My first post here, all welcome to read my story : )

[Half_Heartedly]

Hi guys,

 

this is my first post here, so just getting down my situation, hopefully it feels good to get it down on paper.

 

Well me and my Ex broke up a year ago, about April this year i went into no contact, pretty much i told her that i do not want her to call me as i have to find myself, heal concetrate on other aspects of my life, socialise again and pretty much get over her.

 

A month later she calls, meanwhile ive kept busy joined a dance class, do boxing and have let my work, health and study become my focus.

 

I took the 'what i cannot see does not hurt me' no contact and it was working, i was feeling good, not thinking of her as much as the pain of training felt better than the heartached.

 

So i picked up her call, this was 2 days ago - she says, i need to talk, something keeps coming up.

 

We talk, she tells me - and this girl was always usually brutally honest.

 

she says 'i broke up cos i started liking your flatmate' nothing happened but this inturn pushed me into another man, that i am not seeing. But now i have a boyfriend, and in the most magical, grounded mature relationship. The man im meant to be with, and oh by the way do you have the email address to my other Ex BF Matt?

 

Now to all you guys that think i deserved this in someway, i never cheated, hurt, was bad, was boring, she enjoyed the snuggling - My ex is young and found it hard to control herself when it came into being with me but had an eye for the guys, but the difference is i am a one girl, guy.

 

So i kept on going into no contact after the breakup, and would always have a soft spot so i always picked up when she rang, i am a social guy so it was not hard to fill in the time.

 

to 2 days ago she even sent me and email one of those forward emails with all her friend CCd, then friend requested me on facebook.

 

Now i feel like i could get back at her, tell her how great it is going and dancing with so many women every day and getting fit and enjoying my new found freedom, but i dont think she deserves to go through the pain i have had to endure, the pain i seem to use it as fire to run that extra mile on the treadmill.

 

But....

 

I feel as if i am dying, being destroyed bit by bit, but i need to leave part of my heart so oneday i can have that part to give to someone else.

 

So what do you think guys, has anyone had a similar experience? what should i do...she has a new bf but still calls, meets up and txts me. telling her not to contact me doesnt work. : (

 

Thanks and its good to be on here - oh yeah im 27 she is 22.

[NaturalJ]

I have a similar experience except I never went out with the girl and she still acted the way your ex does. The fact that I never went out with the girl in my story is because she wasn't loyal; much like your ex.

 

The best thing to do is to stay as far away from her as possible. If you want to be friends, be friends but don't let her in on your life. She doesn't deserve it, and every time I have ever let the girl I know back into my life she just disappointed me again and again with her immaturity and ignorance (not stupid just not empathetic and selfish).

 

Date someone around your own age, and just go on with life. Seriously dude, that girl is trouble (as my sister told me many times about the girl I know).

[Half_Heartedly]

it would be great to talk to a female to like a sister NaturalJ, my friends just seem to say lets go out, relax over some beers, it works to an extent.

 

It is hard to stop her from entering my life, sometime she would pop out at my house without an invite, crying, wanting pity and forgivness, looking like crap so i feel bad.

 

Constantly blaming me for hurting her - how does a guy hurt someone when she had done all the fence hopping and dumping.

 

NaturalJ, I have never heard that word loyalty, is it something humans are born with or is it there upbringing, this girl seems to have had a great upbrining, 3 sisters, mom and dad, nice house as compared to me, an immigrant, only child with a deceased father, but I would never harm anyone like this girl has zero’ed in to take me apart, break me down.

And your so right, you get sooo dissapointed, and that’s when I feel like a let down father lol.

 

It is too late now, a weak spot yesterday I added her to my facebook. Should I delete her now? I have a lot of girls that I communicate with on FB, give her a taste of her own medicine : )

[shuttlefish]

It is too late now, a weak spot yesterday I added her to my facebook. Should I delete her now? I have a lot of girls that I communicate with on FB, give her a taste of her own medicine : )

 

You won't win at that game I'm afraid. It only "works" if she really likes you and want to get back together and is prevented from doing so. Girls always win at the "make the other person jealous game". Why? Assuming they are reasonably pretty, then there are no shortage of men, players and whatnot, who are willing to hang around hoping for "scraps of action" to put it bluntly. It is more difficult for a guy to make that happen.

