Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[ebik]

Mark,

 

I want you to know that I'm letting go. I've had my closure and I've moved on. Now its time for me to let go of all the hate, anger, resentment, hurt and bitterness. It was eating me up from the inside out and it wasnt me.

You hurt me more than you'll ever know, and thats why we can't even 'try' to be friends now. But really, you don't deserve to have me as a friend, and deep down I know that it's probably much easier for both of us this way. So I guess everything happens for a reason.

 

I use to think that if I ever saw you in the street or out at a bar, I would probably punch you, spit on you or just flat out ignore you and act like you don't exist. Now.. I'm not sure what I would do, I think it would feel strange to say hi and have a conversation with you, but sometimes I think that it would be nice to one day (even if it's years from now) be able to do that. Catch up on what each of us has been up to and reminise on the memories we shared together for all those years. I don't think I am quite at that stage yet, as I still think it would bring back too many emotions and still confuse us both, but one day, when we have both moved on and are both happy living separate lives maybe that could happen.

 

I looked at the photos of us today, of the book I use to write in about the fights we we had, the birthday card you gave me one year and a note you left for me one day before work. I didn't cry, I think I even smiled to myself a little. It's starting to be less emotionally charged, where I can just look back and remember the good times and let go of the bad stuff. It's all in the past now, so why clog up my brain with bad, unhappy memories.

 

I wonder if you kept the momento's of 'us' or threw them out? I dont think I will ever throw mine out. They are memories, they are apart of me. What has helped make me who I am today. Thats what I believe about our relationship, while we had our ups and downs, I dont regret any of it as without all those emotions, experiences, memories, I wouldn be who I am today.. And i think you would be proud of that person.

 

I am a strong, independent, caring, kind hearted person. And while you will never be apart of my life again, you are apart of my history and what makes me, me.

 

Thankyou Mark for the good years we spent together, for the laughs we shared and memories we made. I hope you never forget me, as I will not forget you, or the time we spent together!

[ebik]

Mark,

 

I want you to know that I'm letting go. I've had my closure and I've moved on. Now its time for me to let go of all the hate, anger, resentment, hurt and bitterness. It was eating me up from the inside out and it wasnt me.

You hurt me more than you'll ever know, and thats why we can't even 'try' to be friends now. But really, you don't deserve to have me as a friend, and deep down I know that it's probably much easier for both of us this way. So I guess everything happens for a reason.

 

I use to think that if I ever saw you in the street or out at a bar, I would probably punch you, spit on you or just flat out ignore you and act like you don't exist. Now.. I'm not sure what I would do, I think it would feel strange to say hi and have a conversation with you, but sometimes I think that it would be nice to one day (even if it's years from now) be able to do that. Catch up on what each of us has been up to and reminise on the memories we shared together for all those years. I don't think I am quite at that stage yet, as I still think it would bring back too many emotions and still confuse us both, but one day, when we have both moved on and are both happy living separate lives maybe that could happen.

 

I looked at the photos of us today, of the book I use to write in about the fights we we had, the birthday card you gave me one year and a note you left for me one day before work. I didn't cry, I think I even smiled to myself a little. It's starting to be less emotionally charged, where I can just look back and remember the good times and let go of the bad stuff. It's all in the past now, so why clog up my brain with bad, unhappy memories.

 

I wonder if you kept the momento's of 'us' or threw them out? I dont think I will ever throw mine out. They are memories, they are apart of me. What has helped make me who I am today. Thats what I believe about our relationship, while we had our ups and downs, I dont regret any of it as without all those emotions, experiences, memories, I wouldn be who I am today.. And i think you would be proud of that person.

 

I am a strong, independent, caring, kind hearted person. And while you will never be apart of my life again, you are apart of my history and what makes me, me.

 

Thankyou Mark for the good years we spent together, for the laughs we shared and memories we made. I hope you never forget me, as I will not forget you, or the time we spent together!

[sweetleaf]

still love you.....its not just gonna go away.

