Can toddlers be sexually aware?

[Catdancer]

We often joke that Landon is a little Romeo with the ladies. He loves women. And goes bat crap crazy over the very pretty ones. He met a neighbor's sister, who has a killer body and she was wearing barely there shorts and a wisp of a half top. He looked her over from top to bottom, really looked at her exposed belly, his eyes got huge, he broke out in a big smile and grabbed for her. When she held him he put both hands on her boobs. lol The boob thing, I can attribute to breastfeeding, but the whole scenerio makes me wonder if, even at such a young age, if he can realize sexual allure. I'm by no means trying to sexualize my 14 month old baby. But he has seen his daddy I hug and kiss and play and romp and wrestle, because we do this with him as well. But he's never seen us being sexual, or touching each other sexually. So, I'm wondering if this is something that is felt. Even at such a young age, are they aware of sexy women who turn just about everyone on?

[Taikero]

I started kissing girls at like age 4 or 5, and I was fully sexually aware by age 9. It's starting younger and younger anymore.

 

Also, mommy = girl = love, so girl = love = good, so baby goes gaga over pretty girl.

 

Babies are also known to link removed.

[guynextdoor]

I doubt it cat, but lucky kid gets away with grabbing boobies!

[Catdancer]

I understand the mommy=girl=love. But his daddy spends almost as much time with him as I do. So daddy=man=love, but he has NEVER had a reaction to a man, even a really good looking man. He will sit back and stare at a man for a while, and then maybe he'll be social with him. But with women, he is crazy. lol His aunt and daddy took him to waffle house this morning and there was a really good looking biker chic there. He stared at her and talked to her the whole time. And when they took him out of the high chair, he went right up to her, smiled, and wanted her to hold him. But he ignores the men. How do you explain that? Or can you?

[Shortpants]

I agree with Taikero, I think it is more a male/female thing moreso than a sexy vs ugly thing. I did see a news program on the link that Taik provided too, they showed slides of average people, striking people, and not-so attractive people to babies and infants and monitored their brain reactions. The babies did react much more to the female pictures first and foremost, and the more striking features secondly.

 

Yup, mommy=female=love is a very good representation of the though process of babies and toddlers. Littlepants is 19 months and really detests any man that is not Daddy or Grandpa, but she warms up to females much, much quicker.

[Catdancer]

I doubt it cat, but lucky kid gets away with grabbing boobies!

 

Well, I have to admit that my son has grabbed more boobies in his 14 months of life, than most men have who are 30. And I have to say that he has had his hands on some great looking boobies. lol

[Shortpants]

I understand the mommy=girl=love. But his daddy spends almost as much time with him as I do. So daddy=man=love, but he has NEVER had a reaction to a man, even a really good looking man. He will sit back and stare at a man for a while, and then maybe he'll be social with him. But with women, he is crazy. lol His aunt and daddy took him to waffle house this morning and there was a really good looking biker chic there. He stared at her and talked to her the whole time. And when they took him out of the high chair, he went right up to her, smiled, and wanted her to hold him. But he ignores the men. How do you explain that? Or can you?

 

I see whre you are coming from, but no matter how good a father and how much time is spend with daddy, the bond between mother and child is so much stronger. We carried them for 9 months, they know our smell, the sound of our voice, the sounds our bodies make and know that mama means safety and love before they are even born. It really is an amazing thing.

[FarthestEdge]

Both my boys are the same Cat.

 

Even as toddlers, they'd get all coy and put on their cutest smiles for the pretty ones....the men and the less attractive ones were only interesting if they had food....

 

I think it's inherent. Those baby studies have been done for decades and the results are the same. We are hardwired to be attracted to a specific symmetry and balance.

[Catdancer]

Both my boys are the same Cat.

 

Even as toddlers, they'd get all coy and put on their cutest smiles for the pretty ones....the men and the less attractive ones were only interesting if they had food....

 

I think it's inherent. Those baby studies have been done for decades and the results are the same. We are hardwired to be attracted to a specific symmetry and balance.

 

ok...is it more so in boys that they will be more attracted to females? I find this all very interesting. Do girls have the exact same reaction? Do they "flirt" with pretty women or men"? I have no experience with little girl toddlers. In fact I have no experience at all with toddlers. lol

[Taikero]

I see whre you are coming from, but no matter how good a father and how much time is spend with daddy, the bond between mother and child is so much stronger. We carried them for 9 months, they know our smell, the sound of our voice, the sounds our bodies make and know that mama means safety and love before they are even born. It really is an amazing thing.

