"What do I need" during sex

[matius]

I'm dating this girl who will stop while we're having sex to ask if there's anything I need or that she could do.

 

First, while I completely understand how cool & sweet that is, I'm not the best when it comes to communicating my needs, but frankly I'm a bit confused as to how or what to say for some reasons:

 

A) I want to say yes please keep moving

B) Maybe she means a glass of water or some melba toast with jam

C) I think, hmmm, are you saying you're not sure what to do?

D) How far should I take it? We're just getting to know each other... not sure I can say, "yep, close your eyes" and then put on a leather pig mask... break out all the toys & say "ok turn over". I mean that seems like a dangerous question to me. I want to explore but how fast...

 

How might you respond?

[annie24]

i think she means, 'do you want me to do this harder or faster' or 'should i wear a pig mask' or 'do you want me to do xxxx while i'm doing xxxx as well?' well, if you get an idea in your head while making love, tell her!

[epicproportion]

does she say it like she's unsure or embarrassed? or does she say it seductively and like she wants to please you? her tone matters here.

 

as far as what she's asking you totell her, tell her what feels good. if she asks if you need anything, say "i need you to ride me" or something.

 

what's your level of comfort with her? how long have you been together?

[matius]

No, she's says it in a way that she wants to please me & do well. I think we have a very high comfort level only knowing her for a few months...

 

Good points...

[epicproportion]

so in that case, say what you want if she's eager to please!

[Day_Walker]

Tell her what you want her to do. It could be an indication that she wants to be told what to do (meaning she might like that). Personally I wouldnt question it, I would just got with it.

[matius]

And so it shall be. Thanks...

[tastytoothpaste]

Tell her exactly what you need lol

 

She's probably feeling really insecure in bed, and feeling like she's inadequate. She wants to put your pleasure first. She wants to be the best sex you've ever had. So when she asks, simply tell her "when you did blah blah, it felt soo amazing" or if you just don't want her to stop, encourage her with a, "no baby you're so perfect, this feels amazing, don't stop."

 

I've asked a similar question in bed once, but definitely not because I was feeling insecure. She might be exhausted and is wondering why you haven't cum yet and just trying to get you to the brink faster.

 

Don't be shy about what feels good. She's asking for a reason.

[eleanorrigby1]

that is the funniest thing i have ever read i am laughing out loud ha ha ha melba toast with jam! ha ha ha ha you are funny!

 

 

I never used to be very vocal about what i liked in bed and i was very very shy about talking about sex (repressed catholic upbringing) so my partner asked me (when we had been together for about 5 months) what my fantasy was.. i am ashamed to admit i started giggling.. and i was 26 at the time!! i felt sooo childish i couldnt bring myself to say it..

 

we have been together for years now and so i have no qualms saying what i like.. but i wouldnt stop sex and ask him what he needs, it can completely knock someone off their rhythm ha ha!! bless her, maybe you should to the 'whats your sexual fantasy' chat when you are both sharing a bottle of wine and curled up on the sofa, and not during the action itself.

[last-longer]

may be, she is a bit unsure of what you want and that's why she asks questions..?

 

just tell her you're fine and she should relax as well

[InBruges]

Definitely ask for the toast. I'd like to know if that works.

[annie24]

lol. "I'd like a ham and cheese sandwich with a glass of apple juice."