Jump to content

Swift advice needed - bomb dropped on me


Recommended Posts

My significant other broke up with me within the past 36 hours, yet I haven't talked to him in 4 days. Yes, I know that doesn't make sense, but keep reading.


I was "informed" of our breakup via a method that allowed no two way communication (leaving out details purposely - but I promise this isn't a joke). I received the news, and I was asked to "be strong" and "take some time to digest"...all via a method that again, I had no way of responding. *edit*: It wasn't very clear in original post, but this method of me finding out was DIRECTLY from him. Not someone relaying a message.


What I need help with is the following:


I still haven't talked to this person since our last conversation. I have not talked to them since the bomb was dropped on me. Remember, we weren't in each others' physical or verbal presence during the breakup so our last talk was just peachy. We were making weekend plans.


First, I am in such a state of shock that my emotions are completely numb. I am not hurting, not mad, not sad. I don't really have any questions for my now ex... the information he gave was adequate in describing his reasons. Yet I feel like I am being immature by not responding. He didn't ask me to respond... but he kept begging for forgiveness and saying "so so so sorry". Basically, we weren't together that long (half a year+), but we said/did enough serious things together that it is definitely more than just someone I briefly dated.


I don't feel like I'm purposefully holding back contacting them just to prove a point or to keep my pride. I'm being honest - I just have no desire to respond. It's really more of a blank feeling. The reasons for the breaking up seem to pale in comparison to the chosen method. And that method really makes me not view our past 6 or 7 months together the same as I would had he come to me directly.


Am I being completely unreasonable? Am I being really, really dumb? I really hope some of you are able to respond with what you think.



Link to comment

There is no need to respond. This is a cowards way of ending a relationship and is not a person you want to have in your life. I am sorry it happened this way, you deserve better. At least you found out early in the relationship. Stay strong and do not give the ex the satisfaction of responding.

Link to comment

I think not responding is actually probably a smart move. It would be too easy to let your emotions come to the surface and write a reply you might later regret. Taking the time to step back and let yourself process everything first sounds very sensible.


Considering he didn't have the courtesy to break up with you face-to-face, I don't think you need to make a response ever if you never feel the need. What would be the point anyway? You sound like you accept his reasons.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...