[holdingon]

Its scaring me to forget. Wow, I came here to vent and I really have nothing to say to you. Its all been said before. I've pined for you, ive talked about you, ive thought about you, ive cried for you, ive regretted you, ive forgiven you. Its over. Im bored when i think about you. Who would have thought? I thrived on those memories, and sometimes thrived on the intense emotion they brought. It was like loving you again. But i dont feel that intense emotion anymore so its just...boring. It serves no purpose in my life. I could laugh at how much easier the days get. So many people find themselves stuck. And im not, im moving forward. Slowly, but definitely forward. Just please, please, do not contact me. I couldnt think of anything worse for me right now.

[newinvention]

I have tried very hard over the past few months to let go of you completely without permanent success. It seems that the as soon as I do fully let go, there is an instant re-connection to you. I've come to realize that this connection is not from me; it is from you. I know there is a part of you that is still holding on to me. I am asking you to please let that connection go. You cannot have it both ways. This is what you wanted; it is not what I wanted, but it is what I want now.

 

We cannot work under the current circumstances. We cannot be together until we have healed as individuals and grown strong as individuals. If you truly want the very best for me, then release me and allow me to heal. Give back the remaining pieces of my heart so I can love again.

[OptomisticGirl]

When we went on vacations you always wanted to eat ice cream.

 

I always said no.. it would hurt my teeth or I wasn't in the mood for it...........

 

Why in the world did I not just eat the ice cream with you????

[holdingon]

I did something I regret last night bub.

I went on her twitter. I know its none of my business, but it is my last connection to you. She is my last available connection to you.

She said something that sent shivers up my spine. My heart started pounding and I couldn't stop shaking. I thought I was going to be sick. It was shock and it was jealousy. I knew the second I looked how wrong it was of me to do that. The words she wrote repeated over and over and over in my head all night.

I know its wrong to assume. As I dont know you or her anymore, and I dont know the circumstances. But im really worried. I need you to be okay. And I need them to be okay too. I know that losing them would absoloutely destroy you. If what she wrote means what I think it means, which I have absoloutely no idea so this worry is probably pointless, but if thats what it means, then bubby Im sorry. If I could I would be there in an instant, you know that I would. I know we went through alot and it will never be repaired, but that is horrific. Noone should have to deal with that, especially alone. I know who would be there for you. But I also know that people aren't replaced, and that a situation like this is when we would lean on each other.

I learnt my lesson, Im never going on there again. Its too hard. But I am praying for you, and praying its not true.

Does letting go mean not loving you anymore? Im not sure. I guess sometimes I still do, even in the process of letting go. Bonds like that don't just disappear, for either party. I guess there will always be something there, its just something that we can't act on, its not solid enough for even the weight of a simple friendship, let alone a relationship. Thats okay.

Miss you today. I hope your alright.

[ebik]

I have been thinking about you... do you still think about me?

 

i want to forget...

i want to run away...

i want for just one day... to be able to lay with you, have you hold me and make all my troubles go away! You use to lift the weight off my shoulders and take me to a better place... i dont know how to get to that place again on my own!

 

i still think about u every day, despite everthing thats happened, i think deep down i do still care and maybe even love you..

 

I dont know how i am ever going to find that again with someone else...

[sickoflosing]

why did you have to leave me the way you did? to find out u was cheating a few days before christmas!! since our f**n anniversary! u didnt even say happy aniversary either! u were sick n went to the bedroom to text that guy up!! you are a selfish b**why did u have to crash in the ditch leaving so u had to come back when i wanted over with you? then i was so stupid and listened to you saying we can work this out. i enjoyed watching u freek out that nite u all panicky n throwing up. u hurt me more then i even been by any other girl ever. u couldnt stand seeing so much hurt on me that last week. u couldnt even eat all week and puked constantly too. grrr. u said u wanted to be friends too. how could i ever do that? u just messed with my head all week long too. all those things u said i still think of. i most importantly miss our dog u took. u always said i could see him if we broke up and still the day u left. u changed your number ..will i ever get to see our pet?? u were more abusive to me then i ever was. u knew i got mad u texted guys from work after you got home but u didnt even care.f*** you! u kept pushing my limits over and over. just when i was finally getting somewhere in life i get kicked down again. im sick of it happening.u knew how depressed i was. u gave me silent treaments for a looong time. u werent there for me when i needed you the most. i want to beat that guy u got suckered into believeing.. know u gunna be used up. i know he will...and dont think your crying back to me.i bet u hated how much i said what u would do before u even did it huh? do u even feel bad for what you did at all? or do u have to lie to yourself to think that u was right for you leaving. im glad you left. i miss the dog more then u anyhow. he always was there for me and loved me while u was gone. and u take him away to go out to be a wh***. i took care of him not you. i especially love the reason u gave me for leaving..that i didnt trust you. serves you right b*** cuz i didnt. now i have to live back at my moms whose goin through a divorce herself. my family did alot for us while yer richie parents didnt do s***!! and then u take irreplaceable things that i cant get back from you. im glad you cried after u gave me your reason to leave me when i turned around and didnt say another words as i left. you cant even call to discuss the outstanding bills we have from our old place either. your parents will pay everything. i wont! immature selfish little b***. get played n used up by that player u fell for. all his lies got u good hehe.

