Can't understand her thought process

[regular joe]

I sent the Ex another e-mail in September about what she plans on doing with her many belongings that she still has at my house. We are almost at the six month split mark. I kept it simple Hi, how are you doing, what are your plans for your things here. I also said I wish I could understand why you will not talk to me and heard your having a little bit of a rough time, which I hope is not true. So she has her lawyer brother respond, she only responded to one e mail in early September " Yes i want my things, I will be there soon." and nothing. He makes a couple of lawyer noises, as I call them, in the letter. I send back a very well worded reply to him. In it I tell him I will be happy to set a date and time, but we also have to resolve a few other issues and he can contact me by phone or e-mail, so we can clear everything up. I also explain that I in no way have stopped her from getting her things and that I have gone so far as to offer my help in moving them. He received my letter mid October ( sent it certified mail as he did his.) and I still haven't heard one single word from either one, it's been just shy of three weeks now. I passed her on the road last Saturday, so it's not even an out of sight out of mind kind of thing. If your going to go that far I would assume you would follow up, clear up all the matters and be done in somewhat of a timely fashion. I still love her but if she doesn't feel the same, she needs to come get her things.

[Skillpadde]

Pack it all up and ditch it at wherever she's at now. If you don't know where she's living, leave it with her parents (if they're near), a friend of her's, her work place. Make an active effort to get rid of it, and get the remains of her out your life so you can move on.

[coolchick64]

Yeah, this situation is no good. Just pack up her stuff and tell her where she can pick it up (or tell her lawyer!) Jeez . . .

[regular joe]

I should have mentioned in his letter he stated that any attempts of any form of contact with her, any member of the family or friends will be considered harassment and they will take what ever legal means necessary. Her parents and the aunt she lives with are all elderly and have enough health problems to deal with. So dropping her things to any of those people/ places are out of the question. Besides which we still don't solve the other matters that need to be resolved. I can contact him only because he is acting as her lawyer, not her brother. I don't think he's contacted me because he doesn't want to deal with the elephant in the room and it is the reason why we are not together.

[DN]

Send him a registered letter stating that you have now made several attempts to arrange for the return of her property to no avail and that therefore this is the last attempt. Say that unless you hear within thirty days how she wants her things returned you will consider that she has abandoned them and that you will therefore dispose of them.

[regular joe]

My lawyer told me 45 business days from when they received my first letter it is abandonment. Then I have to send another one certified mail and give them 10 days to respond. If no response, I am free to do whatever I see fit with her things. It's mostly her holiday stuff, things of sentimental value from her grandparents and her son's childhood. I just can't understand why she has to do it this way. It's not my first long term relationship or even first person I have lived with that ended. I have just never had someone who would not talk and come to an agreement on how to finish it up. I guess she is still mad at me, but she refused to get her life together. It's the hardest thing I have ever done, I still love her more than anything in the world. I just couldn't watch her destroying herself anymore and the problems it caused.

[rigguy]

sending it to lawyer/brother seems appropriate