How do you get over the anger and hate after a break-up?

[mgirl]

I feel unfathomable anger and hate toward the person who broke up with me via sms and email, and whom kind of disowned me on two occasions when i was "down".

 

This whole break-up was about them finding somebody who is "happy" rather than being with depressed old me, despite the fact that this person said they are "loyal", and had "support, love and happiness" to offer.

 

I'm just wondering where the support was?

 

I am just so angry that i believed all the deceptions ("i love you", "i want a long term you", "i've wanted you for 8 years" rubbish). She sounded like a married man trying to charm her way into the pants of some unfortunate victim. Sadly enough, i gave part of my heart away to somebody who DOESN'T DESERVE IT! And, i feel ripped off and betrayed, and a sucker.

 

I am also angry that her life seems to have moved on, she has a new job and is hanging out with her 'friends' again, while mine is quite the opposite - lonely, a bit sad and a bit uncertain on the job front.

 

I am not going to send anymore emails, i am over that. I mean, she hasn't even bothered to pick up the phone, the whole thing was done on email and SMS, that's what makes me angrier, that i was just disposable.

 

I actually HATE this girl and haven't felt "hate" for anybody for a long time. And, don't tell me that hate is close to love, because i wouldn't take this spineless, gutless wonder back if you paid me.

 

I know i've got to concentrate on myself and i will feel better. I know i will feel less hate and anger once i am happy with myself, it's just a hard journey right now.

 

I've been feeling like this for the passed two days, so i am hoping it will pass.

 

Grr

[Dako]

I never found a better tool for recovery than letting go.

 

Anger keeps your internal dialogue churning. It will fade in time so you can reject her hold over your emotions. Probably sounds lame to you right now.

[mgirl]

I never found a better tool for recovery than letting go.

 

Anger keeps your internal dialogue churning. It will fade in time so you can reject her hold over your emotions. Probably sounds lame to you right now.

 

Letting go: easier said than done.

 

Internal dialogue: it's the inner dialogue that keeps the anger going. Maybe i could change it to "XXX, i love you so much and wish you ALL the best!".

[stormie]

oh dear, do I know how you feel. I was dumped by my ex of ten years. It was a sudden thing - I came home and his stuff was all gone. After ten years, I've never felt so bad in my life.

 

How did I get over it? The anger... the humiliation... the pain... the sickening feeling in the stomach there was someone else.... well, easier said than done, but like any illness, time cures all wounds.

 

I'd say maintain yourself busy - go out places, movies, concerts, the beach, for a drive, to the mall - even if it's alone. Take a few courses at the local college, do a little online dating for fun.. oh these are just a few of the things I did to get over my pain

[redherring]

Keeping yourself busy is good.

 

I've also taken to writing stuff down, I made a list of all the reasons I should forgive my ex. Each time I feel angry I remind myself of what I'd written down.

 

Not that I'm suggesting you follow suit but I took some acid and found that helped- although I took it because I wanted to try it, not to gain insight on my ex. I felt a lot more at peace with the situation and forgiving of him then, some of those feelings have stuck.