How many of you guys don't want to get married at all?

[bingedrinking]

I know I don't. I will never do it. I don't think it is worth the trouble at all. I don't want kids anyway so I don't really see the point in marriage. But I do want a committed relationship. I don't know if I can find a woman who doesn't want to get married or have kids and yet want a committed relationship.

 

I hope I get a lot of responses from women

[Lonewing]

I really want a woman

I really want marriage

I really want children

I really want a dog

I really want a truck

I really want a house

I really want a yard

I really want a garage

 

 

You don't always get what you want...

But if you try some time, you might just find

You get what you need...

 

All I really need is my house, my garage, and my yard!

[FortunateOne]

It really depends on your age. The older folks can accept this view while the young ones can't.

[DropToZero]

I know I don't. I will never do it. I don't think it is worth the trouble at all. I don't want kids anyway so I don't really see the point in marriage. But I do want a committed relationship. I don't know if I can find a woman who doesn't want to get married or have kids and yet want a committed relationship.

 

I hope I get a lot of responses from women

 

See your problem with this is... there's no commitment then, at least not what's supposed to be a binding one. Much of the nation's already destroyed what marriage is supposed to be about anyways.

 

Another problem, if you have kids(even on accident)... then ... there's no commitment, and you could end up splitting up and then she's possibly left as a single mother, or you just have another screwed up *family* that has to trade off the kids every other weekend.

 

I'm sure you can find one... just don't have kids, go get snipped. At least if you break up outside of marriage without kids, the only persons you're hurting are each other.

 

What you essentially are saying you want... is cohabitation... and most of them breakup anyways(not all)... because they don't have or understand the point of a true marital covenant.

[Mia_of_Doom]

This is what my ex and I split up over.

 

He wanted to get married, I didn't. I don't know if my mind will change later on, but I'm 21. The thought of marriage now or anytime within my 20s scares me witless. It made me very uncomfortable to talk about being committed for the rest of our lives. Plus I was having lots of issues with living together and seeing him every single day. I felt very claustrophobic and felt I had no room to just breathe and relax.

 

My ideal situation would be to have a relationship while living separately. Of course we'd spend the night and go on vacations and such. But living together would probably make me insane. I told my ex I might want to get my own place and he got very upset. To him, it was serious backstepping in our relationship and commitment. To me, it's not any less of a commitment at all.

[bingedrinking]

Well living together is not really a problem. I would love it! I just have a problem with marriage and kids.

 

 

 

Hey sure, you are right, I should get that operation done. But I am a little scared. Does it do any long term damage or something? I am very sure I don't want to have kids btw.

[scared and alone]

See your problem with this is... there's no commitment then, at least not what's supposed to be a binding one. Much of the nation's already destroyed what marriage is supposed to be about anyways.

 

Another problem, if you have kids(even on accident)... then ... there's no commitment, and you could end up splitting up and then she's possibly left as a single mother, or you just have another screwed up *family* that has to trade off the kids every other weekend.

 

I'm sure you can find one... just don't have kids, go get snipped. At least if you break up outside of marriage without kids, the only persons you're hurting are each other.

 

What you essentially are saying you want... is cohabitation... and most of them breakup anyways(not all)... because they don't have or understand the point of a true marital covenant.

 

What do you mean by that?

 

I personally, want to get married and have kids and all that good stuff, but hey, if someone else doesn't want those things, I see nothing wrong with that. To each their own. It's an individual decision, you just have to find the person that wants the same thing.

[Imprecision]

Marriage is my primary life goal right now. Along with this, securing a firm financial foundation, so that I can support a family.

 

So no, I don't agree with you.

 

Btw, I don't understand what you mean by a committed relationship without marriage. That seems like an oxymoron.

[scared and alone]

Marriage is my primary life goal right now. Along with this, securing a firm financial foundation, so that I can support a family.

 

So no, I don't agree with you.

 

Btw, I don't understand what you mean by a committed relationship without marriage. That seems like an oxymoron.

 

First, let me say, that as a female, I appreciate a male with a view such as yours. But, Why is a committed relationship without marriage an oxymoron? There are MANY people in this world that have been together for decades, but not married, in committed relationships. Why is that an oxymoron? Just because you dont have a paper or ring, doesn't mean you are not just as committed. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years, we arent even engaged, but we are committed.

