I don't know what to think

[donewithitall]

Just found out the ex has gotten himself engaged in the three short months that he officially told me about her. I have no idea how long they were seeing each other before he told me because we were LDR. I just have mixed emotions because of how fast this has all happened. I know its for the best and there is someone out there that's better for me. Sometimes I just feel like I meant notfing to him but I guess that's the way it should be now. I am continuing to work on myself and make myself a better person. Thanks for reading my rant.

[Onegirl]

Its okay to rant. I'm going through the same things. My ex got engaged 6 weeks after he broke up with me. Its a bomb shell but it does get easier to handle after awhile. And the faster you marry the less work you put in yourself to heal from the previous relationship.

[Eclipse11]

Hi donewithitall...it's fine to rant and I admire you for your post since it is not wallowing in self-pity and you sound so sure there is somebody better for you around the corner...hugs Eclipse x

[Celadon]

I agree. I think you are wise to look for the lessons that will improve YOUR life and to not dwell too much on your ex. (I have learned this the hard way.) Good for you! Thinking about the ex does nothing to change him, nor does it change the situation any. When you are ready to get back out there, you will find someone amazing because you have a healthy attitude, and that will attract a good guy.

[donewithitall]

Part of the mixed emotions is that I feel stupid for being in denial and not recognizing the signs that he didn't want to be with me. Also for giving so much of myself to someone when they don't give the same in return.

[Saffron_]

Jusr remember: "Marry in haste, repent at leisure"

[donewithitall]

Those will be his second marriage. The first one he married because he got her pregnant and then she miscarried.

[Live-N-Learn]

Since you were LDR I would venture to guess it was going on longer than the official 3 months. So it probably is not as sudden at it seems on the surface.

[donewithitall]

I suspect it was longer too. He says he's known her for 7 years and didn't think of her that way until she threatened to end their friendship if he didn't make it official. I really don't want to know how long it had been going on but I suspect it could be when he moved back home which was at the beginning of our ldr.

[Celadon]

Part of the mixed emotions is that I feel stupid for being in denial and not recognizing the signs that he didn't want to be with me. Also for giving so much of myself to someone when they don't give the same in return.

Yes, we can feel foolish when relationships don't work out. But you are the one who has shown herself able to love and give. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about there. We do use denial to protect ourselves and to hang on to hope and sometimes that denial ends up biting us, unfortunately. But your ex also bears the responsibility of communicating clearly with you. He's kind of a jerk for not doing so, ihmo. But we all make mistakes, I suppose.