Confused.

[Lostbutokay]

Ex and I have been through a lot last few weeks. Trying to reconcile. To make a long story short she told me I had to get off pain killers and she took her engagement ring and left it at my bed side. Hurt a lot. Since then I stopped the pills, been in the gym etc.

 

 

Went there last night, she commented on how good I look etc. We ended up having sex etc. When I went to leave I kissed her and said "I love you". She gave me some odd looks and never said it back. This happened twice since she walked me to her car.

 

 

This is confusing me. : /

[OccultFigurine]

Man I really feel for you, no wonder you're confused.

 

You need to ask her whats going on, and be VERY clear what you want.

 

Personally, I don't really sleep with someone unless I love them (or am falling in love with them) so for me, casual friends with benefits arrangements aren't my thing.

 

But everyones different, and if thats what she wants, then you need to be clear on whether thats enough for you, and if not then tell her that. Its not fair for you to be messed around expecting more when she doesn't.

[Lostbutokay]

Thanks Occult.

 

I will call her today, she may even be coming to my mothers for mothers day. At the end of the day/night I will tell her that I want us together, and I need to know what she considers this because I do not want to just be intimate, I want to build our engagement. Hell I don't even know why she hasn't asked for the ring back on. If I get any kind of reluctant reply or anything then I can officially move on, because I hate the fact that it is making me guilty.

 

Just confusing the hell out of me.

[OccultFigurine]

I think thats wise, when you are in possesion of all of the facts, you can come to your own conclusions and make your decision. Good luck with it!

[Lostbutokay]

I called her today, saying that we were going to see my mom around like 12:30-1. She said she just got up, seemd to be in a bad mood. She said she has to clean and to call her back. I called her back twice no answer....Sigh..

[DN]

Unless she calls you back and is very different I think it is time for you to assume that she doesn't want to get back together and move on.

[Lostbutokay]

This now makes things 10x worse for me. My head is going to explode.

[DN]

You can't control what she does but you can control what you do.

[Lostbutokay]

So after calling her twice, and never getting a response (she doesn;t have a cell phone, but she told me to call her, and she knows my cell lol)

 

I see this written on her FB wall when I get home.

 

"one day,you gonna ask me to choose between you and my life and i'm gonna say"my life"and you gonna leave without knowing that u are my life...."

 

da hell?

 

My uncle today told me that everything that has bee n happening is just the beginning to the end, and the best thing you can do right now is nothing. No letters, no calls, nothing. She'll come to you if she wants to reconcile it totally.

[Lostbutokay]

I'm really hurt guys. Idk whats going on with this woman, and I can't believe it.

[Lostbutokay]

I'm about to send this letter, thoguhts?

 

Not sure why you didn't answer or call back today. I truly hope you understand on this mothers day that you are loved and would have been welcomed and had a great time to come over today.

 

You totally understand what I want in this relationship, but quite frankly I'm not sure what you want anymore, and it is hurting me terribly more and more each day.

 

If you ever feel that you want to truly reconcile this relationship you know how to find me, and we will go from there, but until then I hope you respect and understand why we shouldn't talk in the meantime.

 

Good luck in finals

[Lostbutokay]

Double post sorry

[DN]

I would leave out the part about "hurting me terribly".

[Lostbutokay]

DN,

 

I still want her to know how I feel though, but I guess I'll leave it out.

[DN]

She already knows how you feel.

[Lostbutokay]

So anything I should add?

[DN]

Nope. If you add anything else (especially about hurting) it makes you look weak and whiny.

[Lostbutokay]

Man that last line I put about why we shouldn't talk is so hard to send, cause I'm so scared she might not. Damn me.

[DN]

If she doesn't then you will know where you stand. And that is always better than not knowing.

[Lostbutokay]

Man I'm having such a hard time pressing send, but deep down I guess I have too.

[Lostbutokay]

This is killing me. Why did she not call me back today or pick up? Like * * * ? We just made love last night.

[Lostbutokay]

Decided to just not send it. It'll just make me feel worse.

[michaelhopes]

I think you should stop initiating any future communication and do a 180.....

But first....I'm curious as to how bad you were on those pain pills....Was this a legitimate reason to leave?

I had a girlfriend once that drank like a fish. I used to have a couple of beers once in a while. She joined AA and soon after joining I was enemy #1 because I still drank. She left for a fellow AA member.

It didnt matter if I drank or not.....She was wacked out on a power/control trip and looking for an argument anywhere she could find one. It took me a long time to see the truth because I was desperate to save the relationship and blamed myself for everything....

[Lostbutokay]

I took 20-30mg a day for 2 years, but I never let it effect my life negatively. Since the first breakup I cleaned up.

[michaelhopes]

I dont know what 20-30 mg means.....were you abusive? did you act like a drunk? did you sleep all day? did you crash your car etc..?

Was there an impairment in your daily activities that out weighed the benefits of pain relief from back surgery?

Or was it the fact that you were on something/anything that bothered her or that she didnt approve of?