sunglasses inside - is it rude

[soursobgirl]

Ok, I also think it's a bit strange that he wants to be that close. There is no need for them to be emailing each other. Ultimately she is your friend and not his. There is no reason why he can't get along with her though.

 

And maybe invite someone else along to even it out when you three do something together.

 

he doesnt think this is weird because he uses the example " how come my bestfriends wife emails you *****" Isnt that the same" he says.

 

It's weird - he will email my sister and all my other friends too. There is no harm behind it I think... he just likes to have the feeling of having friends.

 

But yes I think it is creepy, reason I think behind this is because he has no friends. Maybe he has one friend and thats about it.

 

But he cannot see anything wrong with emailing my best friend. Like it was weird he facebooked her " HEY I GOT MY NEW SUNGLASSES !!! " and she is like why is your bf messaging me that? She found it weird. But his thought pattern is - she likes fashion - so he is trying to talk about fashion with her. Then she shuts the convo down and he gets offended.

[soursobgirl]

Ok, I also think it's a bit strange that he wants to be that close. There is no need for them to be emailing each other. Ultimately she is your friend and not his. There is no reason why he can't get along with her though.

 

And maybe invite someone else along to even it out when you three do something together.

 

he doesnt think this is weird because he uses the example " how come my bestfriends wife emails you *****" Isnt that the same" he says.

 

It's weird - he will email my sister and all my other friends too. There is no harm behind it I think... he just likes to have the feeling of having friends.

 

But yes I think it is creepy, reason I think behind this is because he has no friends. Maybe he has one friend and thats about it.

 

But he cannot see anything wrong with emailing my best friend. Like it was weird he facebooked her " HEY I GOT MY NEW SUNGLASSES !!! " and she is like why is your bf messaging me that? She found it weird. But his thought pattern is - she likes fashion - so he is trying to talk about fashion with her. Then she shuts the convo down and he gets offended.

[pumpkinmoon]

That's his wife and not his best friend. It's totaly different. It would be like him emailing your best friends boyfriend. There would be nothing wrong with that because they would be forming their own friendship without you in the middle.

 

I can understand why he gets offended but he has to realise that this type of behaviour isn't normal. I don't know much about the disorder he has, but it's probably got a lot to do with it.

 

Is he having any sort of treatment for it?

[pumpkinmoon]

That's his wife and not his best friend. It's totaly different. It would be like him emailing your best friends boyfriend. There would be nothing wrong with that because they would be forming their own friendship without you in the middle.

 

I can understand why he gets offended but he has to realise that this type of behaviour isn't normal. I don't know much about the disorder he has, but it's probably got a lot to do with it.

 

Is he having any sort of treatment for it?

[soursobgirl]

Yeah I know.

 

There was an instance yesterday where he was emailing my friend ( another one ) and she just suddernly stopped emailing and then he asked me . "why did she stop emailing" How am i meant to answer that?

 

The awful feeling I have inside is that he is bothering these people through email and that they dont have the heart to tell me that its weird.

 

Like he told me he doesnt want one sentance written back to him and closed question. He wants a couple with a open ended question.

 

How do I deal with this.

 

I spose part of it is to do with his condition. He is going to a lady who is going to help him with cognitive brain therapy. If this doesnt work I dont know what else.

 

 

[soursobgirl]

Yeah I know.

 

There was an instance yesterday where he was emailing my friend ( another one ) and she just suddernly stopped emailing and then he asked me . "why did she stop emailing" How am i meant to answer that?

 

The awful feeling I have inside is that he is bothering these people through email and that they dont have the heart to tell me that its weird.

 

Like he told me he doesnt want one sentance written back to him and closed question. He wants a couple with a open ended question.

 

How do I deal with this.

 

I spose part of it is to do with his condition. He is going to a lady who is going to help him with cognitive brain therapy. If this doesnt work I dont know what else.

 

 

[annie24]

well, ever since my former best friend got super mad at me for hanging out (as friends) with her EX-boyfriend (whom she cheated on and dumped 3 years prior!) i stay away from friends' boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. yeah.