 

However, if it makes you feel good...do it. I can see why it would. It's just that you shouldn't let it dictate your actions.

 

From what I understand of your thread, I'm not really sure why you would want to have anything to do with her at all to be honest.

[misssmithviii]

You CAN keep her from entering your life. Don't answer her, don't give her the time of day. It seems like you're still having an emotional reaction to her and that's going to hinder your progress in cutting her off, so that's why I am strongly suggesting no contact (NC).

 

Delete her from fb not vindictively, but because you truly believe you'll be better off (which you will). She sounds like drama, drama, drama to me, and your life is perfectly fine without her. I used to have a friend who would play around with good guy's emotions and just cause drama, all the guys would see this sooner or later and drop her - and I dropped her the moment I saw how disgustingly she mistreated guys.

 

You don't need her, you are doing great without her... why even entertain the thought of her?

I enjoy not keeping people in my life who are negative influences, and it's a beautiful thing

[hater13]

my goodness! this girl seems to be unloading all her emotional baggage onto you!!

 

get away from her asap once you ignore someone for long enough they get the picture...eventually

[Half_Heartedly]

Thanks again for your help and information guys, i will get rid of her from my facebook, should i change my phone number too? maybe a bit too far

 

But, i know what you mean, women always seem to win the game so easy, i heard that the best revenge is having a good life, it seems that when i keep myself busy, get on track and start moving forward she seems to re-enter my life, whenever she feels like it and it sets me back ten fold, its like starting NC all over again.

 

Even though i have made progress on myself, lightyears ahead of a month ago, i feel like im back to the start, u guys are correct i dont want my actions and progress just to show off to her, but i think sometimes under it all i do.

 

Its like every guy she has been with i keep asking myself what do they have i dont have, but she always says im the only one she has ever loved, damn its so hard.

[Half_Heartedly]

oh just wanted to type my last correspondence to her my last text, it was about a month ago, i had downloaded a movie she really wanted, come to hers just to watch it with her,

 

we were trying to make the ‘friends thing’ work out. Her attitude had changed, she said i made her angry, i had done nothing, i had done everything to be what a friend is meant to be, nice and etc. In the movie ‘Adventureland’ one of the guys tells the other guy to never tell a girl about your ‘heartbreak or Ex’ if its a first date as it ruins the atmosphere of moving on.

 

I told her my boss told me this, as we would be constantly be working with heaps of girls and it was the last thing they want to hear, they want to hear a happy guy that has himself together, i told her so thats what i practised, and i had a great time and was always invited out to hang and party as i was trying to move on.

 

My Ex told me ‘that advice is wrong, girls take pitty on a guy that can pour his heart out, and the girl will probably f#$k the guy’

 

Funny thing is that how my Ex broke my heart was she told me she slept with a guy while i was on holiday, she felt sorry for him as he had broken up with his girlfriend. She said she found solace in him and slept with him in the backseat of his car, this while i was on a snowboarding trip’

 

So back to the story, we were watching this movie adventure land and after she says this, guess who calls. The dude....

 

Yep and that was the first time ive ever felt that i had to get out of there, it was like making a public speech or something, i got out of the house.

 

I sent her a txt

 

‘Sorry for being weird and leaving but, not enough time has passed for us to be friends yet, there is still too much feeling there from me. Please respect my request and do not call or contact me, as i have to sort myself out. I will contact you when im ready.

 

1 month later – 2 days ago, she calls! Im stupid i pickup...the merry-go round doesnt stop, then i hear about all these other guys. Man, i just need to be strong

[OccultFigurine]

Wow, this girl sounds like a mess.......girls do not sleep with guys out of pity-your ex has a really twisted view of the world

 

You sound like a normal caring guy, cut all contact with this girl and forget the idea of being friends, you're so much better without her

[Half_Heartedly]

hey thanks all, even reading your posts about this has been great. Its good to get it all out but i truly was feeling good until two days ago, i think even reading myself and my situation its like breaking no contact, replaying the scenario. But i will listen to u guys as the majority rules, im gonna delete her fb too the last thing i want to see is her fb status change to married lol, but i would prob not b shocked as wat ive gone thru so far, im glad shes his problem now I was listening to tony robbins ,he has been great in giving me positive decisions and cutting off the bad people out in your life. And to link the bad people with pain not pleasure. But i think i might stop posting on here as a sign of good faith to no contact