Fight.

[UserLain]

Ugh, i'm just stressed. Not sure the point of this thread. i got in a physical fight with my new step-brother. One that I started. It wasn't really a fight, I just pushed him rather hard against the door. I NEVER raise my hand to anyone. But I got mad enough this time. I haven't been in a physical fight since god knows when.

It was about closing the slider door so my cat doesnt run out to the pool area at night. She almost drowned in the pool two nights ago. She also got bitten one night out there by god knows what and it resulted in 1000$ worth of surgery. I say it needs to be closed so my cat doesnt get out. he says it's too hot and i should put her in the garage, yea the 90 degree garage in florida on a summer night. I close the door and walk away. he walks up and opens it again, I go and close it again saying how unless he wants to pay a 1000$ for another surgery he shouldn't open it. As i walk away he walks back up and opens it, calls me a cry baby. I ask him if he "wants to go" (god, how neanderthal, I don't think I've ever said that barboy phrase in my life lol) he gets this smug amused look in his face and then he hits the door.

 

It's broken up quick by the family.

 

I haven't been in a fight in forever. Just ugh. This kid really needed it. He cares about no-one but himself and if i hadnt lived with months of it i probably wouldnt have been so angry, I'm not the only one in this house who's fed-up either. But then again he called me a cry baby, i dont think it would have matter what else he did. Simple respect. I don't disrespect others, and I haven't dealt with such absurdly infuriating little turd in a long longg time. I'm used to being around real adults I suppose.

 

Yea..... vent done. Stressful feeling in my body, not. But oh well

[jengh]

Oooh, that infuriates me!!! Yeah, you shouldn't have shoved him, but it's your kitty If someone messed with Cairo's safety, there would be hell to pay.

 

Can you get a screen door?

[UserLain]

Yea, i just don't get people who have no concern for something like that or concern for others. This kid is the epitome of it, I could site rather amusing examples. But after so many things, none of it is amusing to me. Like waiting till someone walks away he'll switch your chair with his cuz its more comfortable while taking the best position on the patio. And literally you have to grab whatever food you can at the dinner table before he does, cuz if you don't he'll just try to eat it all regardless of who else might want some. To be honest this kid seems to have fallen from the "special-tree". I have no comprehension of people like him. But yea, screen door is a great idea. I'm not the one makes those decisions in the house, but I'll suggest it.

 

I call him a kid, but he's like 27 or something. He sucks at hygiene and laughs like ricky ricardo.

[jengh]

Oh god, that guy sounds like such a douche I lived with a guy like that a couple of years ago and we gave him the boot as soon as we could find another roommate (too bad you can't do that!!). I found Cairo sitting on my porch in a thunderstorm, shaking one night and flipped the eff out at Creeper (that's what we called him). Once, he asked "do you know where I can get some laundry detergent?" thinking I'd let him use mine... "Yeah, the store". Toolbag.

[sophie274]

I agree that a screen door is a great idea, but if kitty is interested in going outside, a screen door will be a small obstacle. My cats have absolutely destroyed my parents' screen door, and we just keep fixing it and they just keep shredding it again! Make sure to couple the screen door with you actually disciplining the cat to stay away from the door. Spray bottles are heaven-sent for that.

 

UserLain, your step-brother sounds like a real jerk. But how come you are living with him? And with the rest of your family? You look very young in your pic, but I thought I remembered that you were a bit older than you look? Sounds like the kind of situation you might be best of just getting away from. Having a toxic or even just unfriendly/unwelcoming home environment takes a huge toll on you, emotionally.

[alli]

When I first read that you shoved him I was going to suggest methods of self-control, until I read your description of his behavior & I kind of felt like shoving him myself.

 

I don't think there's much you can do but try to keep yourself as separate from him for the time being until you aren't under the same household. Try not to lose your temper, as tempting as it is. You want to maintain credibility, composure & maturity with your parent & stepparent, so when you have an issue with this guy that you can't handle completely yourself, they will see you for your reasonable-ness and do something about it, instead of brushing it off as "the boys fighting" and leave you to deal with him yourself.

 

Hope you don't have to stay in the same household with him for long.

[UserLain]

I agree that a screen door is a great idea, but if kitty is interested in going outside, a screen door will be a small obstacle. My cats have absolutely destroyed my parents' screen door, and we just keep fixing it and they just keep shredding it again! Make sure to couple the screen door with you actually disciplining the cat to stay away from the door. Spray bottles are heaven-sent for that.

 

Well I don't she's so adamant that she would do that luckily. There's a couple of windows in the living room that are literally floor-level and she doesn't scratch at the screen when they're open. Then again, she doesn't associate them with "freedom" like she does with the slider so you might have a point. I also do want her to enjoy the outside, during the day tho. She's been an indoor cat all her life and it was really nice to see her out enjoying herself now that she has a safe place to enjoy the outdoors. But yea, still, screen door is probably worth a shot.