 

i get that he probably needs more friends, and he might see your best friend as his friend too. either he has a crush on her, or maybe he is really naive. i wouldn't get too close to a friend's boyfriend either, because i wouldn't want to cross any boundaries or upset her or have her think i am trying to steal him away. maybe you need to explain it to him like that, the 'girl code of conduct' when it comes to our friends' boyfriends.

[annie24]

well, ever since my former best friend got super mad at me for hanging out (as friends) with her EX-boyfriend (whom she cheated on and dumped 3 years prior!) i stay away from friends' boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. yeah.

 

i get that he probably needs more friends, and he might see your best friend as his friend too. either he has a crush on her, or maybe he is really naive. i wouldn't get too close to a friend's boyfriend either, because i wouldn't want to cross any boundaries or upset her or have her think i am trying to steal him away. maybe you need to explain it to him like that, the 'girl code of conduct' when it comes to our friends' boyfriends.

[pumpkinmoon]

I'm really sorry. It sounds like such an awful situation for you to be stuck in the middle. I have had a quick read, there are also medications available too, not sure if he is willing to take this route.

 

How does he react when you tell him that he shouldn't be emailing them?

[pumpkinmoon]

I'm really sorry. It sounds like such an awful situation for you to be stuck in the middle. I have had a quick read, there are also medications available too, not sure if he is willing to take this route.

 

How does he react when you tell him that he shouldn't be emailing them?

[soursobgirl]

well, ever since my former best friend got super mad at me for hanging out (as friends) with her EX-boyfriend (whom she cheated on and dumped 3 years prior!) i stay away from friends' boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. yeah.

 

i get that he probably needs more friends, and he might see your best friend as his friend too. either he has a crush on her, or maybe he is really naive. i wouldn't get too close to a friend's boyfriend either, because i wouldn't want to cross any boundaries or upset her or have her think i am trying to steal him away. maybe you need to explain it to him like that, the 'girl code of conduct' when it comes to our friends' boyfriends.

 

yes he does need more friends and yes he does see my bestfriend as his friend too. He swore he doesnt have a crush on her, he just wants respect from her? She said the other day how can I be attracted to someone like that and by the time we go on vacation in a couple of months I might be single. BIG MISTAKE - I went and told him, then he got even angrier.

[soursobgirl]

well, ever since my former best friend got super mad at me for hanging out (as friends) with her EX-boyfriend (whom she cheated on and dumped 3 years prior!) i stay away from friends' boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. yeah.

 

i get that he probably needs more friends, and he might see your best friend as his friend too. either he has a crush on her, or maybe he is really naive. i wouldn't get too close to a friend's boyfriend either, because i wouldn't want to cross any boundaries or upset her or have her think i am trying to steal him away. maybe you need to explain it to him like that, the 'girl code of conduct' when it comes to our friends' boyfriends.

 

yes he does need more friends and yes he does see my bestfriend as his friend too. He swore he doesnt have a crush on her, he just wants respect from her? She said the other day how can I be attracted to someone like that and by the time we go on vacation in a couple of months I might be single. BIG MISTAKE - I went and told him, then he got even angrier.

[soursobgirl]

I'm really sorry. It sounds like such an awful situation for you to be stuck in the middle. I have had a quick read, there are also medications available too, not sure if he is willing to take this route.

 

How does he react when you tell him that he shouldn't be emailing them?

 

He blows up about respect and what not and if ITS AN ISSUE he wont do it anymore. In a threatening way. Then I am reduced to tears.

 

He is going to councelling I dont know what that will do.

[soursobgirl]

I'm really sorry. It sounds like such an awful situation for you to be stuck in the middle. I have had a quick read, there are also medications available too, not sure if he is willing to take this route.

 

How does he react when you tell him that he shouldn't be emailing them?

 

He blows up about respect and what not and if ITS AN ISSUE he wont do it anymore. In a threatening way. Then I am reduced to tears.

 

He is going to councelling I dont know what that will do.

