GenoGeno Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 Soo the ex starts talking to me and tells me shes going out yada yada yada. She's going out with some guy who left her at the club last time...so i said if it happens again please call me because even tough I'm mad at her for breaking up with me i still care about her safety. Sure enough at 1:30 in the morning she calls and says yeah he left again. We talk for a bit then she says okay I'm getting in the cab but I'm going to call you in ten minutes. So ten minutes goes by and she calls back to talk to me from her bed. Just normal chit chat but i find every time I talk to her...she always has to bring up guys...it's like she's doing this just to piss me off or get a rise out of it...I don't understand why...First she says who did you go snowboarding with today? and I'm like just a friend and she's like who....and I said my buddy **** and she's like oh I like him...I'd date him for sure! and I'm kind of like uhh okay "Haha" not to start a fight....and then about 20 minutes later she's like I'm with a guy right now in my bedroom...and I'm like what...and shes like I'm just joking. It's like what the hell is this...it's almost as if she is TRYING to make me feel upset for all these girls i talked to when we were going out. It just seems kind of cruel actually... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont know Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 Sounds like she wants to get a rise out of you just to know that you still love her. I'm guessing its kind of a validation for her? If I were you, I would just put on full NC because if you keep talking to her you will only feel worse and she will only feel better. I know it sucks to hear that, and I understand that is not what you want to hear because I feel the exact same way. I'm glad i went NC with my ex, even though it pains me every single day, just because of the fact that I would feel a million times worse if she started talking to me about other guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 Did you break up with her? Perhaps she does feel wronged by you having a lot of female friends while you were together and is indeed trying to get back at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 ...it's almost as if she is TRYING to make me feel upset for all these girls i talked to when we were going out. It just seems kind of cruel actually... Payback. She is trying to make you jealous, mess with your head. Did you cheat on her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asthesparrow Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 Don't speak to her. Immature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 She's clearly trying to make you jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 No she broke up with me 2 months ago. I've asked her to reconsider so much but she always says no. I honestly think it's like to get a rise out of me like she's having fun doing this to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauxly Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I honestly think it's like to get a rise out of me like she's having fun doing this to me. Yeah. It is just tacky. Even if she is moving on, she knows how you feel about her. If she had a graceful bone in her body and she actually valued your friendship, she'd keep her comments about other men to herself. If you actually want to be friends with this woman, you need to tell her to shut it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 No she broke up with me 2 months ago. I've asked her to reconsider so much but she always says no. I honestly think it's like to get a rise out of me like she's having fun doing this to me. Yeah, of course she's having fun doing this. I can hear it through the text. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoopydog Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 Don't give her the reaction she is looking for, she will use that to further validate herself for splitting up with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 No I'm really not saying one more word to her. I mean i was the one to care and say please call me because i worry about your safety and she does and just makes me try to feel bad it's so ridiculous because she is a very nice girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 Stop taking the bait. She'll continue to play with your emotions for as long as you allow it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBroken Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 I thought you were on NC with her? This is why you NEED to be NC. Tell this girl to get off your back, date her guys and leave yo ualone....you are much better then dealing with her "in the face" behaviour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 27, 2010 Author Share Posted April 27, 2010 Do you think it means anything that she's starting to comment on my facebook page a lot again? I make status and she'll laugh at them or like them. She's done it quite a bit recently, i have no idea why... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OccultFigurine Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 I agree with iBroken.....NC is the only way you can avoid all this nonsense....there are probably a few reasons why she's doing it and all of them are bad for your healing. Seriously, I think you'd be doing yourself a huge favour going NC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrenchFries Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 Do you think it means anything that she's starting to comment on my facebook page a lot again? I make status and she'll laugh at them or like them. She's done it quite a bit recently, i have no idea why... Neither do we. I have no idea why you continue to let her torture you. This is not NC. No, not at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 27, 2010 Author Share Posted April 27, 2010 I continue to let her torture me because deep down she is not a bad girl. I know i put her through hell and back and as much as I want to go NC with her. I feel really bad just ignoring her. Maybe I'm to soft to peoples feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrenchFries Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 Ok Geno. Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live-N-Learn Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 I continue to let her torture me because deep down she is not a bad girl. I know i put her through hell and back and as much as I want to go NC with her. I feel really bad just ignoring her. Maybe I'm to soft to peoples feelings. Geno my friend, you are doing everything wrong to heal and have any real chance of getting back. You have to let go and move on man. Only then we you be attractive to her again. she is playing you like a fool and is daily losing respect for you cuz you can't do what is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 Well I don't contact her ever anymore. So that's a start and I honestly think I just kind of keep talking to her is because before I got her back by being this way. Just over all nice. I'm slowly drifting though, I'm starting not to care as much. I just kind of went the hard way with it all but it's slowly getting better. Soon I probably won't care at all and will feel no need to talk to her. Can't wait until I get to that! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnTheMan Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 I'm gonna have to agree with everyone else's judgement here. I have had the very same problem as you; i believe my ex is good at heart and I love her to death. I feel terrible ignoring her txts or attempts to reach me, even though I already told her i would do exactly that. Its very hard. The pain will still be there. And you will miss her more. I am 10 months into my breakup, but stayed in contact with my ex for around 7 months which definitely slowed my healing. The whole time i was hopeful and was her doormat, because we had such a good thing and she was so "kind" to me. I later find out she has been indeed seeing the guy she left me for despite her lies. Basically, don't fall for the game. I vote to go for full NC. If you feel the need to tell her your going to go that then do so. State you want more, and she doesn't, so you need to move on. Everytime she tries to reach you, cause she will, write on here instead of taking the bait. Trust me, its hard, and everytime she'll contact you it will suck, but its the only way to find her true intentions and to begin healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnTheMan Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 i forgot to mention. if a recon. is going to be attempted, then the only time you should actually respond to her is when your sure that she wants that. nothing short of "lets talk about us" or "lets try again." i have made the mistake of breaking NC before when my ex had her mom txt me or asked to see me. most recently, she asked to see me before she moves out of town. that is extremely hard to not respond to. i wanted to marry my ex; if i can not respond to this BS, so can you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 28, 2010 Author Share Posted April 28, 2010 Yeahh that's a little enlightening to know...because I really wanted to marry this girl too. And she left me with the absolute heart crusher words of...I'm sorry I have to do this...but do you know the happiest time ever was when you said you eventually wanted to marry me? Like WAY TO MESS WITH MY HEAD! haha Ex's are evil! I think I am going to ignore her next call or text though for the first time ever. I have a feeling it will feel good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sphx26 Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 Having gone through a breakup myself, I'd say that I agree with what everyone else here says. Do the NC and stick to it. It's never a good idea to give your exes the privilege of torturing you.I tried that and end up prolonging the healing process. Remember, you broke up for a reason, so let it stay that way and let yourself heal. Hang in there, man. You are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnTheMan Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 it wont. trust me. answering is instant gratification. BUT IT IS THE ONLY WAY. i had my ex lie to me and make me seem like the piece of crap for even questioning whether she was seeing someone else. it was only 2 wks into my last NC msg to her that the pics surfaced and the 100% confirm was in my face. i think one of the hardest parts is only remembering them as they were when you WERE together. the things they do and how they act after are different. you are no longer an insider and the rules have changed. their actions speak louder than their words. what helps me stay NC is knowing, that if they really wanted to try again... they would come find you. they would email or call you. they would TRY. GO NC. write here eveytime you feel the urge to respond or intitiate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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