 

On top of that, consider that women are more empathetic, caring, gentle, attentive, and loving on average than men are (yay hormonal differences, can't argue with that), and that I would wager most of Landon's young life has been spent with Cat, and when you associate mommy with all this extra attention and caring, it translates to other women, ESPECIALLY when those other women hold him, "oooooh" and "ahhhhh" and "how cute!" over him, hugging and possibly even kissing him because he's so adorable, etc. etc. that all adds up. I'm sure if you breastfed him that plays a role too into why he'd be grabbing other women's boobies. He associates breasts with food, which is also comfort, warmth, giving, caring, etc.

 

Fathers and men in general are frankly at a disadvantage when it comes to emotional bonding early on because women see a baby and almost freak out at the cuteness and guys go, "Oh look a baby. Is it going to puke or pee on me?"

[BellaDonna]

he can realize sexual allure

 

I think toddlers are curious about everything -but I don't think they know what sexual allure is at age 2. If they are looking at someone's breasts it is because they stick out. If they grab at them it is likely because they grab everything and they may have gotten a reaction from grabbing a breast before (i.e. a yell, being told "no" , a laugh, etc). They will do anything for attention and a reaction.

 

My son likes to feel texture and pinch. A couple of times he has gone up to my arms and squeezed them- so if a tummy or other soft tissue is up for grabs, they may squeeze that too just to note the texture. Luckily he plays with playdough now (don't have to worry about him eating it anymore), so I am pinched far less.

 

Even at such a young age, are they aware of sexy women who turn just about everyone on?

 

 

I don't think they know what "sexy" is, but the do tend to know stereotypical beauty, as a more general concept. Even newborn infants have been shown to prefer symmetrical "attractive" faces over "average" or "unattractive" ones link removed

 

So if someone male or female is attractive, it may get their attention.

 

As far as being aware and curious about their own bodies, they do have some awareness at that age- but it is not in the adult context of sexuality.

[mfan]

I started kissing a girl in kindergarten and she kissed me back. Of course, we were just kissing on the cheek but that's what I thought "kissing" meant. Anyway, I kissed her all the time and I absolutely thought of that kind of happiness as different and much more ecstatic than normal regular happiness. So I believe I was sexually aware at age 4 or 5.

[Catdancer]

I started kissing a girl in kindergarten and she kissed me back. Of course, we were just kissing on the cheek but that's what I thought "kissing" meant. Anyway, I kissed her all the time and I absolutely thought of that kind of happiness as different and much more ecstatic than normal regular happiness. So I believe I was sexually aware at age 4 or 5.

 

See remember my first boy kiss was in nursery school, this was wayy before kindergarten, so I was 3 or 4.

 

hmm...I just find it interesting. We joke about his reaction to women all the time. It just seems that his "flirting" and actions are more like a male to female attraction with really pretty women. Example, at daycare, there are some older women there who take care of him and he loves to go to them and play. But he doesnt flirt or make his cute little faces at them and his eyes dont light up. But let one of the pretty girls come up to him and his whole demeanor changes.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Well, if you are to believe Freud... link removed

 

I remember my toddler son would stare, smile and put a death grip on Mr. Happy whenever he saw an attractive woman. Yeah, a little embarraskin'...

[BellaDonna]

I noticed personally that when one has a son, they tend to get comments like "He will be a heartbreaker" or "he is flirting". I don't think there is any harm in the statements but I do think people tend to project sexuality on the infant and toddler boys when really they are just:

 

"smiling"

 

or

 

"being social and happy" with other people, like any other baby. Women often speak in "motherese" which is a voice that appeals to babies due to their sensory and developmental stages, so it is no surprise it will illicit a smile.

 

The projection of sexuality actually starts when baby boys are in the womb and people describe seeing their penis on the ultrasound when they find out the sex of the baby. "Oh make no doubt about it- he is a boy", and stuff along those lines. -I've said some of these things myself.

 

It's just something I've become aware of since having a son. I'm not sure what the implications are, if any, but I do see it happen a lot.

[Catdancer]

I noticed personally that when one has a son, they tend to get comments like "He will be a heartbreaker" or "he is flirting". I don't think there is any harm in the statements but I do think people tend to project sexuality on the infant and toddler boys when really they are just:

 

"smiling"

 

or

 

"being social and happy" with other people, like any other baby.

 

It actually starts when baby boys are in the womb and people describe seeing their penis on the ultrasound when they find out the sex of the baby. "Oh make no doubt about it- he is a boy", and stuff along those lines.

 

It's just something I've become aware of since having a son. I'm not sure what the implications are, if any but I do see it a lot.

 

hmm...you do have a point Bella. So, do girls "flirt" too? I mean if it's just being a baby, then why dont we hear and see little girls flirting and such, as well?

[Catdancer]

Well, if you are to believe Freud... link removed

 

I remember my toddler son would stare, smile and put a death grip on Mr. Happy whenever he saw an attractive woman. Yeah, a little embarraskin'...

 

That site is very interesting. And does make you think.

