Planning a Wedding!

[Maroney555]

Where to start?

 

We don't really want to hire a coordinator since they are so expensive, so if anyone has planned their own wedding...where do we even start?

 

Even if I change my mind about hiring a planner, which I likely will since I am in school and have enough stresses ha, I still don't even know where to start

 

All advice is welcome and thoroughly appreciated!

[waveseer]

I am going to take a wild guess that there are wedding planning websites that will help you step by step.

[Ac143]

I planned our wedding & it was easy cause there wasn't that much to do lol & not tradional. From engagement to wedding was a total of 6 months. We got married on the beach so first thing was to pick a place for the ceremony. Sent out invitations.

 

Our reception was in our backyard with a huge tent. Next was reserving the tent, decorations, tables, chairs etc etc

 

Then we had to decide on who will cater it. Then the flowers & DJ....FYI - get a DJ that is experienced in doing wedding. Some dont have a CLUE & will make it a horrible night.

 

The Cake!

 

Next was wedding dress, who will do my hair, makeup etc the day off. Please make sure you have a trial run of your makeup/hair before the wedding. His Tux. Rings.

 

We didn't have bridemaids or groom men just a flower girl & ring bearer.

 

Also dont forget the marriage license! Hmm Im sure there was more, I just cant think of it right now.

[Maroney555]

I am going to take a wild guess that there are wedding planning websites that will help you step by step.

 

Alright, sarcasm isn't necessary....

 

I would prefer someone who has experience that has done it to pitch in advice.

 

But thanks.

[Maroney555]

Wow 6 months! I am stressed because of a year hahaha. Cool, thank you so much! You really felt like there wasn't much to do? We want a really simple wedding as well. I would love to have a reception in our backyard, but we don't have one hahaha.

[Ac143]

I had a list going from start to finish, once 1 thing was done I checked it off. It wasn't that bad...seriously. I mean I was stressed dont get me wrong, I had a feeling I would miss something. Like the party favors I forgot until the very last second, but spending money for a wedding coorindator was not worth it for me. I knew I could do it. You have a year, plenty of time. Ask some friends or family members for help if you need it.

 

Oh yes, budget and decide what kind of wedding you want is definitely the 1st step!

[Dinka]

I have helped a friend plan her wedding once. The very FIRST thing you HAVE to decide - and COMMIT to! - is what kind of wedding you want: big? small? traditional? non-traditional?

 

That is your very first step, and it's no joke! That will determine how much you're going to spend and how much additional sort of planning needs to get done.

 

What I did was make an excel template for my friend, which included every little detail of what she would need, outlining costs both estimated and actual. ALWAYS stay in your budget for EACH thing...because once you start saying, "Oh, I can spend a few extra dollars on THIS," then you'll find that you've spent one too many extra dollars here and there.

 

Once you decide these things, then you can start focusing on the pretty stuff: location, for one! Do you want your ceremony and reception in the same place? What's covered in each location and what will you have to provide extra?

 

It's really important that you get your budget outlined before you start looking at specific things or details. Starting the other way around will only end up getting confusing and you'll end up stretching yourselves thin!

 

I love planning events...so much fun! I'm very happy to help if you have any other questions!

[Maroney555]

Ac: thank you so much! you have been so helpful! you are exactly right, i am soooo scared that i am going to forget something stupid and it will be ruined! hahaha

 

Dinka: oh, i will keep you in my contacts just in case

[waveseer]

Alright, sarcasm isn't necessary....

 

I would prefer someone who has experience that has done it to pitch in advice.

 

But thanks.

 

Well, I have done it. And if I were ever going to do it again I would find a website to help me manage it.

[kaoticbaby]

hey. i've never planned a wedding BUT i do have a secret obsession with bridal magazines. there are a few (if you go to barnes and noble) that have checklists of what to do. it starts off from a year before and gives you a list of things. then 8 months before, 6 months before, 3 months, 2 weeks, a week, etc. All the advice i can give you, though, sorry!

[_Asti_]

hey. i've never planned a wedding BUT i do have a secret obsession with bridal magazines. there are a few (if you go to barnes and noble) that have checklists of what to do. it starts off from a year before and gives you a list of things. then 8 months before, 6 months before, 3 months, 2 weeks, a week, etc. All the advice i can give you, though, sorry!

 

I've read that one, or one similar by Real Simple.

