facebook discovery.. am I overreacting?

[-Sanguine-]

so I was just creeping around on facebook like usual.. and I went to my boyfriends page. I saw that he recently liked someone's photo, so I just clicked on the link and it took me to it.

 

it's a friend of a friend of his and she's half naked in this photo.

I have to say, it really bothers me that he "liked" it.

 

am I being stupid?

Do i have a right to tell him I am uncomfortable with this...?

or will I look stupid because I was checking who's photo he liked?

 

ugh, I wish this didn't bother me.

[abitbroken]

Facebook snooping is just about the worse things for relationships and paranoia. Maybe it was artistically a good photo? I really wouldn't read too much into someone giving a thumbs up to something on Facebook. Sometimes people "like" just to support things their friends post regardless of if its great or not. Personally, I think you are overreacting to it

[-Sanguine-]

Facebook snooping is just about the worse things for relationships and paranoia. Maybe it was artistically a good photo? I really wouldn't read too much into someone giving a thumbs up to something on Facebook. Sometimes people "like" just to support things their friends post regardless of if its great or not. Personally, I think you are overreacting to it

 

I mean, the photo was professional, I think

but her boobs were hanging out, that's how all her pictures are.

 

 

I dunno, just makes me uncomfortable

but I agree, I am probably overreacting.. just wish I could make myself not be upset about it.

[Ac143]

I'm the same as you & something like this would bother me especially if the girl was half naked so I know where you are coming from. Sorry no advice here just know you aren't alone.

[EEjustYOmeRE]

i don't think it's really a big deal...unless he makes a habit of 'liking' other photos with half naked women. but even then, it's still a grey area...if it really does bug and nag at you, i suggest you talk to him about it...but CHOOSE YOUR WORDS AND TONES CAREFULLY.

[-Sanguine-]

i don't think it's really a big deal...unless he makes a habit of 'liking' other photos with half naked women. but even then, it's still a grey area...if it really does bug and nag at you, i suggest you talk to him about it...but CHOOSE YOUR WORDS AND TONES CAREFULLY.

 

what would I say? "I'm not very comfortable with your liking pictures of half naked girls?" haha, like it sounds dumb

[metafisics]

Yeah, not nice, but I'd leave it. Nothing nice ever come out of such confrontations. Besides, you were snooping and trust me they have a way of turning around and making you look bad in those situations.

 

I'm no angel and I know that I'd have to deal with the consequences if I discover something whilst snooping. It becomes a catch 22 sit really.

[jul-els]

He liked a photo. He has seen and will see many more photos that he likes. Outside of it making him a human being, it means nothing. I would suggest you don't go starting fires in your relationship in an attempt to extinguish your own personal insecurities. It will backfire on you.

[LoveSoDeep]

So if the fact that he gave a thumbs up to a half naked pic on FB (and I thought FB doesn't allow really bad photos so how bad could it be?) bothers you what would happen if you found his porn collection?

 

I mean he is a guy chances are he has some somewhere (just playing the devil's advocate here guys) how would you feel about that?

[FathomFear]

I'm not sure how his actions are relevant to anything, really. Him liking or not liking a picture does not mean anything about your relationship.

[-Sanguine-]

I dunno, I've been feeling kind of off lately about things with us so maybe that's why I'm reacting like this. :S

 

The porn thing is different for me, for some reason. He's never met those people.. he knows this person. I dunno, I guess that's why I cam here. For some insight. I probably won't say anything to him about it.

[XxJustMexX]

I would suggest you don't go starting fires in your relationship in an attempt to extinguish your own personal insecurities.

 

You know, this statement makes me think... There's a lot of snooping posts on ENA, and statements like these always pop up. When one snoops, people say that its their insecurities that's the problem... But what about the person being snooped on? In this case, it bothers the OP that her bf liked a pic on fb. OK, not a big deal to us... but what about her? OK, she's insecure... and? That doesn't make it any less bothersome and doesn't make the situation not worthy of a confrontation. It may not be a big deal to us, but if it's big enough to bother the OP, then apparently it IS a problem.

 

And hell, she wasn't snooping. Who doesn't go to their friends' pages and follow links? It's not snooping.

 

I just think that I see way too many posts on ENA blaming people for their insecurities when half the time I'm sure the person being snooped on IS in the wrong... (Like that one kid that found out his mom was cheating... everyone on ENA jumped on HIM for snooping! Are you serious???) Granted, this post is nowhere near as bad but... same point.

[EEjustYOmeRE]

i'm not saying you should ocnfront him right away because he liked one picture. i mean, he is a guy after all. but i mean, if it becomes too much of a habit or he starts checking out other girls with you around or something like that...then say something in regards to how YOU feel about it. not how he's making you feel...don't accuse him of this and that. that's what i mean by choosing your words wisely.

 

and like matafisics said, you were snooping around....so unless your guy knows you do this and is okay with it....he'll probably use that little snooping act to defend himself.

[Ac143]

OK how is looking at your boyfriends page or a friends page on facebook where it says point blank what they "like" what they "comment" on etc..considered SNOOPING?? If they didn't want anyone to see it, you can remove it or make your profile private, but thats not the case here.

 

She didn't need a password or to go behind his back to see this, I mean its out in the open for everyone to see. No one can tell me I'm snooping on my friend cause I followed his or her "like".

[-Sanguine-]

I will be honest. I do follow links on facebook just out of curiosity, I'm sure everyone does.

But I've seen pictures of this girl before (I recognized her name on his page) and I knew she was always posting pictures of herself half naked, so I wanted to see what he liked..

