When the other person doesn't have time to date

[Guarneri]

I met a girl online, and we met once in person. We have a lot in common, and I am very much interested in her. However, when I suggested our getting together again, she politely declined, saying that she is happy to have met me but that now is not a good time to pursue a relationship because she doesn't have much free time in the foreseeable future and will be going away for a time. I don't see any reason to believe that she has any objections to me, but is simply very busy right now. Has anyone else had this happen? Is it OK for me to get in touch with her again after a while and see what happens?

 

(BTW, I know this doesn't belong in the shyness section, but I am shy and I feel most comfortable in this section.)

[annie24]

if you want to keep in touch with her, sure. but i wouldn't expect anything, and i would for sure keep your options open and date other women.

[amipushy]

Sorry but it sounds like a rejection wrapped up with politeness to me. Put it down to experience and find someone else.

[Day_Walker]

I think that you have to realize that she rejected you (in a nice way). You have to decide how you wish to handle the situation. Personally, if I am rejected then I just move on, I dont intentionally try and avoid the person but I make it clear that I am just not going to sit around and be their friend.

[sidehop]

It's a rejection but like others have said it's a polite and in a very honest way is what I get. I would keep the friendship though if you can

[guynextdoor]

If she likes you she'll make time for you. Even if its a hour here or there.

[JusticeLaw9]

I once met what seemed to be a nice woman offline. Our conversation went really good, but she seemed so busy with her work schedule (working anywhere from 5-7 days a week with 12-hour shifts on some days) I just wasn't able to see how she'd really have time to meet up or date anyone. I guess if she really wanted she could make time. But I'm really not trying to be the guinea pig for that one.

[dr_styles]

If she likes you she'll make time for you. Even if its a hour here or there.

 

ditto. From what you've said the most from her is "she's happy to have met you" - I can say that to pretty much everyone I meet in life ...

 

If you believe she has no objections to you, then why do you believe that?

[annie24]

let's assume she is telling the truth about being too busy. either way, she's not going to be a good match for you.

[Guarneri]

I realize now that the way I put it it does sound like a rejection, however I don't think it was. It is hard to convey all of the nuances of the situation on the internet short of giving an exact transcript of what she said, which would be unethical. I know for a fact that she is going away for several months, and that she is experiencing some transition in her life right now that may preclude being able to seriously pursue a relationship.

[mfan]

I wouldn't even be friends with a girl who doesn't have time for me, let alone date her. I think it was good and honest of her to tell you about her busy schedule in advance. She sounds like a good person. But don't try to date her.

[bruinsy81]

I realize now that the way I put it it does sound like a rejection, however I don't think it was. It is hard to convey all of the nuances of the situation on the internet short of giving an exact transcript of what she said, which would be unethical. I know for a fact that she is going away for several months, and that she is experiencing some transition in her life right now that may preclude being able to seriously pursue a relationship.

Bottom line:she doesn't want to spend time with you[or perhaps anyone] right now.She isn't a good match for you at the moment.Perhaps you could keep her email address and correspond with her occasionally and sometime down the road you two would be a good fit.Don't waste time on this one,move on.

[Shudder]

nobody is too busy for anything

[YakasJourney]

It's probably a rejection, but women can be funny with these things. Sometimes this is not a flat out rejection. Women like to keep their doors open. It is best to simply accept what she says and move on in the mean time. Maybe somewhere down the road, you reconnect, go out again. Or not. You just can't say for sure. And bothersome as that is, it's just the way it is. But you have to think about how the date went objectively, and compare that to what she says. Like if the date was really nice, then she is probably being honest. If it was lackluster, then it's probably rejection.