How Often Do You Cry?

[Rob1000]

I've found myself crying at regular intervals throughout the day today after finding out yesterday that my ex has a new man. I guess I'm finally swallowing the final pill, but it hurts, really badly I must admit.

 

I was curious to know just how often you guys cry over your broken relationship and how long are you out? I'm out almost 9 months and am still crying. Feeling pretty pathetic for a grown man, I must admit!

[OneBrightStar]

I'm two weeks out and I'm crying every other day.

[pace of ace]

Finding out your ex has a new man is tough to take, but in some ways it can be that final piece to help you move on. You're not pathetic for crying after 9 months. Goodness only knows the amount of times i cried over my ex, even after 9, 10, 12 months... But when my ex got a new boyfriend, that was it for me, i knew it was time to move on and let it go. And happily after about 20 months, i'm over it once and for all. And you will be too, just take as long as you need.

[IGlareOften]

When my boyfriend broke up with me...I cried about every two hours for nearly 3 weeks. After that...I cried probably every other day for about 7 months. You shouldn't feel pathetic. Different people react in different ways. So people had more invested or tied to that person...some people are more emotional than others. Heal within YOUR timing and don't compare yourself to others. You're you...not me. You will react differently. But believe it or not..crying is good. Let yourself cry and don't feel shame about it.

[BraveStar]

I'm a little over 3 months out of a 2 year relationship and I cried yesterday. I've no idea what brought it on, I walked into the kitchen and it just happened. Other than that I usually shed a few tears a couple of times a week. It's getting less and less which can only be a good thing.

[supercalifragilistic]

I cry pretty much daily. It's been a litter over a month. In the beginning I used to cry pretty much non stop. But now I'm getting better. But if I had found out my ex was seeing someone else, I'd probably be like you, crying my little eyes out. If I can help it, I hope to get over him before I find these things out.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Do you have a strong support system?

 

I believe that men who worry about being manly do not open up to their friends about their hurt and, because they do not vent and let it out, hold onto the pain for a longer time than other men and women who cry to their friends.

[darkblue]

It's a release that you should be grateful for, on some level. When you get to the point where you want to cry and feel that want for release; but cannot - that is the problem.

 

It becomes a festering torment to have the feeling of sorrow but being unable to release it.

[Rob1000]

Finding out your ex has a new man is tough to take, but in some ways it can be that final piece to help you move on. You're not pathetic for crying after 9 months. Goodness only knows the amount of times i cried over my ex, even after 9, 10, 12 months... But when my ex got a new boyfriend, that was it for me, i knew it was time to move on and let it go. And happily after about 20 months, i'm over it once and for all. And you will be too, just take as long as you need.

Thank you. That post makes me feel so much better!!

[Mustachio]

Im almost 2 months out of my relationship... I have cried maybe twice, but usually only for a couple minutes, and not in about a month at this point.

 

I think thats mainly because of the fact that my ex was really just bad and not being with her is actually much better than being with her. I have been sad, but mainly at the loss of familiarity, beyond that, I am not so much sad at the loss her of her specifically.

 

But really, dont worry about it, crying is fine, and I think in your situation, especially after reading a lot of your recent posts, its ok. You are on the right track and things will be just fine for you.

[pace of ace]

Thank you. That post makes me feel so much better!!

 

 

You're quite welcome Rob

[dandan78]

I've been crying pretty much daily, this last week. There are times where I actually try and get to the point where I cry because I am finding it easier to express and understand my feelings when I do.

[Rob1000]

Do you have a strong support system?

 

I believe that men who worry about being manly do not open up to their friends about their hurt and, because they do not vent and let it out, hold onto the pain for a longer time than other men and women who cry to their friends.

I have a great supportive system. I've worn them out!!

 

I have been more expressive with my feelings over the past 9 months than I've ever been in my entire life.

[surfNski]

5 months for me and I still cry regularly and I to feel like its pathetic. I think I would be a wreck if/when I find out she has another guy, after this long I know she does but with NC I can take some comfort in never really knowing. Or maybe you are right maybe thats the last step needed to let her finnaly go.

 

Good luck Rob, hang in there, one foot in front of the other...

[In the Dark]

I remember the time I cried and couldn't help it.

 

Of course it is devastating to hear how your ex is moved on if you both had been in a long term relationship.