 

and part of me knew I wouldn't like what I saw, and I was right. I'm not even an overly jealous person or anything, I trust him completely. It's not about cheating, I guess it's more about my insecurity. And maybe people will say I'm snooping and he could turn it around, but what xxjustmexx said up there is very true too...

[nadid]

so I was just creeping around on facebook like usual.. and I went to my boyfriends page. I saw that he recently liked someone's photo, so I just clicked on the link and it took me to it.

 

it's a friend of a friend of his and she's half naked in this photo.

I have to say, it really bothers me that he "liked" it.

 

am I being stupid?

Do i have a right to tell him I am uncomfortable with this...?

or will I look stupid because I was checking who's photo he liked?

 

ugh, I wish this didn't bother me.

 

You're not being stupid at all. He was really inappropriate 'liking' some girl's photo.

 

If I were in your position, I would feel like it makes me look like a silly doormat that my guy is giving some girl attention like that in a public forum, when people know he has me as his girlfriend.

 

The issue is him having respect for you two, publicly. Seems more and more guys these days have messed up values.

 

Definitely express to him how you feel. He needs to get straightened out. LOL

[LoveSoDeep]

You're right OP...porn is different b/c he doesn't know those people. I get that.

 

Was there any other reason he could have "liked" this particular picture? maybe it wasn't about her boobs at all what were other people saying about it?

 

I would say don't confront him about it b/c I believe in picking your battles and this one may not be worth the damage it could do. But if it bothers you and you don't like that it bothers you then maybe you should look into that.

[abitbroken]

I mean, the photo was professional, I think

.

 

Then he could be liking the quality of the photo, too. Well - what is also your definition of "boobs hanging out" - does she always wear low cut tops or clothes that don't quite fit her? Being in her skivvies and being dressed tacky, etc, are two different things.

 

Also, your boyfriend is human and a guy. You know - my boyfriends parents have been married 50 years and photos of Charlize Theron turn his dad's head. He even talks about how gorgeous she is in front of his wife and she jokes that she is his girlfriend. It is not like he is meeting up with this girl. He just thought the photo was well done. Maybe they were her "modelling" photos - who knows.

[-Sanguine-]

Thanks for that.. I felt like I was doing something so wrong by all the other posts..

[-Sanguine-]

Then he could be liking the quality of the photo, too. Well - what is also your definition of "boobs hanging out" - does she always wear low cut tops or clothes that don't quite fit her? Being in her skivvies and being dressed tacky, etc, are two different things.

 

Also, your boyfriend is human and a guy. You know - my boyfriends parents have been married 50 years and photos of Charlize Theron turn his dad's head. He even talks about how gorgeous she is in front of his wife and she jokes that she is his girlfriend. It is not like he is meeting up with this girl. He just thought the photo was well done. Maybe they were her "modelling" photos - who knows.

 

They probably are modelling.. but she is in her bra and underwear in most of them.. and if it was a celebrity like Charlize Theron, it probably wouldn't bother me if he liked he picture. But like I said, he met her, he knows her, he has contact with her.. But I get what you're saying. He's probably not going to see her again or contact her. It just irks me in a way though.

[-Sanguine-]

You're right OP...porn is different b/c he doesn't know those people. I get that.

 

Was there any other reason he could have "liked" this particular picture? maybe it wasn't about her boobs at all what were other people saying about it?

 

I would say don't confront him about it b/c I believe in picking your battles and this one may not be worth the damage it could do. But if it bothers you and you don't like that it bothers you then maybe you should look into that.

 

maybe he was just liking it for the hell of it, I don't know. there were no other comments on the picture so I dunno..

[jul-els]

I don't think browsing on a publicly viewed website designed for networking is snooping. I don't think that's the problem. I think the problem is letting jealousy rear it's head because her bf said he liked someone's picture. It's just a picture. It's meaningless. To belabor the point with her bf would accomplish nothing other than coming accross as nagging. It's a projection of insecurity. There's nothing wrong with complimenting a person on their photo.

[-Sanguine-]

You're not being stupid at all. He was really inappropriate 'liking' some girl's photo.

 

If I were in your position, I would feel like it makes me look like a silly doormat that my guy is giving some girl attention like that in a public forum, when people know he has me as his girlfriend.

 

The issue is him having respect for you two, publicly. Seems more and more guys these days have messed up values.

 

Definitely express to him how you feel. He needs to get straightened out. LOL

 

 

I don't know, haha all these mixed views are confusing.

[-Sanguine-]

I don't think browsing on a publicly viewed website designed for networking is snooping. I don't think that's the problem. I think the problem is letting jealousy rear it's head because her bf said he liked someone's picture. It's just a picture. It's meaningless. To belabor the point with her bf would accomplish nothing other than coming accross as nagging. It's a projection of insecurity. There's nothing wrong with complimenting a person on their photo.

 

you're right, it probably meant nothing to him and he didn't think twice..

 

but it just bothered me I guess. I won't say anything cause it won't be worth it.

[helloladies21]

It's funny how everyone on the thread is making speculation about the intentions of her bf. How can anyone of us know if he is just making an innocent comment? For all we know he could have every intention of trying to sleep with this other girl.

 

To OP, you post a variation of the same concern over and over again on this site and it hasn't brought you any closer to feeling secure with your bf. You said that you fully trust your bf, but that you are insecure. You fail to see that the reason why you're insecure is because of the fact that you don't trust your bf. Otherwise you would have no reason to feel insecure.

 

You do yourself, your bf, and the relationship a disservice by not talking to your bf straight away before consulting us. We'll offer nothing more than what we've offered before, which is at best a temporary solution to a permanent problem.