I just found out why else i got dumped. oh boy does it ever end

[flyguy23]

so im 27 shes 23. had a 2 plus year relationship. we broke up over a month ago but just found out another reason she broke up with me was because i didnt propose to her. how am i supposed to know to do that? i mean i did wanna marry her but not right now. also, I live with my mom and dad and i pay part of the mortgage. I cant just leave the house. we all chip in. and she said she didnt wanna live in my house if we got married with my family. so now ive been blaming myself for us buying the house. but we bought it before i met her. i guess what im trying to say is i feel like i will have a hard time meeting someone and settling down with them because i have to pay for this house. what to do? this is such a hard situation. i feel like a girl wont wanna be with me because she'll want our own place and what not.

[shessofly]

don't beat yourself over that - YOU will know when YOU are ready to propose and not a moment sooner. that's not your problem, that you weren't in the exact same place she wanted you to be.

[flyguy23]

thanks! shessofly...i really need to stop beating myself up over tthings. im blaming myself cuz i keep thinkin if i had my own place we would still be together. ive been blaming myself thinking if i never took this new job in a different down we wouldve still been together. it just sucks. i was only trying to better myself. sometimes i wish i could go back to my old job because we would only be ten minutes away from one another. she was all for it when i took it and then she blamed me when i did take it. sometimes i miss the good old days. getting out of work, going straight to her house and spending the night there. but if two people really truly did love each other i guess they would find a way right? i just need to stop blaming myself for the breakup.

[Sanesoul]

You'll kill yourself over the "what-ifs".

 

The fact is, she wasn't the girl for you and your lucky to find out sooner than later.

 

You will find a girl you mesh with.

[misssmithviii]

I agree with Insane Heart, you need to find a girl you mesh with.

 

Smile and be happier that you have the opportunity to find that girl who won't be expecting things from you that you don't even know, a girl who will be open with you and who won't hold things against you when you really didn't even do anything wrong.

 

All will go well, no worries.

[veneratio]

but if two people really truly did love each other i guess they would find a way right?

 

You said it. No ifs, ands, buts, or whatever else. If two people love each other, they're going to make it work. No matter what. I know it sucks, but you're better off having the opportunity to meet someone who will make sacrifices and meet you halfway. That includes voicing ones desires..feelings..thoughts. Don't beat yourself up for her mistakes.

[thejigsup]

I feel for you, but finding a girl who wants to spend her married years living with your parents will be a little hard. You are committed to that house, so you can't just walk away from it. It seems you have painted yourself into a corner with this one.

[Capricorn3]

I feel for you, but finding a girl who wants to spend her married years living with your parents will be a little hard. You are committed to that house, so you can't just walk away from it. It seems you have painted yourself into a corner with this one.

I was thinking the same thing. I don't think many women will be willing or eager to get married and then live with his parents in their home (I know I wouldn't), and I don't think the parents would be very keen on it either. I don't think she's being entirely unreasonable in that sense.

[blossom88]

to be honest i agree with the jigisup and Capricorn3. even though it was not your fault that you bought the house its a catch 22 situation. this woman wanted the whole deal with you (man and wife plus white picket fence). I suppose waiting until you completed paying off the mortgage plus living with your parents threw her for a loop. Now besides the house and mortgage is there another reason you wanted to wait for a while until marrying? did she have an idea of the time line you had in mind for marrying?

[Blackey]

Its a tough one, not too many girls would like to live with your parents, and you can not blame them. My ex has left her husband because he did not want to move out of his parents house to live by themselves.

In one point or another you will have to move out, you can not support your parents house for all of your life, sometime you will just have to start supporting yourself and your futurewife and your new family, and unless you are rich, it is hard to do, so sooner or later you will have to choose.

I say when you will find the new love of her life, after a while when it gets serious talk to her about it, do not force her to live in the house together with your parents, if she is ok with that then ok, but if not try to find a solution, even if it is unpleasnt, otherwise you will not be able to build a better futureshop with your future soulmate.

Can't you sell the house and let your parents move to an apartment or something? Im sure that they will be happy for your, and if its only your mom and your dad and nobody else, they do not need a big place, think about it.

Im sorry to go really rough on you, but this is the truth, i know that because my ex left her husband because he didnt want to move out of his parents house, and she also got 2 friends who did they same, and i heard of similar cases from other people, and you can not really blame them, they want to start a family, how many girls/women from here (Enotalone) would be willing to live with the guys parents here?