Why love something that you know is wrong.

[Nappyloxs]

Well, for some reason I wrote my ex. Basically I had to call her this morning as her alarm company called me. We spoke briefly and she said I don't understand her or the reason why she broke up with me.

 

So I wrote her and explained why she broke up with me. She ended up calling and once again, negativity and criticism. But I was exactly right as to why she broke up with me (again).

 

I definitely feel strong this time around, but talking to her this afternoon, although it wasn't really a good conversation, just made me realize that for some reason I still just love this girl.

 

I am not upset, sad, or anything. I have accepted it. Of course, it hurts a little bit knowing that this wonderful woman no longer loves me.

 

Yet, our ship sailed a long time ago.

 

My ex. suffers from "grass is greener" syndrome. But with me she became so emotional abusive (I did not even tell her this. I wanted to but I know she would have blown up), and is just plain selfish. She stopped loving me a long time ago to now it is just resentment.

 

I am the cause of all her unhappiness in this life. Serious, it is kind of funny the stuff she says. I mean she blames me for her unhappiness; for the reason our relationship went so sour, etc... She never once looks at herself. I admit and know what I have done wrong. But I am not alone to blame. She doesn't understand that a relationship is 50-50 sometimes and 90-10 other times. That there are good times and bad times even in the most perfect relationships.

 

She mentioned that she thinks she is special, she is above average, that she is better than all these other women out here, that she should be treated like a queen. To me, she was all of those things. To a degree, it is great to think like that. But at the same time, we are all just really average and normal humans except to that one who loves us.

 

I mention this because she never made that type of comment before. Yes, she is thinking stronger and more independent. But at the same time don't through away the person who though of you that way before you even did.

 

Sorry I just wanted to vent. It just is mind boggling that I love a woman who thinks there is some better out there for her, who has not said one nice or positive thing about me in probably over a year, who blames me for all of her unhappiness, and who just plain doesn't love me anymore.

 

My next step is definitely to date again. Even if temporary, I really need to see that there is something better out there for me. That a woman can actually just like me for me and not what she wants me to be.

[Bipolargod]

I can't remember who said it, but I believe the quote was "the best way to get over a woman is to get under a new one"

 

And the reason I think you wrote your ex is rather simple. How can someone you loved so much, that loved you the same way, treat you as if you never meant anything to them? I dont have the answer for you. It sounds like you are doing well, keep at it time heals most things. Get out there and meet someone if youre ready it would probably be good for your spirit. Good Luck.

[quirky]

Hey Nappyloxs

 

She stopped loving me a long time ago to now it is just resentment.

 

If she's not a bad person there is a reason for that..why is that? Resentment usually stems from false promises.

 

She might regret it all later, like in my case it was maybe too early for reconciliation.

[Nappyloxs]

I can't remember who said it, but I believe the quote was "the best way to get over a woman is to get under a new one"

 

And the reason I think you wrote your ex is rather simple. How can someone you loved so much, that loved you the same way, treat you as if you never meant anything to them? I dont have the answer for you. It sounds like you are doing well, keep at it time heals most things. Get out there and meet someone if youre ready it would probably be good for your spirit. Good Luck.

 

Thanks for the inspiration quote

 

The reason for writing my ex. was simple, I wanted to let her know that I get it. I really did not want a response and even though she called it was like whatever. Definitely, not let['s get back together, but help her grow up and learn the things I have learned from this experience.

 

Hey Nappyloxs

 

If she's not a bad person there is a reason for that..why is that? Resentment usually stems from false promises.

 

She might regret it all later, like in my case it was maybe too early for reconciliation.

 

I would not say false promises, but I know and do admit to the problem that started all of this two years ago. The thing is she should have gotten over it, or talked about it more with me. Instead, she let it reside in her all this time and just kept finding new reasons to hate me. It is not at the point, I can't even remember when she last said one good thing about me.

 

We did move too fast during reconciliation, but really it wasn't either of our fault and I had to be there for her. (FYI her roommate kicked her out when she found out we were talking again).

 

Even if she regrets it later, I don't want to be there and hope I am not there. I will be there as a friend as that is just the type of person I am, but definitely just don't want to give her another chance. 3 years, 3 breakups, 3 times her running out ending the relationship. And every time when we do reconcile, it is always my fault and I was always the one who was wrong. She takes no responsibility for her actions, and I am done being the fall guy.

