Seraphim Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 image removed This is the cemetery he is in. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 The other thing that I think of that is really odd is that,yes, I have given birth to 2 children, I just do not have one of them. It felt like regular labour in every sense. It hurt the same, I had contractions the same,my water broke the same...you were dead though. Link to comment
Firiel Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 As heartbreaking as your story of Liam is, I just want you to know how touching it is that you loved him so much even though you were never given the opportunity to meet him in this life. You are a wonderful mother! 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Thank you Firiel, that is the greatest compliment I could ever get. Link to comment
sherryberrypie Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 I agree. You are such a wonderful mother. It's heartbreaking to think of a woman labouring in an ER knowing full well that there is no child at the end of it. I'm so sorry you were treated so insensitively. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 21, 2011 Author Share Posted May 21, 2011 It is hard to remember how shell shocked I was after you died. I mean it literally, for about an entire week all I could see when I was awake was flashbacks of your poor little body. Your tiny weenie hand with the perfect fingers,relaxed palm up. Your long long legs also relaxed in death. How you had your father's nose. How you had your brother's hands. How you were you. When I was awake I mostly cried. I realized 2 days later I was still in my blood stained clothes and my hands still had my blood on them. How messed up do you have to be that that does not register? How did I not notice for 2 days? When I did clean myself up and have a shower and look in the mirror my eyes were so puffy they looked like something an alien would have and the skin was peeling and starting to bleed I guess from all my crying when I was actually awake. I remember walking to the car from the hospital. Yes, walk to the car. I had to use my own steam to get there, barely noticing the stares of people because I was covered in blood and my hair was uncombed and the look on my face and in my eyes was mindlessly vacant. Like this shell was walking but I was not there. I was with you. Liam Gabriel Norman~ B May 22,2007~ D May 22 2007 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 I love you my baby. Big hugs and kisses from mommy and your brother. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Well little man at Mass today your big brother lit a candle for you. We have decided to start a new tradition where on the day you died we will celebrate your life in heaven on this day and we will light your funeral candle so you can join us for the meals on your special day. Your nana called to remember you and your dad remembered you this morning and your brother and I remember you regularly. Link to comment
Firiel Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 Thinking about you and your family today, Victoria! I'm sending some prayers your way. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Thinking about you and your family today, Victoria! I'm sending some prayers your way. Thank you so much!! That I am sure will help us to see this as a blessing day and not a sad one. For really, my baby is not sad so I should not be either. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 4, 2011 Author Share Posted June 4, 2011 Hello baby boy, look after your new little brother or sister who has come to join you. You are all loved. Love Mommy. Link to comment
sherryberrypie Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Most loved angels in heaven Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 4, 2011 Author Share Posted June 4, 2011 They are for sure Sherry, my 4 angels. There is this book and it is entitled....We were going to have a baby but we had an angel instead. I might buy it. The other book is called Angels in the Water...and it is a discussion between a pre born baby and it's angel. They talk about "Mother" and the baby thinks "mother" is a place and the angel explains that mother is far more than a place. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Hey my baby, we went to see you at the cemetery when we were home a few weeks ago. Kisses, hugs and cuddles. Love mom. Link to comment
replytome Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 My mother had a baby when she was 42 years old... are you sure you are unable to? Have you had your menopause yet? I know there are risks involved, two years before so when she was 40 yrs old she had an abortion because the baby died, i think. She's kept it all secret, because both babies weren't with my dad. this was 10 years ago btw. The kid she did have at 42 is now a very healthy, yet extremely spoilt, kid. 10 years old. I have to discipline him cos no one else does. I'm the only one he respects. (By discipline I mean not saying YES to EVERYTHING, and show him that I'm the leader, he's the follower). Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 No, I can't have more kids. I just had my 4th miscarriage 3 weeks ago. I had a miscarriage 4 years ago at 16 weeks. My uterus is too damaged by tumours to have another baby. 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Hello my dear baby, We are going home soon. I want to stop and see you this time. Next month would have been your 4th birthday. Your brother is at ease about your passing now. He always smiles when we talk about you. Sometimes he asks what you would be doing now. You would be going to school now and hanging out with your big brother. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 Hey my boy, Your dad has gone off to a far away place for a little while. He misses you I am sure. I remembered the other day, because your face flashed into my head suddenly, that you looked like your dad. You had your dad's nose and the shape of his head. It is strange sometimes I still get the odd flash back of you. I think you would have been bigger than your brother. You just seemed that to me. I know you were calmer than your brother, he was so wild in utero. You were so fluid and graceful. Mind you my life was completely different when I was pregnant with you. Your dad was not home, he was gone a lot. I was home and confined to bed so I was much calmer, in a sense anyway. When I was pregnant with your big brother I was been harrassed at work and the manager was a true psycho. He was trying to fire me because I was pregnant, and calling me nasty names when no one else could hear. I would go home crying daily, till I could take it no more. I went to the owner of the business and told him I was suing him if that man was there when I came to work the next day. Your dad was also a right off at the time and so self absorbed. It is no wonder your poor brother was born the way he is. All the stress hormones I had floating around my body worked over his poor fetal brain. Your beginning was much better. Your dad also wanted you, but not your brother. So I wonder if you would be like him or different. Either way you both are and would be really loved and your big brother would be wild about you. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 I also have to come and see you before it snows and before it snows too much because the cemetery gets really filled up with snow and it totally buries your little place till Spring. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Wow, this month would have been your 4th birthday. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Oh wow. I didn’t realize it had been that long already. *hugs* 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Yeah, it is hard to believe my little angel would be 4! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 The pain of it is not as raw as it used to be and I can think of you son with happiness. I have come to a point of acceptance and I love you for your brief life. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 26, 2011 Author Share Posted November 26, 2011 Hey baby man. Your birthday came and went and mom was not upset this time. I guess this is progress. I am much better than I used to be and I have accepted you are gone. I used to think I would never crawl out of the unbelievable grief I had, but I have, in my own time and in my own way. So happy belated birthday little man!! We will be bringing your funeral candle home for Christmas so you can be there too. Link to comment
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