 

UserLain, your step-brother sounds like a real jerk. But how come you are living with him? And with the rest of your family? You look very young in your pic, but I thought I remembered that you were a bit older than you look? Sounds like the kind of situation you might be best of just getting away from. Having a toxic or even just unfriendly/unwelcoming home environment takes a huge toll on you, emotionally.

 

Yea, i am older than I look. And yea I need to get out. I'm saving but things are coming very slowly with it unfortunately. I don't even have a car right now but I'm halfway there financially. And yea, you tend not to even know how emotionally toxic a place can be until you leave. I definitely feel like this place is terrible. Not as bad as the last place tho, I try to remember that so I don't get too negative. But there's plenty of reasons I should leave. I wrote a thread about it recently actually in the family area.

[UserLain]

When I first read that you shoved him I was going to suggest methods of self-control, until I read your description of his behavior & I kind of felt like shoving him myself.

 

This made me laugh, thanks Yea he's reallyy......irritating.

 

I don't think there's much you can do but try to keep yourself as separate from him for the time being until you aren't under the same household. Try not to lose your temper, as tempting as it is. You want to maintain credibility, composure & maturity with your parent & stepparent, so when you have an issue with this guy that you can't handle completely yourself, they will see you for your reasonable-ness and do something about it, instead of brushing it off as "the boys fighting" and leave you to deal with him yourself.

 

Yea I try to, I'm kind of like a non-resident in this house. I keep to myself mostly, just cuz i don't enjoy anyone here's company much. Plus I'm into my own things and no-one else is really that interested in them. Certain things tho I have to deal with, like the cat thing. I mean if i don't bad things can happen ya know? Plus he'll literally eat my food if i don't watch out for it. Like, right out of the fridge. Absurd.

Anyway, I think it's kind of the consensus in the house that he's a douche tho. No-one seemed to get on me about it. They calmed things down and I apologized for disrespecting my stepdads house. I even apologized to my step-brother (yuck, he's my step-brother now. They got married a week and a half ago. He was jokingly calling me "Brother, brother" at the wedding and i was kinda fake smiling and trying to hide my gag-reaction haha)..I just apologized cuz i really didn't feel like doing that was cool. Like i said i don't really do those kinds of things. Part of me hates apologizing cuz I know he'd never apologize because he never apologizes for anything. I think i also just wanted things to chill too, since I have to live in this house with him. But that part that hates having done it isn't that strong. I did feel bad about doing something like shoving a person.

But i also know, that when nothing else works, what else do you do? He would have gotten up 5 or 10 times to re-open that door. Usually that's how he gets his way, and people let him. It always pisses me off when I watch the parents let him. I just wanna be like F-this, been feelin that way for a damn long time really. I know he'll do what he can get away with. He's even smug about it and seems to get a kick out of pissing people off sometimes. That smug face was the face I saw when i finally decided it was time to give him a shove. Eh...

 

 

You're all right about leaving. God I hope when I move out I'm never so weak as to allow the wrong people to live with. Home is sanctuary. It needs to be your place of peace and well-being. I've lived long enough without a home like that. I always think I'll give anyone the boot who doesn't have proper respect in my own home. The concept of accepting the things I have in my life just makes me think, once I'm independent.....I just think I'd kick someone out onto the streets if i need to. Have no tolerance for certain kinds of things. I hope I will and not feel guilty. I want a healthy home.

[sophie274]

Yea, i am older than I look. And yea I need to get out. I'm saving but things are coming very slowly with it unfortunately. I don't even have a car right now but I'm halfway there financially. And yea, you tend not to even know how emotionally toxic a place can be until you leave. I definitely feel like this place is terrible. Not as bad as the last place tho, I try to remember that so I don't get too negative. But there's plenty of reasons I should leave. I wrote a thread about it recently actually in the family area.

 

Is he your step-brother-in-law then (the husband of your stepsister)? Not that it matters, I'm just curious!

 

I don't quite have time to check out your previous thread right now, but my advice about dealing with the place since sounds like you just have to stick it out for a few months (and congrats being half-way there!) would be to basically create your own oasis inside the house where you can feel like you've escaped all the madness.

 

Make your room awesome - whatever that means to you. Make it a place that you look forward to spending time in and that feels like a soothing refuge.

Try some meditation or yoga if that's something you're open to. I do find that meditation, yoga and breathing exercise help release stress and just sort of allow me to escape whatever is bothering me for a little while.

Spend time outside the house when you can - do you have a nice library or park nearby?

And think positive that you are moving towards your goal, so that when your step-brother gets on your last nerve you can just breathe deeply and focus on the prize of moving out and just not get into it with him.