thomas more Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 A female friend of mine took up a sexual affair with a neighbor who she later was told by me was a registered sexual offender. Her husband knew they were 'friends' and spent time together. She continued to carry on with him after he moved away and took up residence in a motel a few miles from her home. He was stalking her. Last friday he slashed a tire on her car after gaining access to a locked parking lot in the building because he sold his place to friends. He told her he slashed it to prevent her from going to a party, but that a friend would put a new tire on it. While that was being done, stupid woman that she is, she went to his room with him and at one point took a shower. She came out of the shower and he was holding her cell phone and started yelling about whom she was calling and begain to beat her. She screamed for help and contined while he beat her in the stomach, chest and head. It was described as worse than his sexual attack. The motel called the police and a report was filed. She did not press charges. That next monday she obtained a Protection order from him. Tuesday she strongly indicated she was going to press charges. She said she was happy she never left her child with him alone. We have not heard from her since, often times an indication she is with the former neighbor. On Thursday the Protection order was closed. He would have been served the papers on at least Wednesday. She was badly bruised and had a slight concussion from the beating. She was infatic to my wife that she would have nothing more to do with him. She was indicating to us that she was staying with family whom were providing her medical care and taking photos of the bruises as evidence. The website for the county where they live indicates no charges against him, and his offender listing shows him living in the motel yet. She has a son by her current husband. If she pressed charges than it's good odds the husband would take the child in a custody battle because of her infidelity.. I think. She has a relative who is well placed with the local police and encouraged her to press charges. I am very concerned that she had closed the order so she would be able to be with him, perhaps with him 'black mailing' her about the affair and loosing her son. Could she have closed it at the advice of her attorney and with her relative having contacts as the do, getting the local DA to press charges, not her, yet to come, and with not having the order in place it can't be brought in to court during a trial or hearing about the battery, thus protecting her from dealing with her husband taking the son? Or, do you think she is suffering from 'battered wife syndrome' and gone back to him? I'm afraid that the next time he will do worse, and will be 'smarter' as far as criminals go and make sure he does this where no one will be able to help her as the motel staff did or in a way that no one will hear her. I'm afraid to call and ask her what' going on, because she might lie to me and say that everything it taken care of, and still be going on with this offender. I've indicated to her that I can't be her friend if she's going to be with him. Perhaps that was a mistake to say. Can someone ease my mind on this, or speak to some experience with the legal system? Would they help her out by keeping the sexual nature. I want to be a good friend who I think has created a bad life for herself, if I can and am very worried about her safety. This is a very violent man with a bad temper and she needs to get away from him. But I can see how she is trapped in a situation she created. Anyone have some helpful thoughts to rest my mind, or is all hope lost? Link to comment
jul-els Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 There's nothing you can do. She is an adult making her own choices with her life. They are really bad ones, but it's not your responsibility. The best thing you can do is to stay away from it. Link to comment
DadaJones Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Give her the number of a battered woman's shelter...and move on...don't be so sure of who is manipulating who here. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 She's a grown up, she can make her own choices. She knows what is what and has relatives who are well placed to help her. Reading your past threads, you need to move on. For all that this guy has been "stalking" her, you have been stalking him. It's not healthy. Link to comment
XxxMUAHxxX Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 The only expierience I have with this is that I was beaten by my ex... on NUMEROUS occasions.. And too be honest, for some reason that I still do not know today, I felt as if he was the only one in the whole world that loved me and ever would love me. It was like he had me brain washed.. She may be doing this, or maybe she thought she'd give him a break and that just by getting the order of protection that it would scare him from coming near her again.. You never know though... she could be honestly telling the truth and be with family just trying to get back to good health. Other than that, I do not know what you want... Try to stay calm and just relax.. As the last poster said, she is an adult and going to do what she wants no matter what you do.. If you speak to her soon, just stress to her your concerns and hope that she will learn from what you are worrying about. And if worse comes to worse... go to her husband.. It will hurt her now, but in the end, it may save her life. Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 Is this the same woman you have been posting about since January? And is this the same guy? You have multiple threads throughout 2009 about a woman you are obsessed with who has been having an affair with a man who is a registered sex offender. From what i can gather from your other threads, this woman lives far away from you, and if it is the same woman, has been seeing this man for almost a year. I'm very sorry that your friend is in this situation, but she needs to take the steps to get out of it. Link to comment
Sparchitecht Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 A) Abuse screws up human beings worse than much else can. Unless you're a superhero plan on flying in and saving her from herself, forget it, because more than likely, B) This woman sounds batcrap insane and in need of being distanced from for the good of all with sanity. Not only has she carried on with this guy, she's done so whilst being married with a child to another person, after the tire-slashing, etc etc. I'd not be surprised to put a microphone to her ear and hear bat-squeaking resonating from within. Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I agree with the others, she made her own choices. All you can do is give her the number of a battered women's shelter, but if she doesn't want to press charges, nothing will happen. She's basically stuck between a rock and a hard place. Link to comment
gsxr104 Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 You can try to call her. There are ways of knowing when people are lying to you over the phone. She has made a decision to be with this man, so there's nothing anyone can do except her as far as charges are concerned (battering, assault,etc...). As far as her son and her husband. She's pretty much already sealed the deal for her husband to take full custody. She wouldn't of had to press charges to jeapordize that one. If her husband had any sense at all, he would of already had that being processed. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.