facebook discovery.. am I overreacting?

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's not the fact that he likes it, it was that he was tasteless enough to announce to all his friends that he likes it.

 

Depends on the photo though. If it was professionally done, or part of her modeling portfolio, he could just be encouraging her and said he liked the photo. The fact that it has boobs in it has nothing to do with his decision to like it.

 

People say don't start confrontation, but I think you can talk to him about it without it leading to confrontation.

 

And, I don't consider things put on the front page of his social networking site 'snooping'. That's for everyone to see.

[-Sanguine-]

It's not the fact that he likes it, it was that he was tasteless enough to announce to all his friends that he likes it.

 

Depends on the photo though. If it was professionally done, or part of her modeling portfolio, he could just be encouraging her and said he liked the photo. The fact that it has boobs in it has nothing to do with his decision to like it.

 

People say don't start confrontation, but I think you can talk to him about it without it leading to confrontation.

 

And, I don't consider things put on the front page of his social networking site 'snooping'. That's for everyone to see.

 

I don't know. They are decent photos, they probably are professionally done. So maybe that's where I'm overreacting.

I doubt it, but I might casually mention it to him. Depends on our moods/if it comes up in conversation. But I won't be witchy about it or anything.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I don't know. They are decent photos, they probably are professionally done. So maybe that's where I'm overreacting.

I doubt it, but I might casually mention it to him. Depends on our moods/if it comes up in conversation. But I won't be witchy about it or anything.

 

Honestly, this shouldn't turn into a fight. He probably has a reasonable explanation. Just tell him that you thought it was kind of weird that he just liked a random photo and give a little chuckle.

 

"Don't talk about it", in my opinion, isn't a very good answer. Because, you're going to continue thinking about. Which could be handled and explained and over with in 5 minutes of talking ends up being a 2 month long ordeal of you suspicious yet keeping it to yourself. And then you explode.

[-Sanguine-]

Honestly, this shouldn't turn into a fight. He probably has a reasonable explanation. Just tell him that you thought it was kind of weird that he just liked a random photo and give a little chuckle.

 

"Don't talk about it", in my opinion, isn't a very good answer. Because, you're going to continue thinking about. Which could be handled and explained and over with in 5 minutes of talking ends up being a 2 month long ordeal of you suspicious yet keeping it to yourself. And then you explode.

 

Yeah, I don't want that to happen either..

[HerDestiny]

I'm a very social person and have been on social networking sites for a few years. My fiance knew this when we got together. However, if one of my male friends had what could be seen as a "sexy" picture, I have no business (being that I'm in a relationship) telling my friend I like the picture. If I did things like that, it would be so disrespectful to my fiance. He isn't as social as I am but even if he was, I know he wouldn't be commenting on pictures like that either because he shows me as much respect as I show him.

 

I don't see how snooping or jealousy even enters this picture/situation because I find your boyfriend commenting on a picture like this disrespectful. There are plenty of single guys who can "like" her picture. Your boyfriend doesn't need to do her any favors.

[Jd1983]

If it bothers you, then you should have a talk with your bf about it.

 

Why bottle everything inside just because you don't want to be confrontational?

 

Personally, if that was me - I would have already asked what the deal was.

[-Sanguine-]

Ah, I'm so confused about what I should do.

I don't see him for another week. I'd rather not do it over the phone.

[Jd1983]

Ok, rather than take our advice on the situation.

 

How do you truly feel about everything? If you can just dismiss it without feeling uncomfortable, then just drop it. However, if you don't think you will let it go, then I strongly suggest that you talk to him about it.

 

It may not even be anything serious, but if it gives you a peace of mind then do what you have to do.

 

We are just giving you advice on what we would do had we been in your situation. You don't have to listen to us. What may work for you, may not work for everyone else.

 

Do what you feel is right for YOU.

[dookie87]

Face book is the devil in relationships believe me haha. Too many bad experiences with it myself lol.

 

But i agree with whoever said he will probably find a way to turn it around on you.

 

Probably best to let this one go for now. It would bother me too but you gotta know when to draw the line. somethings just arent worth fighting over.

[-Sanguine-]

If he was here with me right now I would mention it. I would say something like "I was just browsing facebook and I know you didn't mean anything by it, but it made me uncomfortable that you liked a girls picture who was half naked."

I know his response would be that he didn't mean anything by it, etc. and we would be fine.

 

The thing is that he is gone for a week. I don't want to bring it up a week from now, nor do I want to do it on the phone.

 

I guess if I see something like this again that makes me uncomfortable, I will mention it. This time I will let it pass.

[dookie87]

Yeah i mean you can leave it for now, but if it continues like you say, just tell him in a calm way you trust him it just bothers you and makes you a little uncomfortable.

 

But i know how you feel. Ive been here before with facebook. It really can be bad on relationships sometimes.

[-Sanguine-]

Yeah i mean you can leave it for now, but if it continues like you say, just tell him in a calm way you trust him it just bothers you and makes you a little uncomfortable.

 

But i know how you feel. Ive been here before with facebook. It really can be bad on relationships sometimes.

 

yeah, I wish I could stop myself from looking!

