Need some advice regarding online dating

[theproman23]

Well I've been trying online dating for a while and I haven't really had any success. I am a member with Match and E harmony and about a month or two ago I did start communicating with someone I met on E harmony.

 

I've never really had any kind of a relationship workout for me and the closest I got was about a 3 year dysfunctional friendship/relationship that ended about 2 yrs ago. Been extremely happy since and I've really spent the time being happy and taking care of myself.

 

Anyway I am 25 and the girl I met is 26. She's a divorcee and that got me worried at first as I didn't what I can expect seeing that she's been divorced at such a young age. Either way I decided that I would have to see what she's like before I make any kind of a decision on it. So, we communicated for a week or so, just through emails, and all of sudden she said that she's having second thoughts about going any further as she's already been divorced and I've never had a real gf or a relationship. So we said our goodbyes and that was about it.

 

Then about a week ago she reactivated her membership on the site and the system matched us up again. So, I figured I had nothing to lose and mailed her again asking how she was and if she would be interested in giving things another try. I didn't expect any kind of a reply from her but to my surprise she texted me (as we did exchange phone numbers the first time around) saying she was happy to hear from me. we exchanged a few more texts and I asked her to let me know if she'd like to hang out sometime and she said she definitely would like to.

 

So, my question after this long explanation is, where should I go from here? Do I call her and talk a few times and then setup a date? I personally would feel more comfortable having a face to face conversation.

[annie24]

i would ask her to meet for a coffee sooner rather than later.

[Daligal83]

I'd call her and if you feel like the conversation is going well, ask her out for coffee. I don't think it's ever a good idea to ask someone out over text message. It's too casual. Plus you get more of a feel for someone over the phone than you do over text.

[JusticeLaw9]

Tell her you'd like to meetup with her for talk and a cup of joe. I don't really see what you have to lose, the worse that can happen is she's going to say no again, at which there's always somebody else out there.

[nutbrownhare]

I wouldn't worry too much about her being divorced at a young age, if that's all there is to it. If there IS anything to worry about, you'll find out soon enough. Otherwise, some people just get married too young and it fizzles out as they gain in maturity. So don't go with any preconceptions about that particular one.

 

Apart from that, I agree with everyone who says you should try to arrange a face-to-face conversation over a cup of something, as soon as possible.

[theproman23]

Well thanks to everyone's advise and a few of my friends, I called her and have a date for Thu night. Her and I are huge hockey fans so I suggested we go get a few drinks and watch the game at a local bar and she seemed to really like the idea. So, we'll see how things go I guess.

[greenrebellion]

Well thanks to everyone's advise and a few of my friends, I called her and have a date for Thu night. Her and I are huge hockey fans so I suggested we go get a few drinks and watch the game at a local bar and she seemed to really like the idea. So, we'll see how things go I guess.

 

I'm jealous, I'd give anything to find a girl that likes hockey! Have fun and let us know how it goes.

[nutbrownhare]

Well thanks to everyone's advise and a few of my friends, I called her and have a date for Thu night. Her and I are huge hockey fans so I suggested we go get a few drinks and watch the game at a local bar and she seemed to really like the idea. So, we'll see how things go I guess.

Way - hayyyyy! Have a great time, and let us know how it goes!

[annie24]

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[theproman23]

I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind filling me in on some ettiqute I should follow for this date....It's been a real long while since my a first date and I just want to make sure I do things right..For example, it's the first time we're meeting, do I shake her hand, wave hello? Kiss or hug at the end of the night? stuff like that.

[andromeda99]

When she approaches you I would wave hello to let her know she's heading in the right direction. I think it would be a nice gesture to hold her chair for her when she sits down.

 

 

Until you know her a little better or have a good sense of whether she'd be receptive, I'd stay away from kissing at the end of the first meet-up date -- this after all is just the first time you're meeting, to check each other out and see if there's any chemistry. Maybe a light hug would be better, but really just try to read the situation when you're in the moment and use your best judgment. It really all depends on how you two interact at the initial meetup.

 

Good luck and have a great time!

[greenrebellion]

I was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind filling me in on some ettiqute I should follow for this date....It's been a real long while since my a first date and I just want to make sure I do things right..For example, it's the first time we're meeting, do I shake her hand, wave hello? Kiss or hug at the end of the night? stuff like that.

 

For online first dates (or pre-dates as I like to call them), here's what I've done. I generally show up to the date location a bit early to make sure she doesn't have to wait around or seek me out. Once I see her, I go up and say something like "Hi, you must be (insert name)...its nice to finally meet you", etc. etc. and give her a quick friendly hug.

 

I tried a handshake once since its online and we've never met and I wasn't sure if people would be comfortable with a hug, but the handshake was just really awkward to me. I now go for more of a one handed side hug, which seems to work fairly well. As far as the closing, I've always ended it with another hug and if I had a good time, I tell them we should get together again sometime.

 

All in all, the key is to just be yourself, and don't over think it. She'll be a bit nervous as well so just introduce yourself, smile, be friendly and you'll be fine!

[newwave]

Speaking as a woman, I don't like when a guy hugs me if I don't know him. I prefer a handshake. Then at the end of the pre date meeting (I like this phrase) I shake hands again. I am turned off by premature affections, especially if not interested.

[Daligal83]

I think that's just a personal preference though. I hug everyone haha.

[theproman23]

Thanks again guys! yeah hand shake seems a bit weird to me for even a "pre-date". I like the waving hello at the beginning of the "pre-date", lol, and then seeing how things go and endign with a hug. Unless things really seem to go well I wouldn't feel comfortable kissing her.

[theproman23]

Well I am home from the Pre Date. I think it went well. She seems like a really nice person and we have extremely similar personalities! It was really awesome talking to someone that felt exactly the same way about life as I have.

 

It was a little tough talking to her at times. I had to really volunteer a lot of info. to get her to talk. I did get her to talk though. She seems like a really down to earth person and she seems to have gone through a lot in life and is very reserved. Her and I both felt that it's really hard to meet people like us at bars and clubs and she's sort of a home body like I am although she seems to be more of one than I am. I think there is potential there and I asked if she would be interested in doing something next week and she seemed to be very interested.

 

I huged her at the end of the night and there was an awkward pause but I don't really care. The best part was the 5 hours went by like nothing. We didn't even pay attention to the game and didn't even care that our home team lost!

 

So, right now we have plans to play some darts next week but I our home team is playing one last home game for the season and I have season tickets and I am thinking about asking her to go with me to the game especially because we both love hockey.

 

Any thoughts?

[annie24]

yay!!!! she might have just been nervous. see her again and have fun!!!