Well it's over

[ksh1255]

Some of you may know my story:

 

 

 

Caught my wife I guess you can say emotionally cheating with a guy she was in nursing school with. She will never find anybody like me again. I killed myself doing whatever it took to make her happy, and keep this family afloat the 2 yrs she didnt work. I gave this marriage 200%. Nothing went wrong in our marriage, she did the same thing she has done with everyone else, lost interest in me.

 

I caught her IM'n with another guy about plans to leave me, going to visit him even though he has a girlfriend, and then they went into VERY explicit details of when they had sex years ago, rehashing step by step what they did etc...then carried it over to text messages I think. 6 minutes after he logged out talking about going to "satisfy" himself, they start swapping texts. I'm sure it was a bunch of sex texts.

[savignon]

I'm sorry you're hurting.

Although it probably seems that there was nothing wrong in your marriage, giving 200% while the other person isn't giving half of that is destructive in it's own way. A partner shouldn't have to kill themselves to make the other one happy. It's gotta be more even than that. Sometimes when a partner isn't required to participate and can do as he/she pleases, they lose interest because the free ride gets boring.

Just my two cents.

[DN]

So sorry about all of this.

 

Have you actually told her it's over?

[doityourself]

Ouch Im so sorry, if you think you did everything in your power than you should be able to leave this relationship knowing that.

 

Marriages have to go both ways. How unfair it is to you for her to be acting like that.

[Iakasot]

I'm sorry you're hurting.

Although it probably seems that there was nothing wrong in your marriage, giving 200% while the other person isn't giving half of that is destructive in it's own way. A partner shouldn't have to kill themselves to make the other one happy. It's gotta be more even than that. Sometimes when a partner isn't required to participate and can do as he/she pleases, they lose interest because the free ride gets boring.

Just my two cents.

 

It's not him, he said his wife has a history of losing interest in guys easily. I doubt all of them were as good and giving guy as him. I've learned the same lesson he is learning: Don't give to someone who leaves guys easily. I'm thankful to have learned that lesson when I was 20 years old, and not later in life. It will help me avoid a divorce and all the emotional trauma that goes along with one.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

From one of your previous threads. It sounds like she has a history of cheating. I am so sorry you are in this situation. On the plus side, at least you will be free to move on and you won't have to put up with a cheating partner any longer.

[artistic1]

Man, I feel for you bro, that's really tough. Keep your head held high friend. I know it's painful now but maybe one day you will look back and be happy you are no longer together. Stay strong, you are not alone. She doesn't deserve you, if she can't see how special you are, then who's fault is it? Her's or yours?

[ksh1255]

My question is this, we decided to divorce the night before last. Now, she already has all these new numbers on our phone bill texting her. I mean she is in Miami on vacation with her family, with our CHILD, and she went out to a bar last night...which I knew she was going to do and was not happy with. Now she has some Miami based number texting her at 5:30 and 5:45 in the morning.

 

I am considering going for custody of our child, and though this would obviously be her word against mine, I'm sure its a guy she met out last night and did God knows whatever with. So, is this something that can be used against her since she still technically is legally married? Not sure how that works.

[DN]

So, is this something that can be used against her since she still technically is legally married? Not sure how that works.

Highly unlikely in child custody. How she treats you and the marriage as a wife is not usually considered a factor in how she treats the child as a mother

[ksh1255]

Highly unlikely in child custody. How she treats you and the marriage as a wife is not usually considered a factor in how she treats the child as a mother

 

What about the fact that her whole family is unstable, as well as her? I mean she has a son that was 4 when we got married, and I was the 4th guy she lived with while she had him. She was married once before me, and the whole relationship lasted around 2 months. They didnt even date at that point, she just got pregnant and moved accross the country and got married. Matter of fact she got sent home for the SAME STUFF. Talking dirty to an ex over Myspace.

 

So, married and divorced 2 times. 2 Babies, 2 Fathers, pregnant 2 other times. Lived with 4 guys since her son has been born.

 

Her mom - Married and divorced 3 times, 3 babies, 3 different fathers. Engaged I dont know how many times.

 

Her family is dysfunctional, and apparently so is she. I never did anything but love her and that family and broke my neck to make her happy, and support us.

[DN]

Best discuss all of that with your lawyer.

[ksh1255]

Yeah I plan to. I've got all the details I can get so far as phone records, conversations etc...

 

She has already created new Myspace and Facebooks under her maiden name and status single. That's really weird and misleading, she is stuck with my name for atleast a year rather we want her to be or not....not to mention legally married.

[ksh1255]

I guess I just need to vent right now. The day I found out has been easier than the last few, and I haven't even seen her yet. She is supposed to be bringing my child by this evening for a little while. I unleashed on her yesterday, for sounding like she didn't give a damn about what happened, and everything I've done to get her where she is today as far as school and taking care of her son. She tells me that her son is estatic to leave, because I didn't ever bond with him. That's not exactly true, I had to discipline him, and with all the things I had to do with work and taking care of everything while she was doing schoolwork....it did not leave much time for quality time.

 

I'm just bummed. I feel the girlfriend of the guy involved should see the conversation, but i have yet to send it to her.

[Ms Darcy]

If you knew she was that messed up dear, why did you marry her?

[ksh1255]

If you knew she was that messed up dear, why did you marry her?

 

One word I guess: love

 

She made me feel like she was all about me. Truth be told when she broke off our engagement by text message, and went running around with her still legally married husband, that should have been it. But, I believed her when she said nothing happened. Because, here he was wanting her back, and she chose me. We were already re-engaged and everything when she got accepted to school...and that's all our marriage ever knew was nursing school. But still, it seemed great until out of nowhere.

 

Now, I feel she got back with me "just in case" she got into school. She used me for a ride, and that's what she got. She is a nurse now, thanks to me. Her son was well taken care of, thanks to me. What do I get in return you ask? Everything that meant EVERYTHING taken away from me. To add insult to injury, her moving buddy the last few days was her ex boyfriends sister....which even tho him and I became friends over the time and I never heard any good about him, tells me they could be talking. Let's not forget she left little things all over the house as "personal shots" at me. After everything I have done.

 

All that matters to me is my child, I have seen 45 minutes the last week. Up until then, I was with her since day one. I'm afraid she is not going to want to stay with me, next time I see her and this kills me. She is my life, and honestly the only reason I held on for awhile. I love my wife unconditionally, but I have accepted things are over, I am fairly certain things have happened with someone else, and there is nothing I can do about that. I can just be the best I can be, and put my kids first.