[hopelessincan]

well. after months of being in denial, i think i have finally realized that we are truly over. It took spending the weekend with you to know. To be honest, Im not sure that i even care anymore. I still dont understand why you even agreed to it. But what does that matter? I havent understood anything you have said or done for the last three months.

Now I have to make the decision of what to do...I think at this point you probably are regretting begging me for us to stay friends, cause I somehow screwed up yet again. Worst part is I really didnt even do anything this time. Thats what is so funny about us. We are both guilty of trying to read the other ones mind. So why is that? Why are we doing this to ourselves? There is obvious tension. why?

I think its because we have unresolved feelings. One of us has to be the strong one and walk away. We cant keep holding on to each other like this. Do you realize that every single time we spend time together, that i am crying once you leave? Youre not all that. So what is it about you that I love you so much? In my mind, no one compares to you. it sucks knowing that i could find someone better. We are very different.

I got told last night that you werent the one for me...what do they know. But I guess there is truth to it. If you were the one, you'd be here with me right? I was also told that you were still holding on because youre afraid you wont find anyone better than me. That you hope you do, but you dont think you will. I actually believe it. I wouldnt have before....but ive realized that i am a good person. Sure I have issues, and sure I have a really bad way of coping, but everyone has their faults. I spent so much time dwelling on my bad side...No more. You have to take the good with the bad so they say.

do you really think that a friend would care that i walked away to go find a seat? Like really.....we get in an argument over that? what friend does that? we both have to stop...we're walking on eggshells around each other...analyzing what the other is doing.

Anyhow I have to go pick up my car. see you in two hours....yeah i know i said i wasnt going today, but what else is new right? You hate that i say one thing and do another...im just giving you more ammunition so you can lose the guilt of leaving me.

[HopefulLove]

I don't hate you, I nothing you dear. You led me on and threw me away because you met her. You deny she made you end it, but it's obvious you decided you preferred her over me.

And no, I wouldn't have hit you last night. Don't flatter yourself because I don't actually care that much.

 

I can't wait for you to realize what you have missed out on.

[fentiger]

You're so pathetic! running back to your ex. You take her out with all your new buddies, i spent the last 4 years with you and what do I get.... I HATE YOU SO MUCH! You should never have chased after me 4 years ago, you are the biggest mistake of my life and I wish i'd never met you!

[seizeyourwings]

I feel like I'll never find someone like that again, someone who knows me that well, who I love so much, who I can be so completely comfortable around. I feel like I won't find another best friend who's also my other half. I'm scared. I know it just comes with the breakup, but it's a horrible feeling.

[seizeyourwings]

Why won't you call, why won't you text? Part of me doesn't want you to, but part of me wants you to come back and for things to be how they were. Do I mean nothing to you?

[HopefulLove]

You know what.

 

I have been feeling crap all day because I gave into your attention seeking and spoke to you.

 

Well no more, this is the start of the end. From now on, I will forget you existed. I only knew you for 3 months anyway so it's no actual great loss. You were a five second blip on my radar and that's it, nothing more, nothing less.

 

Just remember how you threw me away when you change your mind in the future, I don't give second chances.

