because -->>

 

See, we we're going out for 6 months (by FAR the best relationship and best girlfriend I've ever had in my life) she broke up with me 2 months ago.. then we started talking again.. then the same problems came back and then she said she was fed up and immediately she started talking to another guy without wanting me to know about it because "she didn't want my feelings to be hurt." My ex already admitted that she kissed him already and told me that she "loves" him and he's the one who makes her happy more than anyone else right now. I tried to do the NC rule for a week and my ex called me. She told me that she doesn't even know why she called. She told me that she's having some problems with her new "lover" and I just told her hopefully it works out.. even though I'm hoping it doesn't. She said it felt weird talking on the phone and she said she had to go.. so as stupid as I was, I texted her back telling her "ya it was weird to talk to you.." so after a few texts, it eventually lead to an argument about how she left me for this guy. So as stupid as I was, (when I'm pist, I don't think straight which is a HUGE problem I need to work on) I told her I'll find another girl way better than her with a better body and etc. She got so pist and she told me she never wanted to see me again or be friends with me again. I told her my apologies and told her that I understand that you don't want to see me ever again. I wrote one last email to her saying that I never regretted seeing her and she has been such a great part of my life and I wished her well with her new "lover." I told her I may never see or hear from you again but maybe in the future we'll meet again... (5 days ago) Wow I was so stupid until I joined this website and read so much good information here I never knew. Wow If only I came here sooner, I would probably be in her arms right now.

 

Anyways, that's how it ended. Now, I feel like such an idiot.. I never knew about "rebound relationships" and how unsuccessful they can be. From the last thing I heard from my ex, they're having issues right now and I don't even know why. Maybe it's worked out, maybe they're having great sex right now as we speak. Ughh it totally bugs me to think like that but sometimes I just can't help it!! I can't get the voice out of my head "I don't want to be your friend or ever see you again" but we had such a loving relationship and in the blink of an eye, she doesn't want anything from me anymore! I never cheated on her or anything like that!! Sigh.. so I guess I have no choice but to do the NC for a long time. It's KILLING me from the inside. My heart is still fat for her and I always think about what she's doing right now. I absolutely afraid to see her and her relationship with this guy to actually work out.

 

So what am I to do for now? I don't really have anymore options at this point right? But even though I'm in the biggest hole ever, I'm not gonna quit.. I wanna get over this but I don't want to throw her away like that. She's the best girl I've ever had in my life and I honestly mean it and this is my first time I'm not giving up on an ex so this must mean a lot to me to stay in the game.

 

On her facebook, my photos are still on her "friends" album. I'm not sure if she forgot that I'm still in her album or not, but I'm still there. She deleted me on facebook but my friend told me about her album, that's how I know. She deleted my number off her phone. Wow I'm in a horrible position.. wow.

 

So ever since I've read about "bettering yourself" I've immediately hit the gym, started to get new clothes, try to go out with friends more often, and try to get back into doing hobbies. I actually have a hobby that makes me forget about everything and that hobby is... dancing Hehe yeah I know it sounds silly but hip hop dancing really takes my emotions away from everything.. I've decided that I actually want to go big with dancing since I've been into it for quite a while now. My ex knew about my dancing skills but I never took it serious while I was with her. Now I'm all up for it to make it big and do something huge in my life lol. Seriously though, I sound silly but next time I see my ex, I want to show her, not tell her but show her that I've transformed all because of you. I've already planned on joining a dance team. I want to make more friends and get more hookups and become well known around the area. Sigh.. am I just dreaming or can I really do this? I actually think I can pull this off, I just need support and motivation

 

In the end, I really really want to be back with this girl because I truly love her with all my heart. I pray to god every single day to get another chance to be with her in the future. I believe I will get that chance again, till then I wanna focus on myself for now even though I still feel like crap whenever I think about her lol.

 

Sorry I wrote so much but I had so much on my mind to share to thousands of different people

[JoshHimself]

Its not that much man, you got alot off your chest. She might realise she missed out, but she might not. The important thing is you know she did. Another thing, me and my ex have been like that a few times, its got pretty cut throat. She hates me, then she wants to be socialable, blah blah. Just dont play the game if she comes back like I did. And dont do anything just because of her, become well known because you want to.