[Imprecision]

First, let me say, that as a female, I appreciate a male with a view such as yours. But, Why is a committed relationship without marriage an oxymoron? There are MANY people in this world that have been together for decades, but not married, in committed relationships. Why is that an oxymoron? Just because you dont have a paper or ring, doesn't mean you are not just as committed. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years, we arent even engaged, but we are committed.

 

So do you promise each other to stay together forever? If you do, then what's the difference from marriage? If you don't, then how are you committed?

[bingedrinking]

Btw, I don't understand what you mean by a committed relationship without marriage. That seems like an oxymoron.

 

Well why not? Marriage scares me, man! I won't do it. No matter what happens, I will never do it. But I am willing to have a committed relationship with the woman I love. Is there any possibility that a woman would accept to this?

[Imprecision]

Well why not? Marriage scares me, man! I won't do it. No matter what happens, I will never do it. But I am willing to have a committed relationship with the woman I love. Is there any possibility that a woman would accept to this?

 

Well as I said before - I don't understand what you mean by a committed relationship without marriage.

 

1. Either you promise each other to stay together forever, in which case you're both committed and married,

 

2. or you don't, in which case you're neither committed nor married.

 

Furthermore, I don't see what's so difficult here. If you like a girl, and she's good to you, then you should get married. It's simple.

 

Marriage also means becoming a real man, for a boy looks after only himself, but a man takes care of others. As they say - Marriage is giving a girl a home.

[scared and alone]

So do you promise each other to stay together forever? If you do, then what's the difference from marriage? If you don't, then how are you committed?

 

Actually, we do plan to stay together. Second, how dare you say we aren't committed just because we aren't married, we arent unfaithful. And third, have you seriously never heard of DIVORCE? Yeah, MARRIED people get divorced EVERY DAY because they couldn't keep their COMMITMENT promise. Marriage does NOT = stay together FOREVER as you say. So don't sit there acting all high and mighty about marriage "commitment" vs non-marriage commitment. And believe it or not, some people believe their relationship is strong enough that they don't need a ring to say they will stay with each other through thick and thin... Are you that close-minded that you honestly believe that a ring is the ONLY way to stay committed?

[veneratio]

Not sure how I feel about this. I really don't believe there are too many people capable of love. And that makes me weary of marriage. Sometimes I want it, other times I don't.

[In the Dark]

I don't believe in marriage.

I have seen too many relationships fall apart shortly after.

I don't see the reason to get married if the relationship is just fine.

[Imprecision]

Actually, we do plan to stay together. Second, how dare you say we aren't committed just because we aren't married, we arent unfaithful. And third, have you seriously never heard of DIVORCE? Yeah, MARRIED people get divorced EVERY DAY because they couldn't keep their COMMITMENT promise. Marriage does NOT = stay together FOREVER as you say. So don't sit there acting all high and mighty about marriage "commitment" vs non-marriage commitment. And believe it or not, some people believe their relationship is strong enough that they don't need a ring to say they will stay with each other through thick and thin... Are you that close-minded that you honestly believe that a ring is the ONLY way to stay committed?

 

I might buy a ring, or I might not. It is a western custom. But it seems widespread enough these days that even rural girls in the mainland want it.

 

When a man and a woman decide to live together forever, they declare their love to the community. They make it known to Heaven, Earth, and their ancestors, so that they may receive their blessings. Furthermore, because their families become relations through marriage, they gain duties to each other's family. The community also has a duty to protect and safeguard their marriage.

 

This is why I say - When I marry a girl, she must become a daughter to my parents, and a sister to my sister.

 

When I marry a girl, I intend to stay with her forever. If I didn't intend to stay with her forever, I would not marry her.

[Gray Fox]

When a man and a woman decide to live together forever, they declare their love to the community.

 

dont really care much about the community

 

 

They make it known to Heaven, Earth, and their ancestors, so that they may receive their blessings.

 

Don't need to have a marriage to make it known to the people u care about. Even though im an atheist I think God got to be blind if he can't see how much i love the one im with and how these little things such as marriage doesnt really matter in the end.

 

When I marry a girl, I intend to stay with her forever. If I didn't intend to stay with her forever, I would not marry her

 

It's great that you have a symbol to show ur love for someone but i believe its unnecessary and ppl use it too much. Almost like a ritual where u believe that if u actually doing it will help u be together with the person forever. Thats y thy say marriage then kids because these 2 things try hard tie the relationship together, esp kids. for me all ill ever need is love..and some reason

[diabolik]

The older I get, the less attractive marriage seems to me. At least part of the reason is b/c I don't want to bring the state into my relationship.

