What do men really want?

[LLammas]

This may have been brought up in the past, but I'm curious: what do men really look for in a relationship?

 

Men, what makes you want to marry a girl? Is it looks, personality, motivation? What combination? What makes you want to stay with her, and what sends red flags to end the relationship? Why is it that some girls are men magnets (even when not terribly attractive) while others are perpetually single?

 

What do you really look for in a woman?

[CaptainNapalm]

Wants:

Integridy, good character, zest for life, honesty, sense of humor, intellect

 

Red flags:

Possesivness, lack of direction in life, obsessive behavior, gold digging tendencies, hypocrisy

[jul-els]

I used to look for a girl who was sexy and fun. Nowadays I'm a bit more selective. I would only consider getting serious about a girl who was intelligent, kind, sexy, fun and above all else not crazy (sorry for the stereotype, just reflecting on personal experience).

[wolfwithin]

For me it is personality. Looks are great but if the girl is shallow, snobby, or just plain mean then she gets ugly super quick. I always try to make friends and get to know the girl first to make sure it is not just lust which I consider looks to be. Then if she passes that test she has to pass another one.

 

I ask her questions to see how her personality is. From things like what kind of animal would you be to, asking what she thinks of other people, and things of that nature. I always ask why no matter her answer because if she doesn't like someone because they are mean that is one thing but to hate someone because they wore the wrong shoes or the same shoes is just stupid and I can't stand girls like that. The animal one I ask to see what kind of person she is and her reason why.

 

If you find yourself single all the time then maybe you are not giving some less attractive guys a chance. I am not bad looking but I am by no means a stud. All the girls that have liked me, it was never for my looks but my personality. If you are comfortable and confident in yourself then it is amazing how fast people fall for you. In college I had girls wanting me like crazy and many were in my opinion very hot but had horrible personalities and failed 2 out of 3 of my main tests.

 

Oh and all girls have to pass my growing old test. If I can not see us in 50 years together then I don't even bother. I know that sounds odd because every time it is before any kind of relationship even begins but I am not a guy that does anything on real impulse. I took 3 weeks figuring out who my girlfriend was before I even talked to her. Then I took almost 3 months after that to even start really trying to go out with her. All the other girls I asked out it was months after I had gotten to know them. The only way I get into any kind of relationship is when I know I am not wasting my time or her time.

[LLammas]

Interesting take on things; keep them coming!

[EQIQ]

For me what usually attracts me is being caring and girls that laugh at my stupid silly jokes lol...... But yeah good sense of humor goes a long way. Kindness / being caring + good morals is the "food" but good humor + sexyness is the "seasoning". At least that is how it is for me..

[Organs]

It's a little like how a latte is made compared to coffee with cream. One is just a few ounces of espresso with at least twelve more or so of steamed milk. The other is close to twelve ounces of coffe with just a few ounces of milk or cream.

 

Bizarre comparison, I know, but stay with me.

 

So, I'd like a girl who is attractive to me. She doesn't necessarily need to be model material, but I have to be attracted to her. What's weird is I prefer girls who are more normal and flawed in their appearance than supermodel perfect women. The more perfect she is, the more plastic she seems. So, I kinda like pasty white skin, or slightly curvy thighs, or something along those lines.

 

Besides that, she has to be down to earth. She has to be able to laugh at a tasteless joke, drink her beer, watch a horror movie, partake in some kind of geeky interest (Neil Gaiman, MST3K, role playing games, comic books, etc.), and just generally be a good, fun person.

 

So, it's like just enough male interests to compliment her femininity. Does that make sense?

[Bismark776]

Well really the most important thing is that she makes me happy. I know thats vague but its really the only solid answer. I've found that there isn't one particular set of traits that accomplish that but here are the things that make it more likely.

 

First all, I like to be with a girl who I can talk with (not "to"). Sometimes you meet someone who conversation is so seamless, so natural, so effortless, you can talk for hours and not have a single lull. I really love that.

 

I also really appreciate it when a girl challenges me intellectually. I naturally like to discuss things and debate and talk about controversial topics or unsolvable problems, if a girl can challenge me in these areas so that I question my own ideas a etc, then I'll respect her a lot more and enjoy talking to her even more.

 

Common interests, things to do together, a willingness to get out (or stay in) and have fun are obviously really important. But there are so many interests and interests vary from person to person that I think its enough to just say that we should have something in common.

 

In terms of a lasting relationship there are some other things that help a lot. She should be willing to compromise, willing to give up things that are important to her for me without my having to fight her over it, just like I'm willing to do the same for her. She has to take the relationship seriously, and understand that those things have ups and downs and just because something isn't working at the moment doesn't mean you should just give up on it.

[Sn0man]

Nothing. I have completely given up on the idea of relationships.

 

The great thing about it is; I never have to ask myself these kinds of questions.

[EQIQ]

AHH lol.. Just something funny... I always had this weird fantasy of playing strip chess LOL. So yeah if a girl plays chess its a plus in my book LOL

[easyguy]

Although I've only had one girlfriend, I think these qualities would be highly necessary in future relationships: Trustworthy and loyal, has the ability to communicate, shows respect (not just towards me, but everyone), willing to make compromises, is cool with not spending every minute of every day together, and someone who can engage to some capacity with my passion(s).

[LLammas]

It's funny, the one thing that is always mentioned here is loyalty. Yet, even loyal girls are abandoned for greener pastures. What gives?

