ex stopping access to daughter STILL!

[Leon91]

me and my ex have now been on and off since last summer, 5 years in total.

 

but now we have split she refuses any contact at all for me and my daughter!

i have been to my solicitors, we have given her 7 days to respond to his letter asking to arrange contact, if not we go to court.

 

now.. i spoke to my ex and do you know what her excuses were?

 

1. you hurt me, you said you loved your daughter like you said you loved me ( umm hang on, shes my flesh and blood your her mother, ain the same! )

 

if you can hurt me you can hurt your daughter

( what so because were split, thats reason to justify banning me from my daughter )

 

2. I dont want any legal **** and i told you if you went legal you couldnt see her!

 

( but, if you hadnt had been stopping me for weeks/months at a time, i wouldnt have to seek legal advice! )

 

If she acted the mother she says she is, she would realise we are both parents and our daughter has a right to see her dad!!

all she has to do is say: so and so day... so and so time...

 

NOT HARD

 

shes digging a deeper hole by stopping me whilst she is in the knowledge of the legal matters now!

 

there really isnt any winning, she changed her email, blocked me from FB and dosnt answer any calls/txts ( if her phone is on )

 

i have tried knocking the door, no answer.. just dead ends and stress!

 

i have no intent on getting back together, this is too far, shes using a child to hurt me!

 

just dont know what to do now. im in for a 3 month + wait now to see my daughter unless she lets me in the mean time!

 

](*,)

[mgirl]

umm hang on, shes my flesh and blood your her mother, ain the same

 

Uhm, well, that's not a very nice attitude. No wonder she's feeling so contemptious... Maybe you should try giving her some respect and you might get somewhere.

[Leon91]

respect? so i have to respect HER after she lied about three pregnancies, constantly keeps my child away, and incase u think i said that to herm wrong..

 

thts just my thoughts.. iv been as friendly and as compromising as i can be!

please dont tell me your one of these " mother knows best no matter what " people

 

 

because: she has on numerous times threatend to kill my baby coz of arguments we have had, she has let my baby fall off a sofa! she has not bathed her or fed her in a week + at a time.. forgets to feed her and change her.. she is a potential RISK!

 

thats why im fighting to get my daughter here! my ex will gladly go a week without even bathing herself! and stay in bed in the same clothes for days at a time.

 

but i bite my tongue and am noting but friendly to her!

only the solicitor i really tell what she is like. and there concerned too!

 

so respect, think about this.. put yourself if my shoes.. does she deserve respect for being like this.. simply.. NO..

 

i would respect her if she could think of her daughter first!

[sidehop]

What she's doing is not fair and it's only going to backfire on her when you go to the court. I would keep all documents and anything to show that you've been trying to see your daughter including how she's ignoring your request.

 

I don't know about the law there but in the US she can't do that legally unless there's a court order.

[FreedomRing]

Totally disagree with Mgirl.

 

Leon, you have exactly the right attitude here. Unfortunately this type of ridiculous behavior is very common with immature moms when relationships end. Yes, your daughter is the one you should focus on, NOT the mom..as she IS NO RELATION to you. Any "woman" or "mother" that would keep a child away from the other parent, simply bc the other parent doesnt want to be with them anymore, is insanely immature.

 

Follow thru with the legal procedures. You have EVERY RIGHT to. I know it must be painful to be kept away from your daughter, but eventually, when you finally get your court orders, you can attempt to work your way back in.

 

Remember this, the only person your ex is really hurting by her poor behavior in the end, is your daughter. Over time, the truth will come out, and your daughter will be able to see for herself....just hang in there.

[OccultFigurine]

Hi Leon

 

I think you have to separate your feelings of anger towards your ex from your love and concern for your daughter.

 

If a mother is'nt feeding and bathing a child for a week (a week? are you sure this is accurate?) then you have grounds to go to Social Services if you do have genuine concerns over her safety and wellbeing.

 

I would keep going down the legal route for access, I don't think theres much else you can do really.

[Blue Skittles]

This is not right. I think it is very important for a daughter to at least have some regular contact with the father, even if it is only a couple times a month, its important. It sucks you have to go through all this legal crap to get there but honestly, its probably better that you do because then a plan will be set in place and she will have to stick to it. I hope everything works out and you get to see your daughter again. Hopefully soon your ex will get over her anger and be able to work with you as a parenting team.

[catfeeder]

The ex might be the worst person who's walked the planet, but if you don't learn how to do business with her without insulting her, then this is exactly what the outcome will continue to be. I hope you've got a lot of money to spend on lawyers.

[Leon91]

Money is no issue, even if i were to sell everything i owned, then so be it.

 

Shes been in littlle contact today..

 

i went out to take some faulty good back

she found out a girl whom she knows likes me was offering to take me

and has since said.. she wants to talk to me etc etc about her feelings..

 

i have said that when im in shes more than welcome to call and talk

it might be good that she wants to talk and we might even be able to sort access out.

 

im willing to work WITH her.. but im just as willing to work through the legal path if i need to, to be honest ill keep both roads open because you never know!

 

i think shes busy at the moment as i have text her saying im home and i have had nothing back yet, ill leave it go for a while now see if she replys..

 

just hope things work out now.

 

 

** as soon as she knew about me going out with somebody.. she offered to let me see nevaeh there and then if i cancelled my day, now i said no..

because. im not being week, i dont want her thinking she can just stop me going out and playing games with me.. so i said no, but i can on monday if your free and she said she wants to talk to me about stuff so as i said ill see what happens, if anything! **

[Ms Darcy]

Boy, you are young to have a daughter. How old is your ex?

[Leon91]

shes 18 also.

[Ms Darcy]

I think you both could use a mediator. Please don't have any more kids ... at least not for a long long time.

[Leon91]

im not sure how to take that?

would appear to be an insult!

 

mediation may or may not work. ill give it all a go.. but as regards to children wetha i have 1 or 10, i will be the best father i can!

[Ms Darcy]

im not sure how to take that?

would appear to be an insult!

 

mediation may or may not work. ill give it all a go.. but as regards to children wetha i have 1 or 10, i will be the best father i can!

 

I don't mean it to be an insult, I just think in order to avoid similar drama it's not wise to have 10 kids.