Relationships which moved too quickly--good and bad experiences

[dolcedolore]

I'm getting involved with someone and it's going pretty fast (emotional rather than physical, especially since over Christmas break we can only see each other about once a week). He's such a great guy, and seemed so sure right away that he liked me and wanted to see more of me (actually said that--he's very direct). At first I wasn't sure, and I knew that he had more feelings for me than I did for him. That's starting to change though, and I really do like him. We either text or talk on the phone off and on throughout the day, everyday. He's already started to call me pet names, but the first time he did was out of a reaction to something I said that I was embarrassed about. He's done it off and on since, and last night he asked me (over texting) if it bothers me, and that when he feels comfortable around someone he likes he just can't help it, but if it bothered me he would stop because he wants to respect me and doesn't want to overstep boundaries.

 

It is going fast, but it really doesn't feel wrong, I'm just concerned because I've taken things quickly in the past (but with the wrong guys... this is different) and because I've always heard that things should go slowly. So my question is, does anyone have experience with this? With things going really quickly? How did it turn out?

[rosephase]

My boyfriend and I said "I love you" on our 2nd date. Had sex on our first. (1st and 2nd happened two days in a row) Moved into together three months later and he met my parents about a month after our first date and are still together over 4 years later. Going fast doesn't always work, but neither does going slow. Even though it worked for me I worry about people making big life commitments to soon. But what you talking about doesn't sound like a big life commitment, it just sounds like someone liking you. Talking everyday sounds normal to me. So if you’re feeling it don't worry about it.

[Lissy]

What you're describing doesn't sound so strange. It doesn't sound like either of you are throwing out "I love yous" or talking about marriage or moving in together. My one and only experience with moving too fast did not end well. My ex-fiance told me he loved me after 2 weeks of dating and asked me to marry him after only one month. I moved in with him after 9 months together. We were together for more than 3 years, but unhappy for much of that time. And it ended badly. I often wonder if we would have stayed together so long if we hadn't moved so fast. I think it can work out, but you have to be careful. I don't think I would do it again.

[Oh hay its Jai]

do what feels right for YOU. if he is someone you are suppose to be with, he will follow. just enjoy that you have someone who likes you, nothing wrong with that. if you dont like it, tell him. be honest and open. if you continue to think its moving too fast, back out of it. dont stay in a relationship unless you are happy.

[fawndango]

My boyfriend and I said "I love you" on our 2nd date. Had sex on our first. (1st and 2nd happened two days in a row) Moved into together three months later and he met my parents about a month after our first date and are still together over 4 years later. Going fast doesn't always work, but neither does going slow. Even though it worked for me I worry about people making big life commitments to soon. But what you talking about doesn't sound like a big life commitment, it just sounds like someone liking you. Talking everyday sounds normal to me. So if you’re feeling it don't worry about it.

 

Wow that's great. I usually start off saying let's take it slow and it never seems to happen. I personally think going fast or slow doesn't guarantee a relationship will work out. If it is going fast and you are both moving at the same speed I think its great. My ex that i just broke up with moved super fast in the beginning, it made me nervous, I relaxed and matched his pace. Needless to say, he put the brakes on, slowed down and i was still moving along fast, and so he did a 180. I don't think there is a recipe for love so enjoy the present and don't think about the future.

[Oh hay its Jai]

Needless to say, he put the brakes on, slowed down and i was still moving along fast, and so he did a 180. .

 

that is what happens...guys do all these things and expect the girl to be okay with it, but then once the girl sucks it up and deals with it, he changes.

 

its frustrating.

[Melting]

that is what happens...guys do all these things and expect the girl to be okay with it, but then once the girl sucks it up and deals with it, he changes.

 

its frustrating.

 

I soooooooooo hear this..

 

In the beginning guys are like a seagull too a chip!

[Jd1983]

My bf and I moved rather quickly early on into the relationship. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it. We've been together for about a year and a half, and we are still very lovey dovey and affectionate with each other.

 

I think it's fine to go at a pace that you feel most comfortable with. Like you've said, every relationship is different. Seize the moment, and enjoy it.