[Bismark776]

It's funny, the one thing that is always mentioned here is loyalty. Yet, even loyal girls are abandoned for greener pastures. What gives?

 

Well I tend to think theres two main reasons for that. First of all, the people on ENA are not representative of the general population. The site caters to certain types of people or people going through various situations and while we are diverse, I think you'd find strong trends and tendencies in terms of the types of people and their mindsets. That alone goes a long way towards explaining why we value loyalty so highly. Men on ENA are going to tend to be the type who are looking for more than a one night stand and want a girl who will stay loyal.

 

Additionally, keep in mind that nobody who wants to date wants their partner to cheat on them or dump them so whether its a guy who sleeps with a different girl every week or a guy who goes long term multi-year relationships every time, he still wants her to be loyal. Yeah its a jerk mindset for the "sleeps with a different girl every week" guy since he knows he won't be loyal but he wants her to be, but its basic human psychology. If shes the one who is loyal then I probably won't be the one who gets hurt. Loyal guys get dumped for "greener" pastures too.

[Lowconfidence]

1. Physical beauty

2. Lots of regular sex

3. Women who don't have expensive tastes/lifestyles

4. Loyalty

5. Easy to please

[Jayauntae F.]

This may have been brought up in the past, but I'm curious: what do men really look for in a relationship?

 

Men, what makes you want to marry a girl? Is it looks, personality, motivation? What combination? What makes you want to stay with her, and what sends red flags to end the relationship? Why is it that some girls are men magnets (even when not terribly attractive) while others are perpetually single?

 

What do you really look for in a woman?

 

?

 

every man has his own unique desires in a mate, so asking this question will generate nothing but an assortment of answers that will undoubtedly lead you back to square one which is the foundation of your post.

 

but to answer the question imho

 

religion

personality

looks

job status

[blitzkrieged]

1. Physical beauty

2. Lots of regular sex

3. Women who don't have expensive tastes/lifestyles

4. Loyalty

5. Easy to please

 

hmm... kind of like a blow up sex doll?

[aurevoir]

Great question, Guys have different preferences though.

I am sure all guys want a girl that is caring, ambitious, not afraid of life and not afraid of challenges, someone that is intelligent, sexy, and loving.

 

That whole 'party' thing is a turnoff. I am very confused to why guys would even go for girls like this. To sleep with? Maybe. But that disgusts me, no offense guys. I wonder how you honestly sleep at night,, don't you feel lonely?

 

Personally, parties are fun, but there's a time to get serious with your life. That party thing needs to die down. I have nothing against party girls either. You just need to get a hold of yourself and your life. 'crazy' girls are quite scary so i'd understand why you wouldn't want them lol!

 

Confidence is sexy for sure. I noticed all guys like that.

[chelsea13]

hmm... kind of like a blow up sex doll?

 

hahaha ditto to that.

 

I love guys who are not afraid to be intellectually challenged by females, that is just so confident.

 

Guys get turned off when I'm too headstrong, I don't know what they want.

[Venomite]

A lot of what most people said here. Physical attraction is a must, but they don't have to be supermodel material. I'm much more attracted to the 'cute' girls than the 'sexy' ones. Being sweet, caring, smiling a lot are also important.

 

One thing that not as many people have mentioned is ambition. Ambitious women (career-oriented) are hot. I don't want someone who is going to be content in settling with a sub-par job. Also, it's pretty important that she is intellectually stimulating (I wouldn't mind if she was even smarter than me to!).

[JusticeLaw9]

This may have been brought up in the past, but I'm curious: what do men really look for in a relationship?

 

Men, what makes you want to marry a girl? Is it looks, personality, motivation? What combination? What makes you want to stay with her, and what sends red flags to end the relationship? Why is it that some girls are men magnets (even when not terribly attractive) while others are perpetually single?

 

What do you really look for in a woman?

 

Loyality & ambition are the most important qualities I favor in a woman. Somebody loyal to me won't leave me or allow anything to come between the two us. Someone ambitious will challenge me and our relationship so that we can grow and our relationship can get stronger. The looks department was never much on the high priority list for me; I like it, but it's not what will ultimately make me pursue someone if everything else isn't in tact. I like a woman who takes pride in her appearance and does her best to keep herself looking neat and squared-away. I am a foot-guy so if her feet are pretty bonus points will be added. They don't have to always be done, but at least be clean and neat looking. A nice body would be good too, but I'd rather have the feet before that. I don't do very well with women that are very timid and passive; I like a woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it. So women who like to play the "You lead, I follow behind your move" game puzzle me; it's in my nature to be a leader but as a gentleman I believe that were of equal value so your opinion matters.

 

My biggest pet-peeves are impulsiveness, attitude and laziness.

[fullset]

See for me, there are a few categories that I put girls in: Hot, beautiful, and insanely beautiful. Hot girls are nice to see walking down the street, beautiful is the one who puts a smile on my face, and insanely beautiful ones are so beautiful that I wouldn't want to say or do anything fearing that I might ruin it. Just picturing the insanely beautiful girl makes me happy. The one that I'm insanely crazy about right now (I found out today that she has a serious boyfriend), I saw her cry once after she couldn't save a patient. Before that incident, I thought she was nice and attractive, but after seeing her cry, I knew that she had a good heart. I asked her out the next time I saw her, but it wasn't to be. Trust me, I was contemplating not asking her out, but I figured that if I didn't, I would regret it for the rest of my life. I guess the most important qualities are intelligence, caring, good looks, polite, a happy & smiling face, humble, and confidence (not ego).