 

link removed

 

Here's the link for it online.

It breaks it down by time line and by what month you're in.

 

Also link removed is another great website.

 

They also have a wedding planning/checklist section.

 

link removed

[Batya33]

For whatever it's worth we planned ours in about 6 weeks. Our reception was 10 people for lunch at a restaurant but honestly it wouldn't have been much more work if it had been 50 people. I bought the dress in under an hour (off the rack, I was in my 6th month of pregnancy!), the shoes in under an hour (bridal shoes), ordered the cake from a local bakery (traditional wedding cake), and my friend's father who is a florist supplied flowers

 

I know you are referring to a much larger reception (to me the wedding is the ceremony, not the party), but I also planned one of those (that I canceled) - about four months in advance - I found the dress (traditional wedding dress), the hall, the florist, the invitations, the photographer, the band, the caterer in a few months. I don't think you need even 6 months - it depends how picky you are about the details. To me it was more important to spend that time planning the marriage because I found the party planning stressful and mostly boring.

[Kumatora]

I have helped a friend plan her wedding once. The very FIRST thing you HAVE to decide - and COMMIT to! - is what kind of wedding you want: big? small? traditional? non-traditional?

 

I agree with Dinka. I never got married, but I had a best friend who was a control freak and tried planning out her own wedding. She was doing the link removed and holding a big reception for those, like me, who couldn't afford to get out of the country and attend a wedding. The wedding itself was not very organized... well, how can you organize it when it's outside the country? The reception itself (making the party favors, hiring a photographer, finding a place to rent, finding a dj, getting open bar, etc) was the most stressful part. After dealing with the wedding plans, she advised me that it's a better idea to hire a wedding planner...

 

My boyfriend's brother's wedding was small. Him and his wife planned it together and had little trouble planning it out. It was held at a church and then the reception was at a small hotel. Their wedding was gorgeous!

 

but like dinka says, it really boils down to how big of a wedding and reception you plans to have.

 

Smaller receptions and weddings are easier to self manage I think.

[Maroney555]

I think that I am like you! Thank you for the input!! I care SOOOO much more abou thte wedding....not the reception. It's sad.

 

So I (hopefully) don't get heat: my parents got married on a fluke in Vegas......... then my mom eloped again and they want me to have a "real" wedding...which is what increases the stess

 

Just for very summarized back story

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks everybody for all of the input though!!!!!!!

[Batya33]

I think that I am like you! Thank you for the input!! I care SOOOO much more abou thte wedding....not the reception. It's sad.

 

So I (hopefully) don't get heat: my parents got married on a fluke in Vegas......... then my mom eloped again and they want me to have a "real" wedding...which is what increases the stess

 

Just for very summarized back story

 

 

 

Oh I understand about family pressure but of course your mother shouldn't try to re-do her life through you. Maybe there's a way you can tell her that diplomatically?

[anggrace]

To tell you the truth, my wedding was more for our families and my husband than for me. I told him Id rather save the money for a great get-away and skip the "show" but I could tell it was going to disapoint. I see no harm in having a celebration for the family, so I went ahead with the planning. When it was all said and done, I felt really good about it. The part that's most memorable was seeing my family so happy and just being with my new husband. I loved the warm, simple atmosphere and the food and music was very special/unique . Those were the things that were important to me, so that's what I focused on when planning.

 

my advice would be this-

 

1-Start planning way ahead of time so that it doesn't consume all of your time.

2-DON'T sweat the details like napkin color, nails, etc. The more you care about those meaningless details, the more likely you are to be disapointed.

3-Give your parents something they can do, like hand making invitations or putting together the little table "gifts". Something to to keep them busy, and out of your hair with the more important things.

4-Don't invest in anything you're not certain about. Take all the time you have until your sure. Im talking about food, music, dress, etc.

5-Ask your fiance what he would like... in detail. There might be a certain way he'd like to see your hair, or maybe there's a color scheme he has in mind. You never know. Let him have say in some of the planning.

6-get a good photographer. That doesn't always mean the most expensive either.

7- have a good time!!!!

 

Hope this was helpful.

[anggrace]

How's the planning going??

[Maroney555]

Hi ang-

 

Thanks for checking back!!!!

 

Planning is going interesting...we have decided on something small in Tahoe next month....kind of a "whoever can come, please do!" Hahahaha....something ridiculously mellow and fun with a small amount of people.