 

Landon, as far as I know, hasnt grabbed Mr. Happy when seeing an attractive woman. Oh boy, does this mean that I have something to look forward to. ](*,)

[Shortpants]

Oh, they do. Littlepants will make moo-moo eyes at women and do her cutest smile and act all adorable... but when it's a little girl doing this to a female, it's not called "flirting", only when the little boys are doing this. I agree with BellaDonna, we as adults are projecting the sexual nature of what they are doing... they have no clue. They are just reacting to the pleasure centers in their brains.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I agree with Bella donna about projection - not good or bad, but it's there. Your very first words were:

 

We often joke that Landon is a little Romeo with the ladies.

 

You know what it's like when everyone laughs at something funny a toddler does - they don't get it, but they love the approval and warmth, and maybe it's a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy as well?

[sidehop]

I started kissing a girl in kindergarten and she kissed me back. Of course, we were just kissing on the cheek but that's what I thought "kissing" meant. Anyway, I kissed her all the time and I absolutely thought of that kind of happiness as different and much more ecstatic than normal regular happiness. So I believe I was sexually aware at age 4 or 5.

 

I did the same, right before the recess was over during kindergarten my friend dared me to kiss this girl on the cheek. I was about 4 and as boys we'd talk about who'd we marry (mostly hot singers and actress I remember). There were nothing sexual about it of course. Let alone we knew nothing about relationships or marriage. We just wanted them because they were hot!

 

There was an interesting show I watched once that had I'd say a six-month old baby sit in front of a large screen showing head shots of various people. They observed that when someone who is considered attractive (symmetrical face, etc) the baby responded positively and stared at the photos longer.

 

I don't think Landon is showing any sort of behavior sexually, I think that's what a lot of boys do and he's just more open towards the opposite sex. My daughter hangs out all the time with her nephews and cousins who are all boys and not sure if it has to do with that but she seems more open with boys and men in general. Even calls random strangers daddy sometimes.

[Catdancer]

Oh, they do. Littlepants will make moo-moo eyes at women and do her cutest smile and act all adorable... but when it's a little girl doing this to a female, it's not called "flirting", only when the little boys are doing this. I agree with BellaDonna, we as adults are projecting the sexual nature of what they are doing... they have no clue. They are just reacting to the pleasure centers in their brains.

 

Good point. Also, they are reacting to us. They get attention and fussed over when they make moo moo eyes and smile all cute. Good point about projecting onto them. hmmm..makes alot of sense.

[Taikero]

BellaDonna, masculinity and sexual aggressiveness and drive are pressed on males from a young age, at least in U.S. society (and I'm sure most other places, but I don't live there, so...). Innuendo, implications, suggestion, it's EVERYWHERE.

 

All it means is that by the time a young man is sexually aware, he's pretty much already got a lot of pressure on him from societal views. There is the expectation to perform, to impress, to outdo the other guy, to get to first/second/third base, etc. I think it's little wonder a number of young men have psychological problems with ED because society doesn't let up for a minute. "IF YOU AREN'T FABIO IN THE SACK, YOU FAIL AS A PERSON." That's basically what a young man hears constantly even before he can understand what's going on with his body.

[BellaDonna]

Even calls random strangers daddy sometimes.

 

My son does that and it is SO EMBARASSING- it makes him look like he is on a mission to find a father (as if he does not have one at home) But again- when I turn red when he does that it is only because I am projecting the sexual adult aspect into it. (he just thinks men are "daddies"- whereas adults realize that in order for a man to be a daddy-biologically- he had to have sex with someone- so when he yells out "daddy" to the random guy at the grocery store- it implies yucky things for me lol)

[Catdancer]

BellaDonna, masculinity and sexual aggressiveness and drive are pressed on males from a young age, at least in U.S. society (and I'm sure most other places, but I don't live there, so...). Innuendo, implications, suggestion, it's EVERYWHERE.

 

All it means is that by the time a young man is sexually aware, he's pretty much already got a lot of pressure on him from societal views. There is the expectation to perform, to impress, to outdo the other guy, to get to first/second/third base, etc. I think it's little wonder a number of young men have psychological problems with ED because society doesn't let up for a minute. "IF YOU AREN'T FABIO IN THE SACK, YOU FAIL AS A PERSON." That's basically what a young man hears constantly even before he can understand what's going on with his body.

 

Also a very good point. As Bella said, it starts in the womb, with the penis on the ultrasound. And it goes on from there. now that I think more on it, your point of pressing masculinity and virility on males if dead on.

[Catdancer]

I agree with Bella donna about projection - not good or bad, but it's there. Your very first words were:

 

 

 

You know what it's like when everyone laughs at something funny a toddler does - they don't get it, but they love the approval and warmth, and maybe it's a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy as well?

 

lol...I posted kind of the same thing at the same time. They are repsonding to us and our reactions. Very good point. And yes, I agree a self fulfilling prophecy.