Why is it so hard

[confusedgirrl]

This is the second time I have had to type this out so maybe that was a sign that I should keep this all inside but I need some advice so here goes.

 

I am finding it so hard to let go and move on, i know he said he is thinking about getting back with his ex but for some reason neither of us seem to want to stop talking with the other. I am not sure NC is possible because I have to see him everyday and interact with him.

 

Last friday I came to work and before I could sit and get comfortable he sent me an email both on my work email and blackberry just to say I look nice. Everyday he comes in he either comes to my desk or I get an email or call to say good morning and from there we talk for the entire day. Why cant I get angry with him and tell him to leave me alone.

 

he told me that his ex think I am a threat because he talks to me alot and wants him to end his friendship with me but he told me that he told her he would not. Why would you put your relationship at risk just to remain friends with me???? I know there are still feelings on both our sides but for some reason he refuses to cut contact with me.

 

I dont want to think he is keeping me as a back up as he generally seems interested in my life and what is going on with me. We talk to each other every day either by email, phone, text or msn. I have given him several chances to end our friendship but he is still there. The very few time we have had arguements they never last long and within an hour everything is back to normal. He told me that he doesnt like me being angry with him or when he is angry with me.

 

This morning we got to work at the same time and he realised that something was bothering me and he kept asking until I would tell him what it was and he made me smile. he said he doesnt like to see me upset and he loves to see me smile.

 

Maybe I am reading too much into things just because I dont want to give up on a proper relationship with him. I dont know, I am just confused. He has to care something about me, the fact that our friendship could possibly ruin your relationship with your gf should be enough to make any sane person back away from me but he is still there.

 

Someone give me some insight or talk some sense into me so I can let go for good.

[waveseer]

This is a tough situation to be in and it can be very, very trying. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at the situation from a non-involved person's viewpoint to gain perspective and motivation. The truth is, if he wanted to be more than friends with you he would.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

i wouldn't want to talk to someone who left me for their ex...

 

they made their choice.. now you don't get me...

 

i would ignore his comments and emails... let him know that he can't sit on the fence with this "friendship" bs..

 

a friendship isn't made by emails and cute comments.. its also made up of respect and caring about your feelings.

 

i don't get the impression that he is really thinking about you or your feelings.. i get the impression he is using you for his own needs... his own selfish ego driven needs.

 

and if you feel thats what your worth ..then continue to talk to him...but if you feel that you are worth more- tell him to take a hike.. you have enough friends.

[kalikat]

i know he said he is thinking about getting back with his ex ...

 

he told me that his ex think I am a threat because he talks to me alot and wants him to end his friendship with me but he told me that he told her he would not.

 

Okay... reality check.

He's thinking about it? Really? sure he's not already back with her?

 

And if they are back together, very much doubt he would tell her the truth about your friendship with him.

This guy is a classic. He will tell whoever is near him at the moment exactly what they want to hear.

Sorry for seeming so cynical, but I know way too many like him.

Its all ego-driven behavior.