Is there a chance to salvage a friendship from this mess I made?

[Salucious]

There is a girl at work I had asked out and she turned me down, at first, afterwards she would act kind of cold towards me, sometimes ignoring me and it made it kind of awkward situation. If you look at my previous post here

 

 

 

it will explain more. Anyway, she seems a lot more normal around me now, and not ignoring or acting cold towards me anymore. Even though I still have a thing for her, I'd still like to try and be friends with her. We just have so much in common, and I don't have many friends, no female friends, and I just would really enjoy having a friendship with her. The only problem is that since I never hung out with her outside of work before, and I had asked her out and she turned me down, I don't think it could work out. I don't think I can count on her ever inviting me to hang out; which I hate since there are two other guys who work there that she hangs out with all the time (I know one is gay, the other is too I think since they are roommates and close).

 

It just kills me that I don't have many close friends, and this girl cold be such a good friend because we have so much in common. But now I feel like I ruined any chance of being her friend by asking her out and making it weird. Before I had asked her out, we got along great, and joked around and everything, and if I hadn't asked her out we probably could have been close friends. Is this still possible, and if so how do I approach it?

[metafisics]

I dont know how asking anybody out can spoil any friendship. You really didnt do anything wrong. She could have told you she doesnt see you that way and life goes on.

 

I really dont have a problem with a friend asking me out, as long as they are big enough to take a possible rejection.

 

One thing off-putting with some men though is that they start being all touchy touchy and eeuww that really irritates the hell out of me. In this case, I do distance myself.

[sickoflosing]

try it out man. ther was this one girl i was real close with as a friend years ago. i asked her out and she said no and it didnt change a thing between us. so in other words just do it man! why beat yourself up with the what if's?

[Salucious]

The thing is, we were never close friends, we work together and never hung out outside of work before, so it seems like a weird transition. And how do I make it happen, letting her know I just want to try and be better friends and start hanging out? Won't she assume I'm still pursuing her? Is there a way to "test the waters" for the idea of her and I hanging out as friends?

[d24]

you only want to be friends with her to prove you're nice and potentially get another shot. 99.9% of the time this will fail.

give it up, and move on mate seriously

[DanDee]

^^ Yup. You'll hold a spark for her even as friends, always hoping she'll change her mind. Is it worth it?!