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Ex Girlfriend wants to spend the night


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So my ex gf of two years now is in town and wants to spend the night with me. I dont know if I like the sound of this. I have never got over this one and it was a pretty harsh break up for me. From what I know and what FB says she still has a boy friend. Why is she trying to stay with me? Is it a good idea for me? I know Im not going to get emotionally attached if something happens because I never want to be in a relationship with her again.

But the thing is it could be fun if she did stay here just for the night. But do I have no self respect for myself if I let her?

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I think you already know the answer to this one, semaj.


"I have never got over this one and it was a pretty harsh break up for me."

Why would you let her spend the night?


I mean, if you honestly believe it will be of no cost to you emotionally, then go for it I guess. But from what you've written it just sounds like a bad idea.


"But do I have no self respect for myself if I let her?"

Ehh, only you can answer that one..


Hope that helps,



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Tread carefully.


She may just need a place to stay and you are a person she trusts. Or she may have alternative motives. Only you can decide how far to let things go (if she tries anything). So just try to think about how you would feel if you did see her again, hang out, and if things went any furthur. You say that you wouldn't get emotionally attached, but that is a hard thing to say because once you see that person all those emotions you thought you had under control could come flooding back in.


Think about it and then go with your gut. If you want to see her and have fun, okay. But know there is a slight possibility you may open those flood gates again.

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I feel like nothing good could possibly come from this except maybe a fun night. You may feel like crap the next day when she leaves and goes off with her new boyfriend. I don't know anything about your breakup but you wrote that it was harsh and hurt you a lot so I feel like this is going to totally erase your healing.


If I were in your shoes though I'd probably do the stupid thing and let her come over because I am a bit impulsive. It's up to you.

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I think you need to know what you expect going into it, and be ready to kick her out if you don't get it. You realize how shady she's being, so just bang her and let that be the end of it, and kick her out and call a cab if she refuses. Trust me, kicking someone out of you place, when they shoot down an advance is almost equally gratifying as when they accept.

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Well, here's an important question, do you know if she has friends living in the same area/city as you that she probably could have spent the night with instead? If so, she is up to noooo good. If not, well, I would ask why she wants to spend the night - since you guys had a bad falling out, I think it would be fine to ask. It could be that she has no where else to stay that's safe and affordable. If that's the case, I would throw her a pillow and blanket for the couch and leave it at that.

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