[DJBaby]

I'm a chick in her early thirties who's never been married, nor had children. I also don't care for either of the above. I would get married if a loving partner wanted to, but I wouldn't pursue it.

 

I have had committed, long-term relationships. The last one was five years.

[_Asti_]

Everyone has different views on what marriage means to THEM and what it symbolizes.

Arguing that someone is right or wrong in how they feel about marriage, is pointless.

 

Alls that matters is finding someone who feels the same about marriage as you do.

 

I know several people who do not want to get married, I'm not going to argue my point in how I feel about marriage, or why I am because its irrelevant, you're arguing about something you two won't ever agree on.

 

My parnter and I feel the same about marriage, for US, its the ultimate committment. Not everyone feels that way, but all that matters is how we feel about and why we are doing it.

 

Anyone can argue against it, and say that a ring means nothing, but what does it matter? We don't agree, so its irrelevant what you think/feel.

 

So OP, yes you can find someone who feels the same way.

I know many of my female friends have made statements about not wanting marriage or kids.

There are girls out there.

[Mimori]

I don’t believe you have to be married to be committed to one another (But oddly enough if you live together for a certain amount of time you technically are “married” .

 

I believe in what Marriage used to stand for: As the ultimate form of commitment… The most binding and exhilarating adventure, having your lives intertwine to create a family and grow old as one.

 

Spiritual speaking (I’m agnostic) It’s the bind that brings the two souls together.

 

I don’t believe marriage has to turn into what everyone else lumps it under. I don’t believe that the sex and romance has to die… That a person has to change so dramatically once the commitment is made.

 

The problem with marriage nowadays is people believe they have someone who will always be there…the security of that fact is awfully frightening. What if you meet someone who fits you better (Then you commit infidelity/cheat) because your bind and legally with your husband/wife… Divorcing is a terrible mess-or can become one.

 

I don’t believe marriage should be looked at as such a terrible and scary fact. But I also don’t think it’s something that should be taken lightly and rushed into. (People are getting married so young nowadays).

 

As said by Asti, this is my opinion on marriage. It’s a symbol of our love and connection with each other… our symbol that we want to be together forever… without the easy back door of being able to just move out and stop calling… The symbol isn’t meant for the community (I could care less what they believed) but is meant for us-between whoever my future husband may be and myself. It’s for him and I to show that we don’t plan to ever leave (hopefully).

 

It’s not a horrible thing to not want to be married. But one day, I’d love to be. I’d also love to have a child… I miscarried last year.

 

Just like any other choice in life, we all get to choose our own paths and beliefs. What works for some, may not work for another.

[DropToZero]

What do you mean by that?

 

I personally, want to get married and have kids and all that good stuff, but hey, if someone else doesn't want those things, I see nothing wrong with that. To each their own. It's an individual decision, you just have to find the person that wants the same thing.

 

It has to do with the fact that much of America has made marriage just another type of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and accepted divorce like it's the easy way out and the commitment doesn't mean anything. Divorce should only be used in extreme circumstances(such as cheating, abuse, and others)... not "We argue a lot, or we can't get along, or he's not doing this-she's not doing that"...these are relationships full of selfishness and misunderstanding. And yes, I'll make that generalization, this nation is full of a bunch of quitters when it comes to marriage.

 

Let me make this clear, if you want to get married, READ and UNDERSTAND your vows... they're not just words... they're a covenant, it says "for better, OR for worse" and "til death do us part"... most just don't read it, don't take it seriously, and would rather give up and move onto someone else.

 

(and to 'scared and alone', this isn't all addressed directly to you, just making a statement)

 

 

 

To address the OP, no I don't know anything about having a vasectomy--if you want one go talk to your doctor. I just know, if you are not planning on actually getting married--or not planning on having kids--you're better off trying to make it the most full-proof you can.

[Blue Spiral]

I don't believe in marriage, either.

[Lonewing]

But then the vows are unenforceable in this day and age, so the document no longer carries permanment weight.

[Imprecision]

But then the vows are unenforceable in this day and age, so the document no longer carries permanment weight.

 

But when a young man and a young woman vow to love each other forever, they should do so sincerely.