BriarRose Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 I want to add that you definitely should meet up with the other guy within a week. You've been corresponding for weeks, which IMO, is too long to go without meeting the person. If he makes excuses after all this time of why he can't meet you, I would cease correspondence with him. Link to comment
MalibuOne Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 I want to add that you definitely should meet up with the other guy within a week. You've been corresponding for weeks, which IMO, is too long to go without meeting the person. If he makes excuses after all this time of why he can't meet you, I would cease correspondence with him. And I agree with this! If he doesn't wanna set something up, you should cut your losses. Online dating is very different from regular dating. The pre-meet emailing can get out of hand... Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Share Posted July 3, 2010 I want to add that you definitely should meet up with the other guy within a week. You've been corresponding for weeks, which IMO, is too long to go without meeting the person. If he makes excuses after all this time of why he can't meet you, I would cease correspondence with him. Yes I know MK it is too long but neither of us have really brought it up until now, we have just been enjoying the communication. He also says that he likes to chat for a bit first to see whether there is a bit of a spark there, which i definitely think there is with us although of course all that could change on meeting up. I have said that the texting etc cannot carry on indefinitely and he text me this morning and said we should meet up in the week so we shall see what happens there. I dont know why but I am always more nervous to meet people off online dating. I guess with the guy last week we had already met each other out in a social setting for an hour or two. We knew what each other looked like in real life (not just pics), had spoken face to face etc and decided we liked each other so its not such a big deal to meet up again but with online you always have the thing will they like my appearance, what will he look like, i dont know i just feel its more awkward.. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 It's natural you would feel nervous. Just be yourself - and don't contact him after the "meet". Let him contact you. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Share Posted July 3, 2010 Ok thank you...watch this space then...if I do go out with the other guy next week I will let you know how it goes and definitely no texting him afterwards...lol.. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 3, 2010 Share Posted July 3, 2010 Ok thank you...watch this space then...if I do go out with the other guy next week I will let you know how it goes and definitely no texting him afterwards...lol.. okay, good luck - I know you will be just fine! Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 4, 2010 Author Share Posted July 4, 2010 How weird is this, lol, I was just looking through the dating site that I am on and happened to look at the page which shows who has viewed me last and who should be on there...the guy i went on a date with last week and started this thread about...how bizarre...especially as I live in quite a big city. He says on there that he is single and looking for dating but nothing serious. Weird!!! Link to comment
MalibuOne Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 Wow, that IS odd. I bet he recognized you and couldn't resist peeking at your profile! Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 That is odd. I'm guessing he will contact you again. Just a gut feeling. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 I know I couldnt resist a peek at his either, says he doesn't play games as life is too short. I dont really think I will hear from him again. I think even if he wanted to stay in touch but not go out then he would have been in contact by now. Life is very strange isn't it, lol...some of his pictures ring a bell too so I may have even taken a peek at him in the past! Link to comment
Stay_home Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Don't allow the inconsistencies of technology to have the final say about your date. It sounded like it was a great date! It's not likely that your text message didn't go through, but it could happen. I had a friend who once told me she called and I checked my history and didn't see her number anywhere. So then I check her 'dial history' and it showed my number in it. Technology doesn't always do its job. I wouldn't get too down just yet. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 Don't allow the inconsistencies of technology to have the final say about your date. It sounded like it was a great date! It's not likely that your text message didn't go through, but it could happen. I had a friend who once told me she called and I checked my history and didn't see her number anywhere. So then I check her 'dial history' and it showed my number in it. Technology doesn't always do its job. I wouldn't get too down just yet. Thanks NormalSin, I would agree there might have been a slight possibility if it was just the one text, but no I sent one after the date to thank him and also another the following evening when I had still heard nothing but no reply to either. Its highly unlikely he wouldnt have got either as they are both showing as sent ok on my phone. Thanks anyway though, Im not too down now, maybe a little disappointed and frustrated that I dont know what went wrong but ok really Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I'm sure he received the text. However, you may still hear from him. I think if he had no interest he wouldn't be looking at your profile. How long has it been since you sent that last message? Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 I'm sure he received the text. However, you may still hear from him. I think if he had no interest he wouldn't be looking at your profile. How long has it been since you sent that last message? Hi Mk, I think he probably just took a look to be nosy and see what I said. I would probably have done the same if it was someone I had been on a date with, even if I did not want to date them again. I sent the last message on friday evening about 9ish. I asked a question in it so I really cant see any reason for not responding before now if he was going to. Link to comment
