So scared I will always be alone..

[Betty79]

It is really worrying me lately, I turned 30 last year and it just feels as though most of my friends are settled in happy relationships now, moving in together with their partners and settling down. I split up with my bf of a year this time last year...it was my decision, the relationship had gone a bit stale and I dont think he was the one.

 

Since that I met somebody over the summer and really liked him but he "wasn't ready for a relationship", we dated for 3 months and split in August. He has maintained contact on and off and we even met up a couple of times over the past month or two but he is completely hot and cold and I haven't heard from him for a few weeks now and just get the feeling I wont anymore.

 

The thing is all my friends are at the age where they have gone off the pub / bar scene and dont really want to go out anymore. I have tried online dating but its not really me and I try to keep active, get out and about, go to gym etc but i dont really meet anybody that way.

 

It just really worries me at times, not just because i want to be in a relationship but because i really want kids and a family too and i feel unless i meet somebody soon then this may not happen for me.

[Richard-]

You're still really young, I wouldn't worry about it so much. Just keep trying to socialize and network with people. Most of people in relationships were introduced to each other through friends or friends of friends. Plus, I don't really know if the kind of guy you want is to be found in a pub/bar anyway. People there mostly just want to hook up in my experience.

[unknownme]

I'm pretty sure that the one is around the corner, don't worry. Many people are now visiting a lot of Online dating sites and I've heard of tons of sucessful relationships, especially because everyone there is looking for the same thing.."to settle down". yes it will take a few dates and a few frogs but eventually you'll fine the one...

[guynextdoor]

I'm in your shoes but I don't give up hope. I'm 34 and single parent of 2. Very little time for my social life but I'm not going to let that bring me down. Find ways to socialize, it doesn't have to be clubs or bars, there's other ways.

[FathomFear]

It is really worrying me lately, I turned 30 last year and it just feels as though most of my friends are settled in happy relationships now, moving in together with their partners and settling down. I split up with my bf of a year this time last year...it was my decision, the relationship had gone a bit stale and I dont think he was the one.

 

I know the feeling. I recently turned 30 and have the same fears. Unfortunately, I am even more far behind the eight-ball than you. I have never been on a date before in my life, etc, and getting started with any of that seems quite foreign to me.

[petite]

I totally get what you are saying. I turned 29 this past August and that really hit home for me that a lot of my good friends are either married/engaged or in serious relationship.

When I was with Mr. Ex I was content, because we were planning on spending our lives together, now that is not happening.

 

I worry about finding someone compatiable and someone with the same goals as I do. People say that person will come, don't force it, there is someone for everyone, even I myself give thata advice to others, however taking our own advice isn't always what we do.

 

I like you want a family and kids and it is a bit scary thinking about turning 30, especially when I thought by 30 I'd already be married to him, planning a child.

 

But we got to keep thinking positive, and things will work themselves out. Have faith in yourself and your abilities.

[DanDee]

Yeah, there really isn't anything else you can do apart from going out and socialising. Think about joining clubs and societies that interest you. Go on to dating websites too.

 

Just try and continue being your happy self and you will inevitabley meet someone.

 

And pubs/bars DO work. My uncle met his "soulmate" in one last year and he's never been happier -- and he's 45!

[Betty79]

Yeah, there really isn't anything else you can do apart from going out and socialising. Think about joining clubs and societies that interest you. Go on to dating websites too.

 

What sort of clubs and societies do people here do? Any suggestions?

[sweet_kisses]

One of my friends had just turned 30 and she was telling me the same thing a year and a half ago. She's getting married in July!

 

That being said, I'm 26 and I'm also scared..

[DanDee]

Ever considered voluntary work? Do you enjoy enjoy drawing/painting? Walking or any kind of sport? Book clubs? Anything that interests you really...

 

That said, it is a very normal thing to feel though... almost every single woman will feel it, regardless of age. I do very often, and I'm 24.

[nordland]

I too have the same worry...I just turned 30 and got broken off with before Christmas...I was planing having a child with this man. Now all that is just memory.

 

If I were you I would stick with the married couples...I heard it once that married couples always look for hooking their single friends up and it´s true. When I was in a relationship I did the same, hooking people up.

 

Also, join clubs not pubs. Nothing serious can come out of that. Volunteering also works, a lot of kind people would go there and you might meet someone. It´s all time investment but if you choose something you like it will also make you happy. Love is truly just around the corner, just be confident and let the love find you. It found me once and I was not even looking for it.

But remember: Men sense desperate women, like dogs sense fear.

 

Good luck.

[LAYAAN]

I'm afraid of ending up alone too and I've always been that way. I am the only child and I hope I find a man to marry.

[MakestheBest]

One of the fattest men alive ( he weight in at around 880 ) pounds. I think he lived in new mexico or somthing. He had a priest come into his room, so that he could get married without having to get out of his bed. You hear that?? He was cut-a-hole-in-the -wal-and-lift-me-out-with-a-crane fat. And he still got married.

 

You are so not going to be alone.

[agony]

If i were a woman, that would not be very reassuring to me.

[Lovelace]

haha. Must have been an online love. It's not like he met her while waterskiing.

 

Anyoo, my advice is to face the possibility, head-on. Really think about it, think about your options, and think about if it would be so bad. It would suck, yeah, to never have that nuclear family...but what could you do instead?

 

I have a ton of nieces and nephews and family members to satisfy that 'need a family' urge (though I speak of it as differently than the pop-out-some-kids urge). I would probably have more money. I can satisfy all of my insane and useless hobbies forever. I can wear granny panties any time i want. I can talk about PMS until the cows come home and no one will grumble. My hair can be a mess whenever, and I can do whatever I want forever. I can travel much cheaper also.

 

It's a tradeoff, understand. If you never found someone (and odds are you will). When you lose one thing, another thing becomes possible.

 

And it's not just you. I think the way society's been changing, at least in America, there will just be more and more singles because....hmm, before I go into rant mode, you're not the only one, you never will be.