Hypothetically speaking...

[milkyway17]

Think of the guy/girl that you still love. Or imagine one. They broke up with you, so you are trying to move on but you still love them for a long time afterwards. You start going out with other people again to get your mind off things. At first, he/she is mean to you, which makes you sad, but then he/she starts warming up to you again. (Over the course of a year) You're in a relationship now for a few months. He/She decides to tell you that they are in love with you again, that they just realized it. Would you leave your current bf/gf for him/her?

 

I just want to see what people would do in this situation.

[TSandullo]

I have to be honest with you.

 

I am in the current emotional state where I would accept her back (with significant chasing from her as well otherwise history repeats itself...another breakup)

 

So, i am currently avoiding getting into a relationship right now until I am sorted out.

 

I'm the type of person who puts his all into a relationship till death do part or unless my partner cheats...then it is over...for good.

 

I would like to get with my ex.

 

However, once I have truly moved on, I don't think this will be the case. Her coming back will be a bonus to me (if I am single)

 

However, once I am in a new relationship, I put my efforts into that. And any interest for reconciliation from my ex will be rejected. I don't think I will even string them along with a 'you never know, what lies in the future'

 

That would be blatantly disrespectful towards my partner and I do possess some degree of integrity.

 

Why do you ask this question? Has this occurred to you? Or do you wish this will happen?

[greywolf]

No, I wouldn't. If someone waited to tell me that they're in love with me until I was already in a new relationship, then I don't think they really love me.

[uncomfynumb]

No. Because I wouldn't be dating anyone new and risking someone else's heart until I had completely moved on and once I move on, I do not go back.

 

Don't ever, ever, ever date someone simply to make an ex jealous. Not saying that you are or that you would, I'm just saying.

 

People are not pawns or toys. They are living, breathing human beings with souls and emotions. Love them, don't hurt them.

[minou]

Most definitely. I've had one great love in my life. I am very honest about still being in love with my husband.

[TSandullo]

So Minou, unless I have misunderstood your post, would you leave your hubby for this one great love (from the past I presume) if they came knocking again?

[jimmajam]

Very tough question. I wouldn't just up and leave my current relationship just because they showed interest again, but I would be interested myself. I would try and keep it on a strictly friend level for as long as I could so we could casually hash out the past, what happened, why it happened and to see if we still have "it". After a while I'd have to decide if I trusted my ex again and honestly see it possibly working out. If the answer is yes, then I probably would give my ex another shot. If my current relationship doesn't like me talking to them it might make the decision easier, but I still wouldn't jump right back.

 

I say that now, but I understand I have no clue what is in store for me. I might find someone new who I just can't give up and decide my ex had her shot. Who knows.

 

I'll always love my ex and since our breakup wasn't out of cheating, hatred or anything like that I would be interested in trying again.

[TSandullo]

Yeah, I do understand what you are saying, considering my current emotional state. Right now, my ex is still who I consider 'the one' for me and my thoughts keep flying to her.

 

That is why I am trying to keep away from going into a new relationship right now.

 

What did you mean by

 

 

 

If your new guy says no, will you bail on him?

 

What if you were married, loved your new hubby, ex mails you, butterflies appear and the heavens are cleft asunder with your feelings for him returning...

 

I guess this goes hand in hand with other people talking about the 'what if' fantasies...

 

I'm curious to know. Reason being, I'm the type of person who gives his all to the relationship, even when the spark fades, I genuinely would put in the effort to reignite it and make the necessary compromises. Even if my ex came years later and I am married with kids, even if I had feelings for her that overpower that I have for my wife, I would want to make it work with my missus. But that is just me I guess.

 

I am surprised I said that, even though I am still in love with my ex and want her back.

 

TS

[tattoobunnie]

If they were just someone I've dated for a short period of time, and they were okay, versus a person who got abducted by aliens, or stuck on a deserted island and returned, then most likely, I would choose the love of my life.

 

Throw kids/marriage into the mix, then I choose the kids & my husband over anyone else.

[uncomfynumb]

If they were just someone I've dated for a short period of time, and they were okay, versus a person who got abducted by aliens, or stuck on a deserted island and returned, then most likely, I would choose the love of my life.

 

Like in the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks? I think she chose her hubby in the end over good ole Tom.

[tattoobunnie]

hahah...yeah, I was thinking of that, and the TV show, Lost.

[marshmlofluff]

So the question appears to be this: Would I leave someone who loved me for someone who dumped me?

 

Never.

 

Whether or not I still loved my dumper, in my eyes, somebody having dumped you once is a huge, huge, huge strike against him. It shows that the person isn't willing to work through problems.

 

Yes, people change--but that is the exception, not the rule. If I were not presently in a relationship, I might consider reconciling. But I would never risk a new and promising relationship based on the hope that someone had changed.

[milkyway17]

why do you ask this question? Has this occurred to you? Or do you wish this will happen?

 

I am asking this because this has happened to me. I was the girl he was in a relationship with before breaking it off with me because his ex wanted him back.

 

Thanks for all your views everyone.

 

Me, I promised myself that I would never get back together with an ex. Of course, marrying and kids make it a lot more complicated, but I mean just dating-wise. I think that we broke up for a reason; why would I put myself through that again? I'm one of those "People don't change" believers too. Sure, people can ACT differently, but on the inside, they're still the same.

 

I just don't see why anyone would tear down a building to start paving a foundation.