She kissed another guy when she was tipsy

[everyturn]

Am I over reacting.. Is it possible for someone to be head over heels for someone and when they are not around make a mistake when theyve had a couple drinks and make out with a guy that is a regular at the bar she works at?

 

My gut tells me to move on and not look back, but we run in the same circles, and everyone that is around her at her work keeps pulling me aside and telling me what a mess she is and how much she regrets what she did.

 

She swears it was a mistake, and that she would never ever do that again.

 

But I cant shake the feeling that she went through an entire kiss without flinching.. I pulled up to pick her up that night and that is the first thing i saw from outside, she didnt know i was watching obviously.

 

I came in and asked her "what the was that?!"

 

And her face turned ghost, and she said what was what?

 

Went on to say that the regular was just consoling her because someone was bad talking her earlier that night, and she was justifying how good of a person he was for caring. Denied denied denied.

 

The following day i had heard from someone else that she had been flirty with him all night.

 

But we have always had a wonderful connection. And she SEEMS very remorseful, but is it an act? ](*,)

[everyturn]

Forgot to mention, when i confronted her the following day about what i had heard from someone else, she came clean in tears.

[FrenchFries]

I personally could not continue with the relationship. Trust has been violated and now you'll always wonder what she's doing when she thinks you can't see. You saw it with your own eyes too? That would screw me up for sure. Go with your gut, I say.

[MetaphorDavis]

This is a test. Let her back in and you fail the test. And more drama will follow. End it. Walk away...and when she tries to get you back let her back in if you so choose to. She must know you are willing to walk...or else no respect for you.

[HeartGoesOn]

That was not a mistake, it was a choice she made. To each his own, but I'd have a very hard time trusting that person again.

[Day_Walker]

Personally, I would just walk away. I think that you have to ask yourself if you can trust her after actions?

[Puckdog27]

My gut tells me to move on and not look back, but we run in the same circles, and everyone that is around her at her work keeps pulling me aside and telling me what a mess she is and how much she regrets what she did.

Cause she got caught

 

She swears it was a mistake, and that she would never ever do that again. And her face turned ghost, and she said what was what?

She's a liar too......

 

 

Went on to say that the regular was just consoling her because someone was bad talking her earlier that night, and she was justifying how good of a person he was for caring. Denied denied denied.

He was being nice so I stuck my tongue down his throat. Thats what I normally do, so whats the big deal?

 

 

The following day i had heard from someone else that she had been flirty with him all night.

Was that a mistake too?

 

 

But we have always had a wonderful connection. And she SEEMS very remorseful, but is it an act? (*,)

It could be genuine but it doesnt make up for the behaviour. Why was she drunk at her work anyway? If thats her normal thing at work, to get drunk and loose inhibitions, this will happen again. The fact that she did this in front of your circle of friends also shows how much respect she has for you and the relationship.

[FootofGod]

I've been told by wise men that, when confronted with cheating or things of this nature, it's completely your decision. Everybody will tell you "don't let them back, it's over," but it's your choice - you can give them ONE and only one shot, if you think they deserve it. I think you should definitely tell her that you need a while (at least a month) to think about it, and if she runs off during that time, that tells you nothing was going to change. If she's really remorseful, she won't run into the arms of another guy. They always try that "oh, woe as me you left and SHE/HE was there for me!" routine, but it's old. All drama. We're all grown-ups, we know what's up.

 

Let it be known that this is a one-trial offer. Any slip-up and it's out the friggin door, no questions asked, no begging, kicking, screaming. That's it. One shot only, and you have to decide before you even give them that one shot that it's over if anything like that happens again.

[TooLost]

If I were you, I'd run away!!!!!

 

There's nothing that excuses her behavior. Not being tipsy, not him consolling her,...NOTHING.

 

And I don't believe that this type of behavior is a mistake, since she obviously still had control over her actions eventhough she had drank!!

 

But that's just my opinion.