[annie24]

then maybe you should explain to him that many women like to keep their distance from their best friends' boyfriends so we don't get accused of being boyfriend stealers! afterall, we hear of relationships breaking up all the time because the guy is cheating with his gf's best friend or sister. like shania twain's husband - was doing her best friend!

[annie24]

then maybe you should explain to him that many women like to keep their distance from their best friends' boyfriends so we don't get accused of being boyfriend stealers! afterall, we hear of relationships breaking up all the time because the guy is cheating with his gf's best friend or sister. like shania twain's husband - was doing her best friend!

[soursobgirl]

then maybe you should explain to him that many women like to keep their distance from their best friends' boyfriends so we don't get accused of being boyfriend stealers! afterall, we hear of relationships breaking up all the time because the guy is cheating with his gf's best friend or sister. like shania twain's husband - was doing her best friend!

 

Haha annie I have... poor Shania shes so pretty!

I have explained to him and then he says " thats weird " because with the little friends he does have - they all speak. Even couples who are married still speak to ex gf's of there male friends

[soursobgirl]

then maybe you should explain to him that many women like to keep their distance from their best friends' boyfriends so we don't get accused of being boyfriend stealers! afterall, we hear of relationships breaking up all the time because the guy is cheating with his gf's best friend or sister. like shania twain's husband - was doing her best friend!

 

Haha annie I have... poor Shania shes so pretty!

I have explained to him and then he says " thats weird " because with the little friends he does have - they all speak. Even couples who are married still speak to ex gf's of there male friends

[pumpkinmoon]

As he has just recently been diagnosed, maybe give it a bit of time for it to start working, also ask him to mention this to the therapist. Other than that, if it doesn't solve the issue and he just can't understand it no matter what you do then you are going to have to decide if you can carry on like this. It really isn't fair to you of this continues.

[pumpkinmoon]

As he has just recently been diagnosed, maybe give it a bit of time for it to start working, also ask him to mention this to the therapist. Other than that, if it doesn't solve the issue and he just can't understand it no matter what you do then you are going to have to decide if you can carry on like this. It really isn't fair to you of this continues.

[pinkelephant]

is it possible she had just gotten back from the eye doctor and had gotten her pupils dialated? just a possibility. or maybe she has sensitive eyes or was crying? or has pink eye and doesn't want everyone to see it?

 

it is possible. it is quite judgmental of me, eh? you're right. i am trying to work on it lol. to be fair though, she had the entire ensemble of someone who would wear sunglasses and consider it "cool", the whole tna jacket/bag/etc.. although i have a tna bag too. lol.

[pinkelephant]

is it possible she had just gotten back from the eye doctor and had gotten her pupils dialated? just a possibility. or maybe she has sensitive eyes or was crying? or has pink eye and doesn't want everyone to see it?

 

it is possible. it is quite judgmental of me, eh? you're right. i am trying to work on it lol. to be fair though, she had the entire ensemble of someone who would wear sunglasses and consider it "cool", the whole tna jacket/bag/etc.. although i have a tna bag too. lol.

[soursobgirl]

As he has just recently been diagnosed, maybe give it a bit of time for it to start working, also ask him to mention this to the therapist. Other than that, if it doesn't solve the issue and he just can't understand it no matter what you do then you are going to have to decide if you can carry on like this. It really isn't fair to you of this continues.

 

About 4 days ago.... he has a session on Monday again. I am telling him to write down questions.

 

I mean what would you do in this situation theshoefairy?

[soursobgirl]

As he has just recently been diagnosed, maybe give it a bit of time for it to start working, also ask him to mention this to the therapist. Other than that, if it doesn't solve the issue and he just can't understand it no matter what you do then you are going to have to decide if you can carry on like this. It really isn't fair to you of this continues.

 

About 4 days ago.... he has a session on Monday again. I am telling him to write down questions.

 

I mean what would you do in this situation theshoefairy?

[pumpkinmoon]

Never heard of a tna bag, maybe I'm just not equipped to be wearing sunglasses on a bus!