[FathomFear]

I'm a very social person and have been on social networking sites for a few years. My fiance knew this when we got together. However, if one of my male friends had what could be seen as a "sexy" picture, I have no business (being that I'm in a relationship) telling my friend I like the picture. If I did things like that, it would be so disrespectful to my fiance. He isn't as social as I am but even if he was, I know he wouldn't be commenting on pictures like that either because he shows me as much respect as I show him.

 

I'm sorry, but I just do not understand this attitude at all. It's just so inherently insecure to me. Being in a relationship or not being in a relationship does not dictate whether you really like the picture, and liking or not liking the picture does not mean anything about your relationship. You liking the picture of some guy does not mean you love your boyfriend less, and you boyfriend liking the picture of some woman doesn't mean he finds you less attractive. I really see no need to police the emotions of your partner in such a manner.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'm sorry, but I just do not understand this attitude at all. It's just so inherently insecure to me. Being in a relationship or not being in a relationship does not dictate whether you really like the picture, and liking or not liking the picture does not mean anything about your relationship. You liking the picture of some guy does not mean you love your boyfriend less, and you boyfriend liking the picture of some woman doesn't mean he finds you less attractive. I really see no need to police the emotions of your partner in such a manner.

 

I agree that he's still a human being who will like what he likes. But, announcing it to facebook by checking he likes it is kind of disrespectful.

 

Again, it depends on his reasons. If he knows this woman and was trying to say he liked her modeling photo or a photo she orchestrated for her portfolio, then I'd have no problem.

 

But, if he's trying to let the girl know that he likes her rack, he could just think it and not announce it. It's a matter of taste, in my opinion.

[FathomFear]

I agree that he's still a human being who will like what he likes. But, announcing it to facebook by checking he likes it is kind of disrespectful.

 

There are some serious assumptions behind seeing it as disrespectful, though, and that's my point. In my mind, there's no difference between acknowledging someone's beauty and, say, acknowledging someone's intelligence. You're giving someone credit for an attribute. Acknowledging that someone is beautiful does not mean I think my partner is any less attractive, just as acknowleding someone's intelligence means does not mean I think my partner is stupid.

[Cognitive_Canine]

There are some serious assumptions behind seeing it as disrespectful, though, and that's my point. In my mind, there's no difference between acknowledging someone's beauty and, say, acknowledging someone's intelligence. You're giving someone credit for an attribute. Acknowledging that someone is beautiful does not mean I think my partner is any less attractive, just as acknowleding someone's intelligence means does not mean I think my partner is stupid.

 

That's why i said it depends on why he liked it. If it was a "naked chick", I like kind of 'like' then that'd annoy me. If it was a "wow, great picture' or "this looks really cool" 'like', I wouldn't bat an eyelash. She should ask him what his intentions were.

[-Sanguine-]

I'm going to leave it alone this time. Thanks for all the input, though! given me a lot to think about.

[-Sanguine-]

There are some serious assumptions behind seeing it as disrespectful, though, and that's my point. In my mind, there's no difference between acknowledging someone's beauty and, say, acknowledging someone's intelligence. You're giving someone credit for an attribute. Acknowledging that someone is beautiful does not mean I think my partner is any less attractive, just as acknowleding someone's intelligence means does not mean I think my partner is stupid.

 

Maybe I sound silly, but I've honestly never looked at it like that before. Thanks for the different perspective.

[Blue Spiral]

Maybe he's just hoping you'll post a pic like that, or model something like that for him.

[MakestheBest]

I think maybe we're forgetting that his "like" of the photo was not supposed to be seen by the OP in the first place. I mean what if she had found that he had given an appreciative grin to a woman walking by him on the street. What then?

 

If you had to snoop to find it-leave it alone. If his "like" comment was in open view and ure concern is that if ure friends see it, it would embarrass you...i think that's fair. but still not a big deal

 

People like the way people look. I don't think you should in any way,let this make you insecure. It's not a big deal.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Not supposed to be seen? There was a link to the picture on his front page of the social networking site.

 

This isn't snooping. Anyone can access that who is his friend. It's out there for everyone to see.

[-Sanguine-]

Maybe he's just hoping you'll post a pic like that, or model something like that for him.

 

I'm sure he'd like that. He could just tell me that, though, lol.

[-Sanguine-]

Not supposed to be seen? There was a link to the picture on his front page of the social networking site.

 

This isn't snooping. Anyone can access that who is his friend. It's out there for everyone to see.

 

I was gonna say the same thing. I do the same to other friends profiles, not to be a snoop either. Just cause I'm curious and cause I can.

[-Sanguine-]

I think maybe we're forgetting that his "like" of the photo was not supposed to be seen by the OP in the first place. I mean what if she had found that he had given an appreciative grin to a woman walking by him on the street. What then?

 

If you had to snoop to find it-leave it alone. If his "like" comment was in open view and ure concern is that if ure friends see it, it would embarrass you...i think that's fair. but still not a big deal

 

People like the way people look. I don't think you should in any way,let this make you insecure. It's not a big deal.

 

I'm not saying he can't like the way people look. Haha, I know he thinks girls are hot, etc.

[Blue Spiral]

I'm sure he'd like that. He could just tell me that, though, lol.

 

Very true. And, likewise, you could've just told him that this sort of thing bugs you, instead of quasi-snooping. We human beings tend to take the scenic route when it comes to dealing with each other, instead of being direct.