Ladies: how do you feel in this situation?

[m4tid]

You've been out with a great guy 3-4 times, and always had fun and good conversation. You're attracted to him and enjoy his company. He seems interested but reserved, occasionally being quiet, and only going for a quick kiss at the end of dates.

 

Do you wish that he'd be more aggressive and try to escalate things? Or would you want to continue to take things slow and get to know him better first?

 

(obviously, this situation applies to "my friend", and he worries that he's taking things too slowly)

[peanutbutterandjelly]

I would start to think that he's really not all that into me.

[RedDress]

See? Everyone works at a different pace. Personally, I'd be happy that he was taking the time to get to know me, rather than rushing the physical aspect of things. That is, of course, presuming that he's showing other signs of interest such as holding hands, touching the small of my back, etc.

[Tanzi]

I would personally prefer it if things became a little more intimate ...and I'm not talking full-on sex here. If he seemed to like me (ie asking me on other dates) I would, of course, go with the flow but I think I might be confused as to how he really feels and what he wanted if things didn't seem to be moving in any particular direction.

[HeartGoesOn]

I would have much respect for him for taking things slow I believe that a relationship has a better chance of making it, when two people take their time in getting to know each other, and decide if they're a good match, befor taking it further.

[BriarRose]

By the 4th date I would want more passion. He probably would not be the one for me. I would probably give it one or two more dates.

[Brightest Dark]

I think longer kisses would be good but nothing intimate.

[m4tid]

Thanks for the feedback! Seems like everyone has different expectations and there's no one answer.

 

On a related note, I was wondering something else about women's expectations. How much context is needed for a good kiss? Obviously the ideal is to have a bunch of playful flirting and building up of tension to the point that you just can't help but kiss each other, but I've never had that happen. On the other hand, one guy told me that if you're out for a walk and things are going well, just reach over and kiss her. That seems a little sudden to me, but that might just be my perfectionism...