 

The second time though I was all out of tears.

I just couldn't cry anymore.

[rigguy]

4 months after my 5 year relationship ended, feel like crying daily. No tears but same feeling. For the most part this feeling returns when I am by myself. An hour and a half daily commute to work doesn't help. I have learned my ex is dating someone this past Thursday too and have been for a couple of months. Definitely knock the ground from under my feet but wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Should be able to dust myself off by the end of the weekend I hope. To me it is better to know it all then being in the dark, wish she'd say something earlier.

[quirky]

Yeah Rob, I don't think it's strange you're upset considering what you found out. You were together with her for quite some time..I also think this will probably be your final tears so to speak. Like SurfNski said, NC keeps me in some sort of ignorance.

 

When I first split up I thought the world had come to an end, the pain shocked me. These were super dark times..I'm out about 3 months and it kinda depends on the days. I cry a lot but I always did regardless of my ex. I even used to cry of joy when I was younger...!

[decoxemergency]

3 weeks since the break up, Day 9 of NC. I still cry pretty much everyday.. every other day if I'm lucky

[zoe111]

Not long after break up for me and i havent cried much recently so im counting myself lucky! although sure one day it will hit me again all over. Im just going through the keeping busy im better off without you stage in the hope it lasts! Normally any emotion from me now about the ex comes from obsession and is anger or annoyance rather than tears. I guess it just depends how it all ended.

Keep going rob any day now you might meet miss right and just imagine the smiles your going to get then x x

[chinup]

nothing wrong with crying. you got to let it all out, and not feel like you should be better. these things don't have a time limit.

 

I go through stages - for example, went nearly two weeks without crying, but last week cried every day as I was feeling so depressed. it's good and bad times...

[WomanWriter]

Hey there Rob,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your ex fiance. Just accept that this is a painful situation worth crying about. I cried too when I thought my ex had someone else and I know that when he really does and I find out, I will be crying again.

 

Oh, as far as crying...I cry at least once a week and it's been 9 months out for me too. Some days I go without thinking of him for most of the time (if I'm doing something fun or working), but there are nights and mornings I feel so helpless that I cry my head off.

 

Last week, in fact, I was so upset after he came to drop off my stuff (a few days later), that I cried hysterically, fell on the floor, curled up into a little ball, and drooled. I couldn't even help myself. It was that gutteral, deep grief kinda crying where the tears pour out, down your face, and your stomach feels like it's coming out of your throat.

 

I've had smaller bouts of crying too...just little things. I'll be sitting there reading a book or cleaning my bedroom, then something reminds me of him and I choke up and the tears come out. It's worse when other things in my life suck...right now I'm unemployed so that really compounds the feelings of helplessness and grief about the future.

 

Hang in there, Rob. This will pass. It has to.

[uj2004]

For me, less than 10 times since the split 8 months ago I would say, and only twice in the last 6 months.

 

From reading everyone's posts here, it seems like maybe I am more aware that I am better off without her than I previously thought.

[jaylh25]

Rob your still in the grieving process and finding this out was tough to hear. Crying is the bodies defence mechanism and its perfectly natural. Just let it out, nothing to be ashamed of. The tears will become less frequent.

 

Dont get too caught up with thinking about them or this other guy. The grass isn't always greener and who knows, she may be sat there thinking what an idiot she was for letting you go as her new guy isn't a patch on you.

 

Best cure for you is to start getting out there now and start returning some of this attention you've been getting off the girls you've been mentioning.

[Singler]

It has been 3 months or so since he broke it off, in hte past have cried 1 time, which was this morning and I was on the toilet, it only last 3 seconds.... I got over it quickly just missed how last year he invitied me to go trick or treating with his kids, but now I cry more over dating then him, dating really sucks!

[allgood]

i feel yah man, i guess its just you have alot more memories. But its just a setback on knowing shes with someone else.

 

i actually cried when i read your thread about not meant to be together. It didnt last long though.

 

I guess let it out, you've invested alot more feelings than most of us here cause you've commited so much more emotionally and length wise. You'll be better in a few days, just try your best not to dwell on it. For a 5 year relationship and coming out of it your doing great Rob. It's like what you said, it's a up and down journey and this is just the down part. Youll have more ups in the coming days.