fleeting moments of my day always lead back to him...

[jazzbarrett]

how does one avoid this?

 

i am more busy now than i have ever been. i am more happy now as well. i love my new life, but there are times (like 3-4 times a day) throughout the day when all thoughts lead to him. it could be the drive to work in the morning, or while running an errand, or when i come home and realize the house is empty. it's more annoying than anything. because i don't want to think about him and i don't know why my thoughts meander to him. i know what a jerk he is. i am aware that he doesn't deserve me and i am a better person without him. do any of you have any advice or coping methods to deal with this? i hate being in the car alone because songs will come up on the radio that will remind me of him and then i just find myself angry. so, these wandering thoughts do not lead me to be sad or depressed or even reminisce, i am just angry and annoyed. how to deal?

[kelly155]

I'm on the same page as you. I don't think there is really anything we can do to remove our thoughts about the ex. Just keep with your routine of being busy. I just think with time, the thoughts will slowly fade.

[regular joe]

It's been a year now for me and things still remind me of her and bring my mind back to thoughts of her. It is normal.

[jenmar]

I am in the same boat as you.

I wish we had an easy answer.. have you tried thought stopping?

another poster on these boards mentioned it- I am sure if I would stick to it, it would work-

google thought stopping and see if that helps.

 

if not, I am sure with time it will fade.. heck there are times I think of an ex from a couple years ago.. not often. maybe once a month or so- I think its just how life is. when you have special moments with someoen you take them with you forever.

[warmpandacola]

for me, it's been a month and a half now and i've kept in contact too so there are things he and i have done that have made this process even more difficult. him being a jerk and me being emotional. i've also been a lot busier. i keep myself busy to get my mind off of things and to surround myself with uplifting things. there is not much you can do other then continue to stay motivated and do everything you can to have a positive outlook and keep yourself healthy and active. there are gonna be those annoying moments where they are going to be on your mind and you want them out. i feel like those moments are practically all day long for me and sometimes i space out with him on my mind and then when i finally when i get home at the end of the day having to sleep in an empty bed is the worst. but i wake up each morning and work out and do things to pump me up and brighten my day. if i cry at night and go through those moments of agony and even sometimes cry because i know sometimes i'm in denial... at the end i remind myself that it's going to be okay and in time things will be different. i'm still loved and i'm not alone even if i feel that way.

 

just keep on pushing through it. it's never easy but it will get better in time.

[Live-N-Learn]

I think about her all the time even though I know she is never coming back. It sucks... there will always be things that trigger her in my mind. I just hope they become less and less over time.

[jazzbarrett]

thank you everyone. it gets better and seems to continue getting better. i just hate that i still end up thinking of him when i know i really can't stand him and am quite happy he is gone. i wonder if it has anything to do with our brain getting used to the current situation...i mean, if you're with someone for so many years, i can only assume your brain is used to processing information about that person. so now, it just feels as if i am on repeat or shuffle with memories of him. it's difficult NOT to get angry because i am not an angry person and i know such negative thoughts are quite cancerous. i really hate the whole "it takes time" thing. i don't even cry anymore and haven't since the end of february. but all these moments just make me yell "what a jerk" along with other expletives. grrr...