[Bipolargod]

Im glad you see the light.

 

But I also want to say that you should have stood up for yourself the first time and made her take responsibility. Perhaps there wouldnt have been a second or third time. But, thats water under the bridge now.....go live your life and find someone new haha

[Nappyloxs]

Im glad you see the light.

 

But I also want to say that you should have stood up for yourself the first time and made her take responsibility. Perhaps there wouldnt have been a second or third time. But, thats water under the bridge now.....go live your life and find someone new haha

 

Thanks, I do feel like I am seeing the light, but still have to get to the new and improved me.

 

You know I tried for her to take responsibility. Honestly, I don't even really remember what the first time was about. We argued, and the next day she moved out. But it just became a pattern that if I blamed her for anything, I was being controlling, I was being an a$s, or I am just blaming her.

 

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly a pushover. I voiced how I felt many times. But when I did, she would say I am blaming her and I am being controlling. She never to this day looks in the mirror at herself.

 

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink

[Bipolargod]

Thanks, I do feel like I am seeing the light, but still have to get to the new and improved me.

 

You know I tried for her to take responsibility. Honestly, I don't even really remember what the first time was about. We argued, and the next day she moved out. But it just became a pattern that if I blamed her for anything, I was being controlling, I was being an a$s, or I am just blaming her.

 

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't exactly a pushover. I voiced how I felt many times. But when I did, she would say I am blaming her and I am being controlling. She never to this day looks in the mirror at herself.

 

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink

 

Agreed. I'm not gonna lie she sounds like a bia. I'm so happy for you that you got away from her. I completely understand loving someone that is f*ed up. That never ending cycle. Glad you could break away. You said you wanted to try dating, well may I recommend internet dating. Its a great way to start dating again if you are out of practice. Plus sometimes you get benefits from it. Not to say that is what you want, but I'm sure it would be a nice bonus.

[EQIQ]

Man, Don't you just hate it to think about the ex, know that you still love her and be annoyed about it? I mean I have been getting annoyed recently to know that I still love my ex, when really I have no reason to anymore. Dumb heart...

[atelis]

how do you know your ex ever loved you?

 

Grass is greener is usually taken out of context. In your case, i think the situation is simply one of your ex being scared of intimacy........that is very different to thinking there is something better out there. Fear of intimacy usually stems from low self worth.

[Nappyloxs]

Agreed. I'm not gonna lie she sounds like a bia. I'm so happy for you that you got away from her. I completely understand loving someone that is f*ed up. That never ending cycle. Glad you could break away. You said you wanted to try dating, well may I recommend internet dating. Its a great way to start dating again if you are out of practice. Plus sometimes you get benefits from it. Not to say that is what you want, but I'm sure it would be a nice bonus.

 

Not completely free yet, but definitely feel stronger and more motivate than ever to move on.

 

I have decide to try internet dating for starters. Actually really busy at work for the next to weeks so won't have time to really go out.

 

Right now, the thing I want most is just seeing that there is actually something else different out there. The next girl doesn't have to be the one, but just show me that there is actually someone else out there better for me.

 

Man' date=' Don't you just hate it to think about the ex, know that you still love her and be annoyed about it? I mean I have been getting annoyed recently to know that I still love my ex, when really I have no reason to anymore. Dumb heart...[/quote']

 

Yeah, I know it sucks. Like I have said for a while, you just have to accept that you are going to love them for the foreseeable future, but that doesn't mean you still have to be heartbroken and hurt over it.

 

how do you know your ex ever loved you?

 

Grass is greener is usually taken out of context. In your case, i think the situation is simply one of your ex being scared of intimacy........that is very different to thinking there is something better out there. Fear of intimacy usually stems from low self worth.

 

You may be right. I will admit my ex. did have low self-esteem before. She does appear to be stronger and more confident, but I can still see that it is there.

 

She cares about what everyone thinks still, her parents, her friends, her sisters, etc.... She also finds it easier to blame me for her unhappiness. Its good that she feels strong enough to say it's over, she feels that she has control over her life. But like we talked about, she also had control to change the relationship if she wanted.

 

We are at the period in the relationship and at the ages where we have to think about marriage. I am 30, she is 28, we had been together (on and off) for 3 years.

 

Right now, I am glad I did not make that mistake.