[savignon]

She was working and tipsy at the same time? That doesn't add up.

I agree with the other posters.

[Odysseus]

I personally could not continue with the relationship. Trust has been violated and now you'll always wonder what she's doing when she thinks you can't see. You saw it with your own eyes too? That would screw me up for sure. Go with your gut, I say.

 

Agree. Even if she has feelings for you, she has a weakness when she is drinking. This will happen again my friend.

 

Peace.

[Cadence44]

I guarantee there's more going on than what you saw. If this guy is a regular and she works there, there's more to the story. What are the chances that the one time she got tipsy and kissed someone is the time that you happen to see her do it? She only came clean about that kiss because you observed it and it took her awhile to think and come up with an explanation for you. Until she thought of one she was trying to act like it didn't happen.

 

Also, kisses between opposite sexes are not consolation gestures. Hugs are.

 

Run.

[Leon91]

hmm hard to say, of course everybody will say.. go, leave immediatley!!

 

but, luckily for me i was never cheated on in my 5 years with my ex..

but stupidly i cheated in the early days - why? because i thought i was a jack the lad!

i was popular and could do it... my ex back then was totaly in love and did accept me back

i didnt cheat after that, and my god im glad we stayed together because we until we split were phenominal together!

 

so there is a chance it was a mistake, like mine!

to be honest, other girls put me off, i find faults immediatley for some reason

so my ex didnt have to worry about me going anywhere, i compared rhem to "us"

and as soon as i looked, i realise that girl isnt anything compared to wat i have!

 

so maybe she can mature the same? who knows.. its your choice my friend

[Devchonka]

It is a choice, and for people with strong morals its an easy choice even when tipsy...HOW tipsy was she? Little tipsy your brain still works.

 

But I guess it all depends on how commited you guys are to each other, if you guys are just dating let go and move on. If you guys are going strong and otherwise had a great relationship, I don't know, maybe she lost good judgement for a moment.

 

Go with your gut, if you feel like it's worth sticking around and she really is completely destroyed over it and you can forgive then stay, if not then not.

[doiiiieeezie]

Long ago I had a male friend who told me that some girl tried to seduce him and basically the next thing he knows his pants were off and she almost fell on his member.(never dated... but a sob story that he was looking sympathy for) I didn't buy that story then... you shouldn't buy hers now.

 

There are plenty of good loyal single females that would never act this way drunk or sober. She's not one of them.

[FootofGod]

She was working and tipsy at the same time? That doesn't add up.

I agree with the other posters.

 

If she's a bartender, it's probably true. They drink on the job a lot. People often buy bartenders rounds and as long as they don't get belligerently drunk most places don't mind.

[DN]

Have you broken up with her or are you considering it?

[twinklingstars]

Aw she cried?? Well that's too damn bad for her. And shes in your social circles? Really makes zero difference.

She cheated on you, how could she do that to you? Wow she must love you so much because she cries for making a mistake. Her crying shows it? So what do you think her cheating shows you? Leave her!!!!!! How could you ever even think to forgive that?

[everyturn]

you all have very good points. i guess my kind and caring heart wants to believe everyone is good. but i also dont know if this has happened before. she's been a good actress in the past, so maybe thats where her sorrow comes in to play. just hard thinking that our chemistry is irrelevant. we have had some really great times. but i guess it is what it is. i suppose sex and sex only with her after breakup is a bad idea?

[DN]

you all have very good points. i guess my kind and caring heart wants to believe everyone is good. but i also dont know if this has happened before. she's been a good actress in the past, so maybe thats where her sorrow comes in to play. just hard thinking that our chemistry is irrelevant. we have had some really great times. but i guess it is what it is. i suppose sex and sex only with her after breakup is a bad idea?

Yes, it is.

 

But my questions is - could you forgive her and could you ever trust her again?

[everyturn]

forgive... maybe... trust, probably never. there have been other lies. she wants to have sex just for sex.

[DN]

No trust - no relationship.