Rosa Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Well, we broke up 1 month ago, 2yr relationship, lived together 1 yr. fighting too much, but also loved each other too much, maybe that's why we fought so much, I know we loved each other, during the good times we said it and showed it A LOT!!! I moved out to his request, due to arguing, I was devastated, and he knew it.... Had major ups and downs, did the NC for about 2 weeks, we started talking again 1 week ago, slept together 5 days ago, brought back lots of feelings, emotions, memories...... He called late 3 days ago to tell me he missed me and loved me, I said the same... I called him this morning and asked to see him, and he studered, so I asked if he wanted just to forget about me, and sadly he said, it was very hard to forget me, but at the moment he did want to try to forget me....... also, when we talked this morning he sounded so happy to hear from me.....and I felt the same....... I want him back so much.......I love this guy to death, I see myself with him forever, I cannot think if its not about him, I really miss him in my life, I don't know what move to try next to get him back, This guy is 30yrs old, we talked about kids, marriage, future plans, THE WORKS! and now is all gone, and I want it back, I know he asked for a break but what does a break realLy mean? I'm afraid he's gonna meet another girl, and i'll loose him for ever, he's good looking, great job, nice car, great friend to have, awesome lover, funny, smart, beautiful house, I mean the perfect bachelor!! I mean is not all good either, the guy has his issues, but so do I, I mean who doesn't?!!! I'm in the same position as him, we made a perfect couple, averyone always commented on us, even strangers!!, his buddies would always say I was the female version of him..... I got along with all his friends and family.....it was perfect at times....we just argued way too much in the end......and he asked for a break WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN???!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
TrueHeart Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Sometimes couples get soo involved with one another, they start taking things for granted. A 'break' usually implies time to themselves (you and him) to sort things out, regroup and come back fresh. In arguing, was it about past issues or little trivial things, like did he take the garbage out? I'm thinking that with a little patience, you might see him coming around again. ASK him what his break means.... does he want to see other people? Does he just need some time to himself? Remember the addage makes the heart grow fonder?" Also, take some time on this forum and READ other peoples stories about separation from one another... 8 out of 10 usually have good results depending on their situation. If he needs the break, what you don't want to do is start pressuring anything.. Ask HIM out on a casual date, coffee or something fun like mini-golf or whatever.... Keep things fun and stress-free... This is a toss up.... I hope that this helps you a little bit though... I'll stay tuned for more of your progress! Link to comment
AB38 Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 I agree with Trueheart, good job TH. First, I would ask yourself, what do you fight about?? Is it just trivial cannon fodder? Or are there real issues that are getting in the way? Take this time to reflect on that. Think about it and in a few weeks, like TH says, go for a fun stress free date. Then try and talk about what you fight about. I promise you this at least, you will both be able to communicate a lot better. You have the foundation for love....don't let arguments get in the way of that. Link to comment
DopeStar Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Link in sig, check it out.... Link to comment
ShuShu Fontana Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 That's all I really wanted when my ex and I broke up. I wanted a break. I was fresh out of college and back home with my parents, where I did NOT want to be, I didn't know where to start with my life, and it didn't help that my relationship was long distance. I was feeling a lot of pressure from life in general and I just needed some time to back away and collect myself. I never wanted to end things for good, but unfortunately, that's what happened. Talk to him about it. I wish my ex had. Ask all the questions you want to ask and make sure you understand everything. If he needs some time to pull his crap together, let him have it. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you, he just is a little overwhelmed by life at the moment. Link to comment
Rosa Posted June 12, 2004 Author Share Posted June 12, 2004 our fight were about defferences of opinion, we could not agree, we are both stubborn, specially him, he wants to be right all the time, and I don't mind being wrong, but like I tell him, everything is not black and white, ther is color in life.....we argue and just let it burn for a while, then we forget it, but we don't resolve our issues, adn so all these things kept building up, and I think he burst before me, and decided to let it go.... I think he is talking about a looong break, he mentioned something about being with other people and in the future "you never know, maybe we'll be that little old couple that has found each other after all this..." (that hurt) For me that meant a lot of things, i think he was trying to be "nice" on the let-go conversation... i know everyone says to keep busy, talk and do things with friends, etc....but after I've done all that, in the middle of the night, i still wake up, and miss him, i go out with friends, but the ride home, and the waking up is still hard...breakfast is not the same....I think I've lost him, I actually saw his mother in a wine taste I went to last night, and she was like, "you need to let it go, sometimes real love is learning how to let go, and live with the fact that you loved...He's not ready, and I don't think he'll never be..." you see his father cheated on his mom with a youger woman, who he eventually married and has a new family with, left her with 25 years of memories, and kids...so she doesn't believe in love, she says "nothing last for ever, there is no such thing as ever lasting love..." i was like...OUCH! but she knows him very well, I mean he left his 6yr girlfriend 2 years ago to be with me, I never gave him an ultimatum to leave her, he fell out of love for her way before I got there, is just the confort zone he was so used to, at least that's what he told me, anyway, I think he feels that he's been in relationships too long, and needs a break from it all, i'm realistic about the situation, I know he needs to TRY to be alone, i just doubt that it will be for a long time, he's a girl magnet! Link to comment
ShuShu Fontana Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 (that hurt) For me that meant a lot of things, i think he was trying to be "nice" on the let-go conversation... I know he needs to TRY to be alone, I just doubt that it will be for a long time, he's a girl magnet! You're probably right. And it sounds like he wants to keep you around as an option if he can't find anything else and that makes me angry. Don't let him keep you on the back burner. It also sounds like he's codependent. He needs to learn how to be alone, and not jump from relationship to relationship just to avoid being alone. He's got a lot of issues.. communication, self control...to deal with before he's in another relationship. Whether or not he can figure that out is another story. Breaking up is hard. You won't be able to make all the hurt go away at once. Yes, at the end of the day, you're still goign to hurt. Nights can be the wrost when all you have is your thoughts. But if you can manage to not think about it for even five minutes during the day, you've succeeded. Then that five minutes will turn into ten, then twenty.... it's still going to hurt, and I know it doesn't help to say that it will get better, but it will. Link to comment
tru8lue Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 WOW...this is insane...why does this sound EXACTLY like the relationship I just got out of... WOW... I know EXACTLY what you are going through...we always had those arguments...differences of opinions...tension always building up because someone always had to be right... This type of relationship is TOXIC...usually one person belittles the other person's opinion due to their own insecurity...they always have to be right because they are so insecure to be wrong... It's been 4 years since the OP posted this thread...hopefully you have moved on...you shouldn't be in a relationship like this...I too know see with a clear mind and not with a confused heart...she was very co-dependent...and I pushed too hard to save our relationship because of all the work I had already put into it...but unless the other person fixes their own issues.... We don't live forever...some relationships are just too much work...you can't fix other people's issues...life's too short to wait around for one person to change....when there are over a billion others in this world. Link to comment
deleted-account Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Most of the time, a "break" is the coward's way of breaking up Link to comment
RedBranchKnight Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 My interpretation of it is that a break means that you have 'semi-broken up'. What I mean by that is that youre not really boyfriend and girlfriend anymore but at the same time you shouldnt be seeing other people until the break is officially a break-up, because you both still may get back together. Hard to explain, but thats just my own definition of things. In reality I found that (as gatorclaws said) a break is really just an easier way of breaking up for the person initiating it. Link to comment
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