alice1485 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 This is day 4 of our break and it's been complete hell for me. I hate not knowing what's gonna happen. I hate not hearing his voice. I hate not having his arms around me. And everytime I think about the beginning - how great we were together, how we never fought - I just want to break down and cry. I want him in my life. But I don't know if he feels the same way. I initiated the break because I sensed that he wanted to break up with me. I've been crying almost non-stop these past 4 days. Meanwhile, I'm sure he's been chilling and relaxing -- taking me for granted like he always has. I'm just not sure I can keep doing this for two weeks. I want an answer so I can either be miserable or happy. I had an idea this morning that I would text him in the middle of the night pretending to be drunk just to see if he's been thinking about me. That's crazy, I know. But I'm thinking about doing it seriously. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 DON'T DO IT! You both agreed on two weeks of no contact. So please try to stick to it. You even mentioned that you are not sure how he feels about you and he was quick to suggest a break. Please give yourselves the time to figure things out and see what you both want in a relationship. "Expect the worst, but hope for the best". However, if you're not on the same page, and both of you are unwilling to change to make it work, it'll be pretty difficult to make it happen. A relationship is based on trust and compromise, without it you have nothing. Please be strong and wait it out! Don't do anything silly that you may regret later. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 I looked at your other threads and quite frankly I think perhaps this relationship is not ideal. He was lifting your dress at a party!...he immediately put up photos of his exs when he moved but did not think to put up one of yours right away...you are very insecure with him..for two reasons...you are insecure AND he is doing things which play into your insecurities. Do not be so desperate to be in a relationship with him...he is not so special...look how he has treated you. You want to be back with him simply as a knee jerk reaction to the panic you are feeling about the relationship being over. This break is really the time that you should be honestly evaluating the quality of this relationship and if the two of you are really a suitable match. Judging from what you wrote it doesn't sound like this match is very healthy for you. Breaks usually mean break ups..it is the first step in a break up when two people are not quite ready to verbalize that the relationship is over. I think you need to seriously reconsider this relationship...forget about what he is planning...it sounds to me like he wasn't that into the relationship anyway. Don't cling to someone who is not treating you right and who does things which push your insecurity buttons. Link to comment
alice1485 Posted September 11, 2009 Author Share Posted September 11, 2009 i know i know i know. you're both right. and this probably wont mean anything to you two but i love him. and he has positive attributes that you don't know about. he has brought much happiness into my life but those are the things no one posts on ENA. i can't let go. i know he's hurt me. i've told him he's hurt me. but i feel like, if he just compromises and takes my feelings into consideration, that we could be great. am i stupid? am i just blind? am i used to him? it's so easy to say that i shouldn't cling to him, but i love him, perhaps against my better judgment. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 The thing about a break is for it to even remotley work both parties need to agree and accept the terms. You only went on this break for his sake, not yours, and now your regretting it. If you dont want the break. Call him up. Ask him to meet, call and end to the break and ask him one way or another what he wants. Link to comment
aldridal Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 The thing about a break is for it to even remotley work both parties need to agree and accept the terms. You only went on this break for his sake, not yours, and now your regretting it. If you dont want the break. Call him up. Ask him to meet, call and end to the break and ask him one way or another what he wants. Agree with this. Everything I've ever heard about breaks is negative. The key to a relationship is communication, and two weeks of not communicating is not a good thing IMO. Talk to him, say you want to decide now, and that if it were up to you, you'd love to work on things. If he says, "No, I need more time," then you pretty much have your answer anyways. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 i know i know i know. you're both right. and this probably wont mean anything to you two but i love him. and he has positive attributes that you don't know about. he has brought much happiness into my life but those are the things no one posts on ENA. i can't let go. i know he's hurt me. i've told him he's hurt me. but i feel like, if he just compromises and takes my feelings into consideration, that we could be great. am i stupid? am i just blind? am i used to him? it's so easy to say that i shouldn't cling to him, but i love him, perhaps against my better judgment. You think that if he just compromises and takes your feelings into consideration that you could be a great couple...but the thing is he has to WANT to compromise and take your feelings into consideration. You can't convince him of this if he doesn't care enough to make it happen. Plenty of relationships split apart at the seams because one person just doesn't care enough about the other person and the relationship to change hurtful behaviours. You have to go on what he is doing to you now...on his behaviour now, not on what potential he has that he may choose never to live up to. Many people who are jerks to their partner in some ways can have amazing qualities. However you have to take in your overall state of mind...if the pain you get from this man is much more than the enjoyment you get from him...if you spend your time mostly unhappy with him and what he does than happy with him and what he does, then this relationship is not worth hanging on to because you will completely lose your sense of self. Link to comment
amipushy Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 You will never know if he misses you if you text him. You will never know if he would have contacted you first if you text him. You will appear weak if you text him and it will turn him off. Be strong, if he wants you, to apologise to you, to change, and all those things you need from him, he NEEDS to be the one to let you know.. Link to comment
MCR7 Posted September 11, 2009 Share Posted September 11, 2009 You will be disappointed in yourself if you do it. So please don't. Think about how sick you felt when he was treating you the way he did. You are NOT responsible, I know how this ride goes in your head, trust me. Go back and look at your post re: being sane enough to know what you do and do not deserve. These things TAKE TIME. Think about how you have felt after you have been in his company: not good. I have been in love with potential many times, and it is exactly that. Potential is not reality. I am feeling you, but do not not not contact him. Feel the feelings, write everything down(don't post here, pen to paper.) Walk it off, call people - just don't contact him. Tell yourself you will wait until tomorrow. Anything. Link to comment
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