[holdingon]

Oh god. I want to contact you so bad. I can't believe how well I was doing, and now for some STUPID reason I feel like you might be nice to me if I did. You wouldn't! You made it so very clear. So why the hell is this thought in my head. I need to get rid of it and I dont know how. I hate you again because im so tired of feeling this rollercoaster. I need out. I need you to be gone. I need to forget. I need my life back. I need control back. But theres noone to stop the tears like you could. Im exhausted.

[WomanWriter]

Hey L,

 

I saw your mom's latest photo album (Christmas pics). Wow! I expected you to be all lovey dovey with your new girlfriend, but you were the only family member without someone. I saw your older brother with his wife and kid. How cute. I also saw your younger brother and his girlfriend. They are cute too. I even saw comments from your younger bro's girlfriend on your mom's page. Comments from everyone, actually, but not your girlfriend apparently.

 

Your mom labeled the photos nicely for everyone, but for you she just put your name. You weren't really smiling in your picture, didn't look that attractive. I wonder if you were lonely, missing the past 8 Christmases that I had spent with you and your family. I noticed what your sister in law got for Christmas...it must have been from you because it something you like. Just like you...a selfish gift giver, always giving things to other people that you, yourself, want to use. Look, videogames are fun for women, but your sister in law is not a big gamer, don't you know that? Why do you continue to buy selfish gifts for people? I guess you're the same old L.

 

It was just weird seeing you. You cut your hair, but you look older now and not as cute as I remember. Your smile is different somehow. You used to be all blushy and cheesing when you smiled. This time, you looked polite and distant. Sure, it's just a picture, but comparing our pics of last Christmas to the ones of this, you sure look different! You looked SO HAPPY in the pic with me last Christmas at your parent's house. You are winking and blushing.

 

Oh...oh...even though your profile was blocked, somehow I managed to see it. There is nothing juicy to my surprise. I even saw part of your girlfriend's profile. Boy, I'm not too impressed. I know that sounds mean, but at least you aren't much better off, eh.

 

Maybe you are. Who knows? All I know is your mom congratulated me on my own relationship and that was sweet yet surprising.

 

I do miss you except somehow you are a stranger and I can't even really remember exactly what we'd do, how we'd talk, etc. I imagine things would be really different now. I feel almost like a different person, so to relate to you would be like devolving.

 

I don't know though. It'd be interesting to catch up sometime, although awkward for sure.

[Alstott Fan]

As bad as it sounds I'm still pissed over the BS you pulled on me. You had no moral qualms when it came to cheating on me, but now you all of a sudden have these new found morals and can't cheat on your new man. I'm also pissed that you claimed to have "prayed to God" and that he told you to cheat on your husband. Newsflash for you sweetheart, if that was the answer to your prayers then it wasn't coming from upstairs, more like south of Heaven.

 

You also are dumb enough to let your user of a friend use your name to turn on her utilities. This is the same woman who can't fold a job except stripping and is 40 years old. Nice role model you've chosen for yourself. Were all the junkie streetwalkers busy when you were looking for one, so you settled for her?

 

I know what you have to do to rationalize your behavior over the last 4 months, and I know you have no choice but to cling to this new man because if you don't then that means you made a mistake, which would mean you were wrong. And we all know that YOU can never be wrong. SoI hope he's willing to put up with all of your nasty, disgusting habits and crazy family, because if he walks you're on your own and I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

 

 

[AutumnBorn]

Well, when we spoke tonight, you were obviously watching TV and didn't feel like talking, so I told you we'd talk another time. I wanted to ask if you'd watched those home movies, but it seemed like a huge interruption, so what was the point? Sometimes you're no friend at all - you hardly seem human.

 

If you weren't so self-centered, self-absorbed you might actually have a relationship. You don't engage in conversation, you simply answer questions. You don't ask for anyone's opinion, don't ask about their lives or interests, or talk about anything significant. In fact, you are the least engaging person I have ever met. No wonder you're alone. You don't take anyone else into consideration. Oh, wait, you've got Patricia, sort of...but she told you she wasn't looking for a relationship. Imagine that - a plain looking, poor, middle-aged cancer survivor isn't interested in a relationship with a fairly successful, very intelligent, extremely attractive man. You think it could be a personality issue? She'll continue to date you, have sex with you, but I think it has more to do with how much money you spend, obviously not that she's considering a future with you.

