No contact question - do I reply?

[Michael2]

I think that I should leave it for a bit though - and just give her a bit more space (I don't know how long though).

 

Exactly. Let her call to catch up.

[craigblitz]

Good call, sounds like you are doing the right thing. It is driving me insane not to call her. I just want to say hi and see how she is doing, but I know better than that. I still love that girl, make no bones about it, plus I told her if she wants to talk she has to call me... so far nothing.. dang it.....lol

[Mun]

Ok I am wondering here-have you seen her lately? and if not .. why not? Us ladies like a man who is confident and who makes decisions firmly ( even if he really has no clue). Don't let too much time go by without seeing her in person. You say she has her stuff at your place still-this sounds to me like she is not letting go. Trust me when we want to dump a man we take all our stuff and don't look back-at all. If you continue to just call and text it will seem as though you are playing around and not serious. Do not call and text too much its sort of impersonal-try to set up a date face to face.

 

Now I think it was Michael who said that NC is about the person missing you, if they forget about you then they didn't really care that much. This is so true.

[ascen]

Heres the latest she keeps texting me and asking me for a chat on email and sending me joke e-mails (I'm on a list - but she never used to send them to me before) and I have also had a few missed calls. I have sent back 1 text simply saying "just read your text - what did you want to chat about" - I tried not to show any emotion.

 

My next step will be to call her and say that if she wants a chat then we meet in person. I want to meet her and explain that "I have too much pride in myself to be her plan B, and there is no point in remaing friends because I decided that if there is no relationship then I'm gone (I don't want to be her security blanket) I am also thinking about saying that a new girl that I have met does not like me contacting her (not true - but it should piss her off a little) I hope that she doesn't call my bluff and say ok then - see you.

But I need to move on, I will also tell her that there is no point in calling any of my friends because from now on they will not know anything about my personal life (except my best friend - who's number she does not know)

 

I tried my best - she knows that I love her and always will- but it pushes her away - but when I distance myself - she comes closer. I have no idea why!!

 

I hope that this is the best thing to do because I don't want to hang on until she meets someone that she really likes and then dumps me all over again. There is no point in being friends - not yet anyway.

 

Has anybody else been in this position with a positive outcome?

[ascen]

My last post may have sounded a little harsh, because I really am not a nasty person - but what I was trying to say was that i don't want to play any more games.

Anyway - what ever the out come you probably wont be hearing any more from me. - I will either have her back (unlikely) or I will be moving on. - SHE CAN'T HAVE HER CAKE AND EAT IT!!! - because I'm hungry too!

 

So thanks for all the advice it really is greatly apreciated and I have learned a few things - mainly that next time I see the signs - I will be the one doing the dumping - because I can't go through this again.

 

It's a psychological game and although I want to play - it's hurting me too much especially all the analysis and I feel that I am running out of time before she moves on her self and forget's me.

 

Take care people and good luck and I hope that maybe this thread has helped 1 or 2 people in the same situation.