My fiancé used to be an escort...

[abitbroken]

We are not saying you can't love her. It will take time - but she is not suitable for you as a marriage partner based on this information, nor as a girlfriend. That may be the first step. There is the nondisclosure of this as well as subjecting you to possible STDs. It seems that she is good at compartmentalizing her life as well. I am not saying you can't love her as you would love another human being - you don't have to "hate" her in other words, but you do have to set boundaries to protect yourself - your emotions and your body.

[Ms Darcy]

why do I always get the end of the stick, I am caring always give 100% and not bad looking either yet I always end up hurt or worse.

 

Because you make bad choices. I do not mean to hurt your feelings, but if you choose to stay with a woman who has major issues (money driven, keeps profile up, lies to you, blows up at you, is by your admission likely to cheat on you etc) then you need to accept that you also chose the consequences.

 

I'm sorry.

 

I know it's not easy to stop loving her. The first step is leaving. The next step is moving on. Anything else is unwise to the nth degree.

[kalaidoscopic]

I think the problem here shouldn't be that she used to be an escort, it should be that she hid it from you. i felt i should specify that because everyone has a past and sex can mean more or less to different people, and that's not what's important in a relationship. what's important is love and trust. if you feel that you can no longer trust her, you need to think about why this is. if it is because she used to be an escort at all, you need to have a good hard think about your priorities and how much this girl means to you. if it is because she hid something which is quite a big thing from you, it's entirely fair enough that you feel betrayed and you should perhaps postpone the wedding until you have rebuilt your relationship, and if you feel it's damaged beyond repair, you should call the wedding off.

i hope this helps xox

[Narma]

Something that many people haven't said is if she is innocent... What about that?

I mean, if she actually has stopped being an escort, and if she was only shy about the situation, maybe thats why she wanted him out of the room.

 

All i can say is, with all these if's and's and but's is confusion. You need to know the truth , you DESERVE the truth. Talk to her. Communicate with her. And if it is really hard to ask her the questions to her face, write them out. Writing your feelings out always make you feel better.

 

Everyone who has told you to leave her, is right to a degree. Until you know everything; that is when you can make your choice of leaving or staying.

 

But is this the only thing that has happened in this relationship? Because if their have been other lies.. all i can say is that odds are she lied about this as well. And that she is not trustworthy. I just fear that if you ask her questions, and she lies to your face. That would be devastating.

 

Maybe, tell her you won't leave her if she tells the truth. That might get the truth out of her. Cause i really think you need to here it from her that she was actually doing this behind your back.Then maybe you will be capable of leaving her, and slowly moving on.

 

Goodluck though! This is a tough situation. I know enough guys who would have left this women a long time ago. You must be a really loving guy, and some other girl might be in need of the love you can give. Someone deserving.