 

Last night when you asked about my "going out of town" for the weekend at the end of the month. Did you even hear me say I wasn't going out of town? You have a very high I.Q., but you haven't figured ouit that my new guy is going to be here for the weekend? We have no intention of getting out of bed unless we decide to have sex in the living room. That's why you have to keep our daughter.

 

God knows, I can hardly wait to tell you about him, but you'll have to ask. I don't want you to think I'm trying to make you feel bad by telling you how great he is...He's extremely intelligent, extremely successful, kind, spiritual, thughtful, engaged. He knows what you're just figuring out, that I'm special, that I'm worth the effort it takes to nurture a relationship, that I'm smart and beautiful and witty and any man would be lucky to have me.

[scared12]

i miss u..

 

i know how much you love me

 

i hope you will understand one day why i did it, why i did everything possible to keep me away from you...

 

i still think about you every day, 8 yrs

 

i wish i was stronger , i wish i could just pack my things and leave...

 

but I'm with you in my dreams...

 

I'm sorry

[amabel196]

Ricky,

 

You were there for me when no one else was. At first I didn't think you were going to be the one, I didn't give you a chance. But I opened up and I let you in, because I wanted you to be the one for me.

I am so glad that I did.. I never would have had this wonderful 3 years with you. Thank you for being there. I am in so much pain babe, you would not believe.

I think about it all of the time, it tears my heart apart.

The thought of you hating me, it makes me feel so much pain on the inside. We were supposed to spend so many more years together.. What went wrong?

It feels like you have died, it's so hard.

How do I deal with this Ricky? You were the only one for me.

[wlh22]

well.. its been a year you haven't contacted me.... i kept contacting before that and you ignored (for whatever selfish reasons).... what am i supposed to think now?

 

don't know what to say

[PennyLane09]

i can't believe it but for once, i would say NOTHING....there is NOTHING left to say...

 

if i see you at Bonnaroo this summer, however, I'll make it a huge point to say nothing...There...

[holdingon]

I dont want to forget. What a waste of 3 years of my life if all I do is forget you. I loved you & I loved us

So what do I do? I really need some help. I know what youd say, youd remind me of everything I had and the people that loved me. So im trying to remind myself. But its so hard sometimes. Knowing that they arent you, and that noone will ever be you.

Someone said once said to me that when you love someone and you lose them, they fill up this massive space inside of you, and you cant escape that. They said to put that "space" away somewhere inside you. And that as time goes on the space gets smaller and smaller. Im trying. Im trying to not forget you, but put you away. I dont think its realistic to think you will not be a part of me, you always will be and its kind of nice to accept that. Its kind of nice to know ive been touched by someone, something really beautiful. Its so much more peaceful than being filled with hatred.

Writing this is making me cry, but thats okay. I havent in a while. I have a nice day planned, with my best friend. The best we can do at the moment anyway. I know that in those hours with her that i wont think about you, but youll always be there when its over. When its quiet.

Im kind of excited for this year and its strange because I wish i could talk to you about it. But you not be a part of it? I just read back over this and ive realised how much things have changed.

The lyrics of a song just came on as I was typing that,

"I never thought it would hurt this much to be saved"

I didnt. But I feel like I have been saved, in one way or another.

[holdingon]

Also, I cant believe how much this describes how I felt. How??? How did it happen, how did it end up that way. Thank god those days are ending. But im glad someone in this world has written exactly how I felt.

 

Now I will tell you what I've done for you

Fifty thousand tears I've cried

Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you

And you still won't hear me, going under

 

Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself

Maybe I'll wake up for once

Not tormented daily, defeated by you

Just when I thought, I reached the bottom

 

I'm dying again, I'm going under

Drowning in you, I'm falling forever

I've got to break through, I'm going under

 

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies

So I don't know what's real and what's not

So I don't know what's real and what's not

Always confusing the thoughts in my head

 

So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again, I'm going under

Drowning in you, I'm falling forever

I've got to break through, I'm

 

So go on and scream

Scream at me, I'm so far away

I won't be broken again

I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under

 

I'm dying again, I'm going under

Drowning in you, I'm falling forever

I've got to break through, I'm going under

Going under, I'm going under