4reed0m Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Hello everyone, I'm excited to announce that I have decided to give my girlfriend a promise ring symbolizing a pre-engagement ring. It's something we've discussed a little here and there and I'm ready to surprise her with one soon. I know her size, what she likes and what kind of ring to avoid (mainly, one that could be confused with a actual engagement ring) and I've chosen a simple yet classy looking silver ring with 2 hearts side by side with a diamond in the middle of each heart. My only question is, how should I actually going about giving it to her? This is (naturally) new territory for me and none of my close friends (who I could openly ask about this) have either done a promise ring or would know the "proper" way to give one. I would think it should be something somewhat casual, yet done with a little bit of planning at the same time. Clearly it's certainly not anything to make a spectacle in public about, but other than that, I really don't know how I should go about this effectively...Also, I was thinking it might be a good idea to save doing this as a surprise on a "normal" day (i.e. not on a anniversary, birthday, holiday, etc.) so it be more significant. Suggestions/thoughts? I really see this girl as the one I want to be with, and true we haven't been together long enough for me to propose (being that I'm slightly old fashioned) but taking everything into account, this really does seem like a good time to do this and I really get the feeling she is thinking about this just as I am. Thanks! Link to comment
eleanorrigby1 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Why not just cook her a romantic meal and hand her the ring and say that you love her but that you appreciate you havent been together long enough to be talking marriage but that you want her to know you are serious about her and that you intend on being with her for a very long time.. if she'll have you! Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Why not just cook her a romantic meal and hand her the ring and say that you love her but that you appreciate you havent been together long enough to be talking marriage but that you want her to know you are serious about her and that you intend on being with her for a very long time.. if she'll have you! i think this is a really nice idea. Link to comment
Sunny1607307996 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Why not just cook her a romantic meal and hand her the ring and say that you love her but that you appreciate you havent been together long enough to be talking marriage but that you want her to know you are serious about her and that you intend on being with her for a very long time.. if she'll have you! Agreed, this sounds perfect. Link to comment
workoutgirl70 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 If its not an engagement ring what are you promising to do exactly? If I was given a ring but not an engagement ring it would be a disappointment. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 If its not an engagement ring what are you promising to do exactly? If I was given a ring but not an engagement ring it would be a disappointment. i think it depends on how old the couple is. it's probably appropriate for a couple who is 24 or younger or they are still in school or something of that nature. i agree for an older couple, it's kind of odd. as in, an engagement ring is a promise to marry, so a 'promise ring' is a promise to buy another ring? Link to comment
4reed0m Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 We're both 23, and like I said, we haven't been together for a really long time, however we've known of each other from since we were young (though never really started hanging out until recently) so we do have a good understanding about where we've come from and because of our beliefs, values and interests, we compliment each other perfectly. I can really tell she loves me, and I definitely feel the same way. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 If you feel so strongly about her, why not get engaged now? This doesn't mean that you have to get married any time soon. If you want to give her some jewelery, go ahead, she'll love it. But I also don't fully understand the concept of 'promising to get engaged, i.e. to marry one day'. Link to comment
Taikero Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 But I also don't fully understand the concept of 'promising to get engaged, i.e. to marry one day'. "I feel committed to you, but marriage and anything associated gives me the willies at this point in my life. Let's take it slow, side by side, and see where things go together. I'll be here with you as you are here with me." Essentially, anyway. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 well, yeah, it's a sweet sentiment for a younger person, but i think at a certain age (and maybe 23/24 is that cut-off?) it's kind of silly. you don't hear of 40 year olds giving promise rings to one another. Link to comment
SocialStigma Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Hmmm I find promise rings to be a bit silly to be honest, it seems very high school to me. I have no problems about giving an SO a ring as a gift (I have a plain titanium band from my boyfriend, actually) but one that looks like/has the sentiment of an engagement ring just makes me wonder why not wait for when you're actually ready to be engaged and give her a proper ring then. Link to comment
Taikero Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 well, yeah, it's a sweet sentiment for a younger person, but i think at a certain age (and maybe 23/24 is that cut-off?) it's kind of silly. you don't hear of 40 year olds giving promise rings to one another. You're right. I don't think I'd do a promise ring because frankly, if I'm shelling out cash for a ring, it's because I'm ready for true commitment. Link to comment
Simply Sweet Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 I think that promise rings can be really sweet, especially the younger the couple is...but also at times it can be quite tacky. I did get a beautiful ring from my boyfriend this Christmas (white gold heart with a diamond in the center) but he made it clear that it was not a promise ring, only a charm ring (although I do wear it on my ring finger...but that's because it won't fit anywhere else!) He has made the promise to marry me one day, and I am completely content with that! If you have the ring already, then I suppose it's a bit too late. If not, maybe you can just make to promise vocally rather than with a gift! Or, if you still want to give it to her as a promise ring...make her a lovely dinner and just tell her "I'm not asking you yet, because I know we haven't been together that long...but I do intend to marry you one day." Then, you can give her the ring! My boyfriend said that to me and it made my heart melt. I know he has the intention...but he's not quite ready yet! Link to comment
d24 Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 maybe give her the gift, but dont mention it as a promise ring - like SS said above, just vocally declare you intention as a separate topic? i think unless either of you are particulalry 'cutesy' don't give it to her as a promise ring. it's a little corny in my opinion! make her a lovely dinner and just tell her "I'm not asking you yet, because I know we haven't been together that long...but I do intend to marry you one day." Then, you can give her the ring! My boyfriend said that to me and it made my heart melt. I know he has the intention...but he's not quite ready yet! that does sound cute though Link to comment
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