hes 21, Im 25; is there a future?

[beachbunnie]

My current boyfriend is four years younger than me, and after hearing advice from others, Im starting to wonder if its such a good idea to get involved with such a younger guy. Normally I wouldnt, but hes not like most guys his age.

 

1. He was never one to party much, and he's already working ( no longer in college) and although hes not making the big bucks just yet, if he goes back to school he could make a good living...although I will probably end up the bread winner/ with the more prestigious job, he doesnt seem to mind.

 

2. He's marriage-minded. He wants children fairly soon ( within the next 2-3 yrs) as do I.

 

3. He's been in serious relationships before.

 

4. His parents have the same age gap ( his mom is 4 years older than his dad)...not really relevant but he seems to like this bit of info!

 

Yet my friends have warned me against guys that are that much younger, and how it just spells disaster. That he will eventually leave me for a pretty young thing ( though Ive aged gracefully and look younger than him! LOL) Anybody have any advice?

[Fudgie]

4 years isn't really that big of a gap to worry about. It will seem even smaller as you get older together.

 

Usually, 4 year gaps matter when the people are in their teens...not so much as you get into the 20s. I'd say when you're both 25+, it's going to disappear completely. You really won't notice it.

(that's what's nice about small age gaps btw. My boyfriend will always look older because he's 37 years older...but no one is going to know the gap when they look at you two!)

 

We are great together and you know, I think if we can get along, then you most certainly will do okay too!

 

It sounds like he's a mature guy for his age...like you said, he's not into parties and he's working. Very good sign. It sounds like you really like him. Also, the fact that he likes to bring up the fact that his parents have a similar age gap shows that he's just fine and dandy with your age gap.

 

Hope this helps!

[sidehop]

Don't listen to your friends...who are they to judge who you should date? Only you know him well enough I'm sure to decide that.

 

Besides, I don't see how a four year age gap is going to spell a disaster. Are they jealous perhaps?

 

My advice, go with your heart, he sounds like a decent man who wants a stable relationship and a family with secure income. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[beachbunnie]

thanks! thats what I thought, but for some reason of another, my friends frown upon it and didnt take us seriously the minute they found out his age.

 

But what you said totally makes sense

[beachbunnie]

Yea, I would never dump him based on other people's thoughts, I just wanted to know Im not the crazy one! LOL oh and Im not sure if they're jealous or not..they are single and very picky though.

[Fudgie]

I've heard the "no younger guys" thing around with women but I really don't think it applies to you.

 

Usually when they say that, it means don't date guys in college who are really party-hardy and immature. They are the ones who aren't really looking for a relationship and will probably cheat on you.

 

This does NOT sound like your guy at all and I'm sure you'd agree. Besides, he's getting a little "old" for all that party nonsense. I'm sure if your friends got to know him, they'd come around. Go prove them wrong! lol

[abitbroken]

I think the age difference that you have only matters if you are not at the same place in life. He's clearly not a partier that needs to grow up. I think even if he doesn't go back to school at this time, he is working and seems to be a responsible guy. It is good that he wouldn't have an ego problem if you happened to make more. I wouldn't listen to your friends in this case.

[CaptainNapalm]

I wouldn't even consider 4 years as a significant age gap, your friends are wrong.

[teabee]

He'll leave you for a pretty young thing? Yeah cause you are SO old and probably horrid to look at!

I think this will work out just fine. He seems like a good guy and if the two of you are compatible you should disregard the comments of your friends.

[greywolf]

I don't think there's a problem with it at all. Any guy can leave you for a 'pretty young thing.' Just because he's younger than you doesn't change anything. Your friends need to mind their own business.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I agree with everything that has been said in this thread. Tell your friends politely that you appreciate their advice but that you're happy and want to see this through.

 

Personally, I don't think that it'll be that big of a deal that he's 4 years younger than you. It's for you to decide if you are compatible.

[Car Chick]

I've seen waaaaayyyy bigger age gaps successfully work out. Don't sweat it. It'll be fine.

[Night Pumpkin]

Almost all the time when men leave their girlfriends or wives it isn't because of the physical attractiveness factor. It is because they feel unappreciated and tied down and not respected as men anymore. An age gap like this isn't even worth talking about.