The Ability To Feel Is A Wonderful Thing

[Rob1000]

Guys,

 

Most of you have followed my story over the past 12 months. I have been up and down so many times, even sideways a few times too! On Friday afternoon, my and ex and I finally, once and for all, closed the door to our past. Well she had closed it a long time ago, but I finally turned the lock on my side of the door. Even though I felt very sad, it was mostly relief that came over me, finally able to get a few things out that had been screwing me over during the craziest, most heart breaking time of my life.

 

On Friday night, I went out on a second date with a girl I had been chatting to over the past month or so. I didn't think anything of it beforehand, purely because my ex had been on my mind. But when she turned up on the night, my world just seemed to open. I had a really nice night with her, we got on so well, and she made laugh. And she's very cute too!!

 

Ever since that night, I have had a very strange time of it. On one hand, I have felt very sad, finally letting go of a 5 year relationship, with wonderful memories but a heart breaking ending. And on the other hand, I have been very excited, opening myself up to someone new, and a whole new chapter of my life.

 

I have cried and I have smiled quite a bit over the weekend. I'm still sad, yet very excited. When I'm sad I cry, connecting to my past, reaching out and touching a part of my life which will have a huge impact on my future. When I'm happy, I'm thinking of a wonderful new future which is about to open up in front of me, and I get that little tingling sensation inside of me. My emotions are everywhere right now; up, down, backwards, sideways, you name it! But I'm not scared anymore.

 

I've finally let go of someone who I asked to marry me. It didn't work, we move on. There's someone else out there, maybe even this new girl... I hope so! If I hadn't had the heartbreak of the 12 months, the feelings, the wild emotions and despair, anguish, crying, screaming out loud... everything.. I wouldn't be where I am now; ready for the future with someone new. The future is now. The future is beautiful. And I will feel every minute of it!!

 

For all of you, never hide your feelings from anyone. When you're feeling it, let it out. The ability to feel and connect physically with whatever it is that is going through your mind is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I hope I never lose the ability to connect emotionally with where my head is. Because thats how you heel, that's how you let go and that's how you open the door to something new and exciting.

 

I will never forget the way the people on this forum have helped me.

 

Love,

Rob

 

PS: I'm listening to Bon Iver whilst writing this. If 're:stacks' doesn't get you feeling it, nothing will.

[whes]

I am so happy for you, Rob. I read a lot of your posts even though I don't think I ever commented. You've come along way. Don't ever forget the strength you've learned here.

[Hobbes]

ok good stuff rob... big smile from me over here.

 

You realise, now that you feel this way and another girl being in picture with the future looking very good - the ex will probably pop up soon and initiate?

 

jk - enjoy it man! (hopefully kiddin.. )

[Rob1000]

- the ex will probably pop up soon and initiate?

No way!!!

[quirky]

Thank you for your post Rob. I have only recently come to this understanding with the help of a couple of close friends and self help techniques. For a long time I haven't really been feeling it all. Fear, competition towards my ex, pride. I have been sad and talked to my friends but hardly ever allowed my self to really feel it all for as long as it's needed. And it's bloody difficult now, it hurts a lot to allow it, makes me cry a lot Since this is a new process for me I haven't reached the excitement stage yet but I'm really happy you have. You have been so strong.

[Rob1000]

Thank you for your post Rob. I have only recently come to this understanding with the help of a couple of close friends and self help techniques. For a long time I haven't really been feeling it all. Fear, competition towards my ex, pride. I have been sad and talked to my friends but hardly ever allowed my self to really feel it all for as long as it's needed. And it's bloody difficult now, it hurts a lot to allow it, makes me cry a lot Since this is a new process for me I haven't reached the excitement stage yet but I'm really happy you have. You have been so strong.

I will probably still cry for a long time. I've read in so many books that getting it out all is the only way to truly heal. Even if I ever feel like crying a little, I'll let it out. I really do find it therapeutic in a way that I'm connecting to a very significant part of my life. Reaching out and touching it, if you like. Never hold it in.

[PennyLane09]

Guys,

 

 

PS: I'm listening to Bon Iver whilst writing this. If 're:stacks' doesn't get you feeling it, nothing will.

 

that song gets me every time, too! congrats, Rob. Hope to be where you are soon.

[DazB]

Nice to hear Rob

[bungalo]

Twelve months? That scares the S*** out of me as my ex and I were together for 5 years too...I am glad that you have made such great progress. Your future definitely looks bright. Some day I will post something similar about my healing and progress.

[Rob1000]

Twelve months? That scares the S*** out of me as my ex and I were together for 5 years too...I am glad that you have made such great progress. Your future definitely looks bright. Some day I will post something similar about my healing and progress.

Yes you will... 12 months ago, I was reading similar posts as mine... now I'm writing them. Just because it's taken me this long, doesn't mean it applys to you.