19, pregnant, how do I tell HIM???

[sexxy_tan]

I dont need to be judged, i need advice...

 

I am 19 yrs old, just found out Im about 5 weeks pregnant and I am NOT in a relationship with the father that consists of anything more than sex really. I took plan b after stupidly having unprotected sex but it did not work.

 

I have no idea how to tell this guy he is going to be a dad..

[sidehop]

There really isn't an easy way.

 

No matter what you tell him it doesn't change the fact that he has a child to raise & care for. Whether it'd be supporting you and the child financially and/or arrange custody/visitation.

[annie24]

are you sure you want to keep it? do you want to raise the baby or put it up for adoption? just some options to think about.

 

i agree with sidehop, there is no easy way to say it, except to come out and say it. good luck

[jengh]

Do you have your mind made up yet re: keeping it? I'm really sorry you're in this situation. I would just invite him over, maybe for dinner, and discuss your options.

[Sunny1607307996]

As tough as it is, you're just going to have to invite him over and have the conversation face to face. When you invite him over, make sure he knows it's to have a talk and not for sex. Then, gently but firmly, tell him you just found out you are pregnant and that he is the father.

 

And although the decision to keep the baby or not, or to put it up for adoption is entirely yours, I should hope you value his opinion and make the decision together. Don't let him pressure you into something you are not comfortable with or ready for, either.

 

Are your parents in the picture? Are they supportive? What about his parents? Are you in school? Will the father be involved completely or just financially? These are all factors to consider.

 

Make sure you have put a lot of thought into these decisions before he comes over. You don't have to make any final decisions but make sure you have thought everything through.

 

Be prepared for him to react in many different ways. He may be excited, scared, overwhelmed, he may blame you, he may cry, he may storm out. I don't know him so I cannot predict, but be prepared for any reaction.

 

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I hope everything works out for the better.

[FathomFear]

I know you don't want to be judged, but most of your previous posts begin a variation of "Uh oh, I had unprotected sex..." I think you're learning the hard way that having sex without taking necessary precautions is a serious matter.

 

In any case, I suspect this won't be a huge shock. And if it is, then apparently he doesn't understand what can happen when you don't use birth control.

[Capricorn3]

I know you don't want to be judged, but most of your previous posts begin a variation of "Uh oh, I had unprotected sex..." I think you're learning the hard way that having sex without taking necessary precautions is a serious matter.

 

In any case, I suspect this won't be a huge shock. And if it is, then apparently he doesn't understand what can happen when you don't use birth control.

^^ I totally agree. I can't say I am surprised as you have been telling us for months now that you keep having unprotected sex, and everyone has been telling you if you don't want to get pregnant, then get yourself on birth control etc, but you still chose not to.

 

As to how to tell him, invite him over to your place and sit down and discuss it like adults. This is not something one should do via text or email or on the phone (imo). Face to face is the way to go.

[hidden_kitten]

are you in a country where abortion is legal? seeing that you were happy taking emergency contraception, which is not always 100% effective, aborting it may be the best option for you.

[hidden_kitten]

__________

[sexxy_tan]

First of all, Thank you to those of you who have been helpful...

 

Im mostly leaning towards adoption or keeping the baby, essentially basing my decision on his reaction. I am definitely going to take his feelings into consideration an WILL be telling him in person.

 

Secondly, for those of you bringing up my previous threads, you obviously failed to read MY responses. I tried Oral BC, didnt do very well at it. This last time was a mistake but i did what i culd in the situation by taking plan b. The day I found out I was pregnant I had gone in for an appointment I had made to discuss trying "the patch" for of BC.

 

In the end, you don NOT know my life, thoughts, reasoning, or very much about me from a few posts on an essentially anonymous website.

[Sunny1607307996]

 

Im mostly leaning towards adoption or keeping the baby, essentially basing my decision on his reaction. I am definitely going to take his feelings into consideration an WILL be telling him in person.

 

 

I just want to caution you that he may not always be there 100%. I agree you should take his feelings into consideration but please don't base your decision to become a mother on his wanting to become a father. Sadly, many teen/young dads don't stick around for long, so be prepared to be single mother if you choose to go that route.

 

I wish you the best.

[Hermes]

SexyTan:

 

I think you have had honest and thoughtful replies from the people on here. You did ask, on a particular issue, and no, we do not know about your life or reasoning.

 

It is definitely most advisable to discuss this matter with the father.

 

Could I just mention that BC pills are not the only form of contraception around. If the BC pill (or patch) does not suit you, then there is the condom. Nowadays these are freely available from even vending machines. No need to ever be without one or two.

 

I hope it works out for you and that you can plan a better life ahead.

 

H