MalibuOne Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Betty, I think you're right on all counts. With dating, women have to be more ready to walk away earlier in the process than we typically do. Just say, "next!" and move on...there really are lots of good guys out there, why stick with one that's just not doing it for you? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Hi Mk, I think he probably just took a look to be nosy and see what I said. I would probably have done the same if it was someone I had been on a date with, even if I did not want to date them again. I sent the last message on friday evening about 9ish. I asked a question in it so I really cant see any reason for not responding before now if he was going to. Friday? You may still hear from him. I mean, I'm not trying to get your hopes up, but it hasn't been that long. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 Friday? You may still hear from him. I mean, I'm not trying to get your hopes up, but it hasn't been that long. Nah to not even reply when I asked if he had a nice time? Before we went on the date we were texting and it would take him a maximum of an hour or two to repspond but normally a lot quicker than that. I asked the other guy who I have been chatting to from the dating site about meeting up this week. I suggested maybe thurs might be a good day but gave a couple of other days too. He was a bit half hearted at first, said yes i will see what my plans are this week, thurs might be ok after the gym. So I kind of said well only if you want to and he said sorry i wasn't very enthusiastic then, yes i do want to, i will look forward to it. Thing is nothing more has been said about it and I dont want to keep bringing it up all the time if he's not that keen but equally I cant keep texting him all the time if we are never going to meet up. So what do I do? Do I keep quiet and leave the ball in his court and see what he does or if by tomorrow he has not mentioned it ask him again? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Betty, I think you should let them ask in the future. Just my 2 cents worth. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 Betty, I think you should let them ask in the future. Just my 2 cents worth. Well he did suggest it first towards the end of last week, so I just kind of brought it up again. Thing is how do I stop all this texting if he doesn't bring anything up about going out again? I dont want to just stop and not say anything? How much longer should I give it? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Well he did suggest it first towards the end of last week, so I just kind of brought it up again. Thing is how do I stop all this texting if he doesn't bring anything up about going out again? I dont want to just stop and not say anything? How much longer should I give it? I would say 2 weeks is enough time. Any longer than that, and there's a problem or they don't really want to meet. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 I would say 2 weeks is enough time. Any longer than that, and there's a problem or they don't really want to meet. Ok so I carry on texting him for another 2 weeks and see if he brings anything up again? We have been texting for about 2 weeks already but i was happy with that as would prefer a bit of contact before meeting but now I am ready to meet up, lol.. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 Oh my god Miss Kitty you were right!!! Lol....the guy from the date last week just text me....he said...sorry he hasnt been in touch, he has been trying to sort out his house move, finish uni work etc but not an excuse not to get in touch and very rude of him and he apologises. He says he had a great time meeting up the other night and it would be lovely to be friends. Hopes I am well.. Soooo...what does that mean? In my last text to him I said not sure whether you had a good time. It was fun but no worries if you're not feeling it be good to stay friends. So is he saying that he isn't feeling it and just wants to be friends? Should I reply to him? What should I say? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Ok so I carry on texting him for another 2 weeks and see if he brings anything up again? We have been texting for about 2 weeks already but i was happy with that as would prefer a bit of contact before meeting but now I am ready to meet up, lol.. No, I meant 2 weeks from the time of initial contact. I wouldn't waste any more time on him. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Oh my god Miss Kitty you were right!!! Lol....the guy from the date last week just text me....he said...sorry he hasnt been in touch, he has been trying to sort out his house move, finish uni work etc but not an excuse not to get in touch and very rude of him and he apologises. He says he had a great time meeting up the other night and it would be lovely to be friends. Hopes I am well.. Soooo...what does that mean? In my last text to him I said not sure whether you had a good time. It was fun but no worries if you're not feeling it be good to stay friends. So is he saying that he isn't feeling it and just wants to be friends? Should I reply to him? What should I say? I think if he had no interest, he would not have contacted you again. I would respond, but not immediately. He took his time getting back to you. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 I think if he had no interest, he would not have contacted you again. I would respond, but not immediately. He took his time getting back to you. Ok thanks MK, I have no intention of replying to him tonight, he can wait for a bit now!! Will see how I feel tomorrow x Link to comment
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