Confused

[Stranger]

Hello,

 

wow, never thought I would be doing this but here I am!!

 

Well, I broke up with my ex approaching 4 months and I still feel detached from everyone and everything. I was engaged to this girl as we were together for close to 6 years. She was my first love and I don't know how to handle the way I am feeling. I sacrificed a lot for this girl throughout this relationship and I feel that I was never appreciated for it.

 

I see her a lot at the gym and now she comes in with another person whom I assume she is talking to. It's eating me alive seeing her with this guy but I don't want it to!! We do not speak and have not spoken since the breakup. No one cheated on no one, we just had our differences!!! I don't know why I am posting this, maybe a miracle answer to help me through this!!!! I just hope she feels the same way as I do!!! As far as wanting her back, I don't know....I need someone to sacrifice as much as I do!!!

 

She said it was over and I think she really didn't mean it, as she has done it in the past. I was the one in our major arguments to try to talk things out, and she did with open arms. This last time I had enough and finally let go...I honestly don't know. My family is extremely happy over this result, they were never to fond of her! I guess what everyone was saying about her being very selfish and what not I just didn't see!!! I still miss her deeply and know in reality she is not for me, but afraid to let go!!!! I have always been stronger then this, and it's really discouraging to me to feel the way I do. I feel less of a person to be so attached to someone who I now question even cared for me!

 

If any of this sounds incoherent it's only because the thoughts in my head are the same way!!! I am in a very confused state of mind right now!!!

 

Anything anyone has to say I would appreciate!!!

 

thanks

[QTpie87]

all i can say is talk to people about it, don't bottle it in PLEASE, and no matter how unreal this sounds it will get better with time and you will find someone else and totally forget about her, well not totally, but you wont be hurt as much, i was on this site for months and monts begging people to tell me how to get my ex back, and the truth is if they don't wanna come back they wont and the more you think about it and waste your time hurting over someone who wasn't right for you the harder it will be, and the longer it will take to heal. i think you need to get out with friends and get your mind off of it, and comunicate, okay hun, i feel for you, i really do and im sure others here do to, and i didn't mean any of that to sound hurtful, because i know it did even though i didn't want it to, but the truth is the only thing that will make you better. i really feel badly for you and i hope you keep in contact with me or someone else here to comunicate and talk when you are feeling down. i care and want you to feel better and im sure everyone else here does to.

take care and pm me anytime to talk okay.

love ya,

Qtpie87

[tiger_lilies]

Perhaps you should think about switching gyms? I just think that the constant reminder of her is not helping you move on. It hurts to see the ex, especially if you're not prepared for it. I dread the day that I might accidently bump into him on the street or where ever. I think that I will run and hide if that day ever comes!

 

The healing stage is different for everyone. It certainly doesn't help if you have to see her at anytime. Keep coming to this forum. It has been a source of therapy for me since I can't really talk to my friends or family. They don't seem to understand or care, but the people on this forum do, since most people come here for the same reasons.

[Michael2]

Ditto what tiger said.

 

Seeing her everyday will eat you alive, and seeing her with another, will compound this pain.

 

If attending another gym is not an option, I suggest, if you want this girl back, to talk to her. Do not let pride get in your way, or what your family tells you. You love her, you were with her, they were not. No matter what they say, or what we say, at the end of the day you are the one that has to deal with this situation.

[Stranger]

I want to thank you guys for your comments, your kind words mean a lot!!!

 

I would love to switch gyms, but it would set my ride home back at least a half hour!!! Maybe it's worth it, I just thought if she can handle it so can I. I do think it's getting better, but it's hurts which explains why I am here!! I do love her and will always love her, but Michael I can't see myself doing this all over again. I have tried over and over with her bringing myself to be the bigger person and initiating contact with all of our major arguments. I really think she thought it would not come to this point!! Everyone kept telling me how she would come running back, hasn't happened yet, and don't think it will!! Deep down inside I know it wasn't meant to be, and honestly there is some sense of relief that we didn't get married. We had our problems and at one point I considered pushing back the wedding!! I just have to find it in myself to believe it to be the right choice!!! I guess with all these situations when u don't have it u want it!!!!

 

How can I say I don't care cause that's where I really want to be? My mind is saying forget her and my heart is saying I need her! She is not right for me, why can't I feel that???????

[Ingrid]

Men and women are genetically programmed to attach to each other. Particularly when people have sex, they release hormones that make you attach emotionally to others.

 

For instance, if you decide to date an "INFERIOR" woman you could never fall in love with, just for the sex, you may end up marrying her ! ! ! This happened to MOST of my friends. They were sleeping around and stuck close to the woman who took the most s..t, they eventually attached to them, even though they were not compatible whatsoever.

 

Women know this, and women who have less chances with men because of whatever physical or social reason, will stick longer because they know it is an investment that will pay off.

 

This is why it is much preferable to have sex with people who are compatible with you, with people that you could actually love and respect. The problem is that our society repressed women so much (namely, parents repress women so much, fathers and mothers) that very few women are available for sex.

 

THIS IS WHY MEN AND WOMEN DO HAVE TO FIGHT FOR WOMEN'S LIB. MEN SUFFER A LOT FROM THE REPRESSION AND THE EXPLOITATION OF WOMEN.